Thursday, December 09, 2004

Disney Reschedules 100 Years of Magic Celebration Due To Miscalculation

Here is a press release not yet available to the public.
The legacy of Walt Disney -- his creativity and spirit of adventure -- inspired a year-long celebration that featured special events, new attractions and sparkling new live entertainment at all four Walt Disney World theme parks on Oct. 1, 2001. The event lasted over one year and brought millions of visitors to the Orlando Florida theme parks.

Today, however, red faced Disney executives announced "...we were a bit early."

The 100 Years of Magic Celebration marked the 100th anniversary of Walt Disney’s birth on Dec. 5, 1901. Unfortunately biographers recently informed Theme Park officials that Walt Disney performed no magical feats for the first 8 years of his life.

“The emotional connection that our guests have to the Disney legacy is important to consider, but we should have realized he wasn't like a baby Merlin, or something.” said Walt Disney World President Al Weiss.

In fact, Disney wasn't even a baby Ricky Jay. Walt developed at the same speed as most children, learning to speak and walk and eventually ride a bike.

Still, it wasn't until 1909 that Walt's magic was demonstrated. Walt performed a routine called 'Who Stole the Butter' with a puppet made out of an old newspaper and a dirty sock.

"It was quite magical," Walt's Aunt Sarah said of the show in a 1968 interview "as a matter of fact, it was the first magical thing I ever saw Walt do."

So, the whole celebration will be repeated at the Parks in 2009.

"Luckily" said Epcot Coordinator John Hommol "this 'do over' gives us a chance to fix some of the mistakes we made the first time."

Hommol was speaking of some of the less popular exhibits such as 'Try On Walt's Pants', 'Mickey's House of 1000 Animal Corpses' and 'The Original Pirates of the Caribbean' which didn't actually feature pirates, instead it was just a bunch of Pittsburgh baseball players on vacation in the Cayman Islands. The ballplayers ordered margaritas and complained about Lyndon B. Johnson for most of the attraction.

In addition to the existing parks, the new celebration will take place in time to appear at the under construction 'Disney's Supermarket Fun' Park. That park, scheduled for a 2007 opening is said to have "The largest produce section ever" and 'a bowl of orange juice so freakin' big that you can bathe in it.’

Patrons are not expected to bathe in it.


  1. Anonymous12/09/2004

    Hmmmm. I almost believed this one!

  2. Yeah, they always find a way to squeeze more money outta poeple!

  3. Cool - I missed the first one!! Thanks!!

  4. Yeah, that fooled me too.

  5. Anonymous12/09/2004

    Guy Who Looks Like a Puppet Made Out of an Old Newspaper and a Dirty Sock said:

    Well, WHO DID steal the butter?

  6. Gene Hackman is so cool magic performs him!!

  7. The real Magic at the Walt Disney Corp. didn't start until they discovered Hilary Duff in the late 90s. This combination of brains, beauty, singing, dancing, acting, and moxy is truely Walt's finest magic at work!

  8. You know what would be MAGICAL?? If Walt Disney hired Evel Knievel to jump over his theme park, but Knievel's motorcycle was out of gas. Knievel was going to use one of those old-timey 1920's bicycles with the giant front wheel, but none were available. They looked for gas, but Dumbo refused to siphon some out of the motorcars. All they had was champagne to celebrate the event. So Walt turned the champagne into gasoline using Mickey's wand. Oh man, that would be SSSSWWWWWEEEETTT!!!!!

  9. Sweetie, I think the confusion comes from the when Walt was less than a year old and dancing before he could walk. Later, this was dismissed as not magic, but simply constipation.

  10. Man, I hope I can try on those pants again!