Friday, December 17, 2004

Santa on the Web part 1

Holy Dwight Schultz! Santa is ALL OVER THE WEB. I was stunned to find out just how many websites the big guy has.

Today, let's take a look at a few of them. First off is
The main draw of this site is, of course, the ability to EMAIL Santa. Still, there are a few other things to look at on the site.
'Santa's Chimney Exercises' shows, through AWFUL trick photography, Santa coming down a chimney. 'Get an autographed photo' allows you to see your name on a photo of Santa. It doesn't even remotely look signed. Would it have killed Santa to use a font that LOOKED like handwriting?
There is also a Rudolph cam that just takes you to a bright red screen. See, Rudolph's nose is SOOO bright that it blocks your view of everything.

One of the drawbacks to the site is the transitions. Each page takes FOREVER to 'transmit' from the North Pole (occasionally the transitions are accompanied by elf voice overs.

As for emailing Santa, the site lets you fill in the blanks to a form letter and then a form letter response APPEARS on your screen.

The blanks include:
-How old are you?
-Where do you live?
-What do you want for Christmas?

Here are the highlights of Santa's response to my letter:

#1, Rudolph Way
North Pole, Canada

Bunchojunkwood, California
United States
Tuesday, December 14, 2004

HO!! Ho!! ho!! Sweetie!!

Thank you for sending me your email all the way from Bunchojunkwood! The Net sure is wonderful because now I never feel lonely all the way up at the North Pole. An email from you, Sweetie, sure makes my day!

Well call me the King of Jing-a-Ling, Sweetie! Are you fibbing to ol' Santa Claus?!? You can't possibly be 25 years old already! Why it seems like only yesterday that I was leaving presents for a certain little boy and here you are now, practically one of Santa's elves! (*grin*)

Let's see what you put in your letter for Christmas wishes: 1. big old bucket of phat cash; 2. pizza and; 3. a night with Angelina Jolie. HO!! Ho!! ho!! Can I tell you a secret? I thought it might be fun to get Mrs. Claus something just like that for Christmas too! Let's hope the elves can make enough of them for everyone!

Oh! oh! The Grinch is trying to steal some of Mrs. Claus' cookies! That Grinch sure is funny. He may not like Christmas, but he sure likes those cookies! Well, I better go stop him before he snitches them all. Take care Sweetie and don't forget to come back and visit me here at on Christmas Eve!! And remember... only 11 more sleeps until Christmas!!

All My Love,

Santa Claus

So, what did we learn from Santa's letter?

1. Santa and Mrs. Claus have a very open (and frightening) marriage.
2. Dr. Seuss needs to work harder to defend its copyright on The Grinch.
3. This Christmas there will be Angelina Jolie for EVERYONE!

Next site I visited was
Really LAME interface, very few graphics and plenty of ads.
Speaking of which, there is a section called 'Santa's Favorite Books and other Gifts'.
Here you learn that Santa REALLLY LOVES THE IPOD. I am not kidding, every where you look on this site there is the Ipod. Jeez.

They also have a link to email Santa, and this time you can write whatever you want. I have no idea what the reply would be since I haven't gotten one yet. According to the site these are possible reasons why:
Once again, Santa and the elves will be answering all email and accepting emailed gift lists! All letters to Santa will receive a response -- however, it is possible that not every question will be answered due to time constraints on Santa and the elves. If you do not receive a response it could mean one of several things: your return email address is set incorrectly, your email to Santa got lost in cyberspace (it happens), your internet service provider is blocking email (AOL/America Online is very bad about this, EarthLink isn't too good either), or the response got lost in cyberspace. Please check your return email address in your mailer before sending a message to Santa!

Wow, they sure sucked the fun out of emailing Santa with that disclaimer. Also, I am not surprised AOL and Earthlink are on their naughty list.

In conclusion, Santa's out there and he is ready to listen to you.

I just hope my Angelina Jolie doesn't get lost in cyberspace (it happens.)

Don't forget to check out:
Santa on the Web Part 2
Santa on the Web Part 3
Santa on the Web Part 4