Tuesday, December 21, 2004

The Hooters' Menu

Hooters is a restaurant more famous for their staff than their food.

It's no wonder, since the Hooter girl has become as famous a symbol of beauty as the Rockettes and the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader. Lately, Hooters restaurants have been springing up everywhere. There is even one located on fabulous Hollywood Blvd, across from Grauman's Chinese Theater.

On the inside Hooters resembles your typical theme restaurant. Large TVs, lots of posters and junk hanging on the walls. Many have some sports memorabilia on display, such as the hood of a formula one race car. The walls are also adorned with signs (ex: Caution-Blondes thinking) and photos of celebrities dining at various Hooters nationwide.

My favorite is the one of Mohammad Ali and Geraldo Rivera at a Hooters in Memphis. Elvis would be proud.

If you have never been to Hooters, it is probably far less sexy or sleazy than you would imagine. The Hooters girl outfit covers more skin than most girl’s summer outfits today, and far more than the outfit Ariel wears at Walt Disney World. The place is also actively trying to get families to work there with promotions such as 'kids eat free' days.

Heck, I even saw one that had Spongebob Squarepants doing an appearance.
The menu is full of "jokes" I put the word jokes in quotes because... well... you'll see.

On the front, the menu reads:
We proudly present the soon to be relatively famous Hooters of (name of the town or city)

Inside, the menu is divided into sections appetizers (called Hooterstizers), seafood, sandwiches, etc. Under some of the items more 'jokes' can be found.
Grilled mahi sandwich
so good it should be Jacques Cousteau's poster fish
Ham and cheese sandwich
The piggy came from a market, the cheese came from a cow. We added some secret sauce and they're on a roll now.

On the back cover they have 'The Hooters Saga' a silly story that tells the 'origin' of the chain. It is pretty funny, it’s like Gonzo from the Muppet Show had dementia and a typewriter and this was the result.

At the bottom they have their logo 'Hooters-Delightfully tacky yet unrefined' and a list of merchandise. One of the items reads 'Hooters Calendar: The only way you'll get a date in this place.'

Harsh reality served with a smile.


  1. Robble Robble Robble Robble. I once went to a Hooters in McDonaldland with fellow Hamburger junky, Wimpy (of Popeye fame). He tried to con them into giving him a burger today in exchange for payment on Tuesday. Our waitress was too smart of him, so he looked at me and was like, "The jig is up". I said, "Robble Robble, let's just steal the burgers." So we put on wigs and dressed up as Hooter's waitress, (stuffing socks down our shirts) snuck in the back, and stole as many paties as possible. Oh good times. I hear on certain Friday nights, Wimpy still dresses up like Hooters waitress. Freak. Robble Robble Robble

  2. Gene Hackman is so cool the Hooters menu orders off him!

  3. Those dames sure have legs up the wazoo, the way Ava Gardner used to!! One time I was in a Hooters (I accidently thought it was the Brown Derby) and some knucklehead was giving his waitress a hard time. Sammy and I took him out back and showed him how to treat a lady. Let's just say next time he was in Hooters all he could order was a milkshake. Now where's that ghost hooker with my whiskey sour?

  4. You know what would be AWESOME?? If Hooters opened a resturant at Snake River Canyon and Evel Knievel ate their on a regular basis and drank a lot of beer. One night, a Hooters waittress dares him to jump over the Hooters resturant and Knievel takes her up on the bet. So not only does Knievel jump over the resturant and snake river canyon, but the Hooters waittress is so impressed that she marries him and they live together forever. The Hooters owner is so impressed that he names a sandwich after him called, "The Knievel Club", which features ham, turkey, and roast beef triple stacked on wheat bread with lettuce, tomato and mayo and served with fries for just $6.99. Then the owner adds the joke, "So good, YOU'LL be jumping for joy." OH MAN THAT WOULD BE SSSSSSSSSWWWWWWWWWWEEEEETTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!