Wednesday, November 12, 2008

100 Movies In 100 Days

Recently I challenged my self to become a better person. The best thing I could think of doing was to quit smoking.

Unfortunately I was a non-smoker, but after a trip to the 7-11 I had a pack of Kents and I was ready to start, then stop smoking. And in doing so I would begin (and then no longer) pollute the air with second hand smoke.

Well, a few months later and several thousands dollars worth of "stop smoking" lessons and I had quit smoking.

Anyway, I also watched 100 movies in 100 around the same time. Not sure why I mentioned the other story, except that I felt like mentioning an obscure brand of smokes.

Which Kent probably is.... unless that is your brand, then I mean Merit.

I decided to watch the 100 movies because I felt my movie watching had fallen into a rut. I would routinely watch movies that I had seen just a few years earlier and other times I would spend time talking to my family.

That was no fun, because they usually just chided me about my smoking habit. L&M cigarettes. Obscure? Maybe. Tasty, sure.

So my goal was simple. I would watch 100 of the films that I had NEVER seen. This way I could watch some of the DVDs that I had stacked up in my house, and I could check out some of the fine programming HBO offers.

I saw some great films.

The two best were Spartacus and The Rocketeer. That's two different movies. Although a film called Spartacus and The Rocketeer would have been AWESOME. Like a pack of Benson & Hedges.

I saw two films that were absolutely horrible. L.A. Heat and Transmorphers. That's also two different movies... although L.A. Heat and Transmorphers doesn't actually sound like a movie title.

I also saw some flat out strange movies. I saw an odd animated film about a horse playing baseball, I saw a film where Dolly Parton was an angel, I saw a film where a guy ate a lizard and I saw 4 different Three Stooges movies.

100 days ago I had never seen the Fletch movies, today I have. 100 days ago I had never seen a dog with a mustache... still waiting on that one actually.

I saw an abundance of movies about monkeys in outer space. I saw and abundance of movies about snakes and I SAW A GUY EAT A LIZARD.

I didn't get to the movies during the 100 days as I would have liked, but I did see The Dark Knight, Beverly Hills Chihuahua, Space Chimps, Eagle Eye, Fly Me To The Moon, An American Carol and I SAW A GUY EAT A LIZARD. A REAL LIZARD. NOT SOME SPECIAL EFFECT LIZARD.

I went around the world through the movie screen during these 100 days. I saw The African Queen, Harlem Nights, The Great Los Angeles Earthquake and Soccer Dog 2: European Cup. I also wondered why they didn't call it European Pup. Maybe they did and I wrote it down wrong.

I saw so many movies during that 100 days. If you gave me a quarter for every movie I saw I would have 100 quarters... and why don't you give me 100 quarters? Man, that would let me accomplish my other dream of playing 100 games of Primal Rage.

Here is a complete list of the movies:
1. Harlem Nights -DVD- ***
2. Santo & Blue Demon vs. Dracula & The Wolfman -DVD- ***
3. The Dark Knight -Movie Theater- ***
4. Space Chimps -Movie Theater- ****
5. Moon Pilot -DVD- **
6. Unlikely Angel -DVD- ***
7. Ninja: The Protector -DVD- **
8. The Cat From Outer Space -DVD- ****
9. Flesh -DVD- **
10. Ninja Phantom Heroes -DVD- **
11. The Snake, The Tiger, The Crane -DVD- ***
12. Silence of the Heart -DVD- **
13. Boatniks -DVD- ****
14. Superdad -DVD- **
15. Once Upon a Time in the West -DVD- ****
16. Lt. Robinson Caruso USN -DVD- ****
17. The Lonely Guy -Cable- ***
18. Soccer Dog -Cable- **
19. Soccer Dog: European Cup -Cable-***
20. College -Cable- ****
21. Way of the Dragon -DVD- ****
22. I Am Legend -DVD rental- **
23. Headin' Home -Cable- **
24. Unaccompanied Minors -Cable- **
25. Lost Boys: The Tribe -DVD- ****
26. Resident Evil: Extinction -Cable- **
27. Pieces -region 2 DVD- ***
28. Doomsday -DVD- ***
29. Stump the Band -DVD- ***
30. RSVP -DVD- **
31. Alvin & the Chipmunks meet Frankenstein -DVD- **
32. Phantom of Chinatown - Cable TV - ***
33. College Road Trip -DVD rental- ****
34. Animalympics -Cable TV- ****
35. Glory Daze -DVD- **
36. Boa vs. Python -DVD- ****
37. Rattlers -DVD- ****
38. Stanley -Dollar Store DVD- **
39. Swing Vote -Movie Theater- ***
40. Clone Wars -Movie Theater-***
41. Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park -DVD- ***
42. Black Dragon -DVD- **
43. Lets Go To Prison -Cable TV- **
44. Transmorphers -DVD- */*****
45. A Cars Life -DVD- **
46. Chatterbox -bootleg DVD- **
47. Rockin' in the Rockies -Cable- **
48. Drive In -Bootleg DVD- ****
49. Trouble Man -DVD- ***
50. Fletch -Cable TV-**
51. Fletch Lives -Cable TV-**
52. Spill -Cable TV- ***
53. Block-heads -Cable TV- ***
54. The Pom Pom Girls -DVD- **
55. Tomboy -DVD- ***
56. Sergent Murphy -Cable TV- ****
57. Jocks -DVD- ***
58. Omega Man -DVD- ****
59. Faith of My Fathers -DVD- ***
60. Pardon Us -Cable- **
61. The Great Los Angeles Earthquake -DVD- ***
62. The Little Mermaid: Ariel's Beginning -DVD- ****
63. Snow White & The Three Stooges -DVD- **
64. The Honeymooners - Cable TV- ***
65. The Wizard of Gore -DVD- ***
66. Bodyguard- Dollar DVD-***
67. Juggernaut -Cable TV- ***
68. Bon Voyage Charlie Brown (and Don't Come Back) -Cable- ***
69. The Horse That Played Centerfield - VHS- **
70. The Sasquatch Gang -Cable TV- **
71. The Gunslinger - VHS - **
72. Alias Jesse James -Cable TV- ****
73. The African Queen - Cable - ****
74. The Three Stooges In Orbit -DVD- ****
75. A Boy Named Charlie Brown -DVD- **
76. I Accuse My Parents -VHS- **
77. The Foot Fist Way - DVD -**
78. Rainbow Valley -DVD- ***
79. Randy Rides Alone - DVD - ***
80. Eagle Eye - IMAX Theater - ***
81. The Rocketeer -Cable TV- *****
82. Miracle Mile -Cable TV- ***
83. Fly Me To The Moon 3D -Movie Theater- ***
84. Callaway Went Thataway - Cable TV- ****
85. Hancock -airplane inflight movie- ***
86. Get Smart -airplane inflight movie- **
87. Meet Dave -airplane inflight movie- ****
88. Beverly Hills Chihuahua - MovieTheater- ****
89. L.A. Heat -Cable- *
90. Kit Kittredge: An American Girl - airplane inflight movie- ***
91. Diminished Capacity -airplane inflight movie- **
92. Swing Parade of 1946 - DVD - ***
93. Bottle Rocket - DVD - ***
94. Dance With Me Henry **
95. Tarzan and the Mermaids -Cable TV- ***
96. An American Carol - Movie Theater -**
97. Rising Son - The Legend of Skateboarder Christian Hosoi -Cable- ***
98. Spartacus - Cable TV- *****
99. The Day the Earth Stood Still - Cable TV- ****
100. Demons -DVD- ***

For full write ups click here. Full write ups is a bit of a lie. For a shoddy paragraph about each film click here.

Photo of Guy Hutchinson

Guy Hutchinson
Photo of Guy Hutchinson

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Thursday, September 18, 2008

My Old Bedroom Wall part 2

Recently I found a photo of my bedroom wall circa 1987.
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click here for a larger image

In the last post I identified 30 of the 60 pieces of art... so that's like 90 percent.

click here to see a key

Here is the rest:

31. This was a xerox of my hand and a bunch of other junk. I did this at the library, I think, and it probably cost me a quarter.

32. Tara of Gorgeous Ladies Of Wrestling. She looks kinda gorgeous. I don't think I ever saw her wrestle. But, I dreamed about it. I dreamed she wrestled me... and we both won... if you know what I mean... and if you do call me and tell me.

33. Brutus The Barber and a referee. Might have been Danny Davis. I almost typed Brutus the Babar. That would have been a cool gimmick. If he turned into an elephant after the match.

34. Ted Dibiasi and Virgil. I met Virgil once. I didn't find it that enriching.

35. A bloodied black and white photo of Hogan. This had to be from Pro Wrestling Illustrated. WWF magazine never showed blood. Except if Blood was the name of a tag team... but I don't think it was. Did I mention that I met Babar? Or was that Virgil? No, I am pretty sure it was me that met Babar.

36. Potty Scotty (Garbage Pail Kids) I loved the Garbage Pail Kids. Loved them more than anything else for a short time. Potty Scotty, my only 1st edition card, was the prize of my collection. I am proud to say I still own it.

37. Not sure. Perhaps it's a photo of the time that Babar and Virgil wrestled that chick from GLOW. I already forgot her name. Maybe it was Danny Davis? No I am pretty sure it was me that forgot her name.

38. Schematic of the Back to the Future Delorean Time Machine. I think I still have this, too. I know I still have the magazine I removed the poster from, but I think the poster is in there too... maybe it was Babar... ah, even I am sick of that joke.

39. I will give you ten bucks if you let me skip to number 43.

43. Check is in the mail, my friend.

44. This was a picture of the Hart Foundation involved in what the wrestlers call a smoshz. Not sure how they spell it. I think it's Hebrew for "french taco."

45. I am ashamed to say I think that is Adam Bomb... not the Garbage Pail Kid, but the WWF star.

46. The Ultimate Warrior. I hated him, but I had about 3 inches of empty space to fill. This was important.

47. Miss Elizabeth. Lovely.

48. I think this was a photo of the Hart Foundation (with Danny Davis) doing the see no evil, hear no evil, starring Kane starts Friday at the Cineramadome, pose.

49. Jimmy Hart. Today he does a commercial for hair loss. Back then (fill in hilarious joke later.)

50. Not sure about this.

51. Don't know what this was.

52. Macho Man and Elizabeth and Hogan. The two men are holding her on their sweaty shoulders.

53. My autographed picture of Roddy Piper. I got this free from a mail away form in a WWF ice cream bar box. I still have this, too.

54. Bam Bam Bigelow and Sir Oliver Humperdink. Yup, these were names given to grown men.

55. Bam Bam.

56. Weird Al Yankovic. What room is complete without his photo.

57. A small black dot. Could just be a piece of dirt on the scanner. I have no idea.

58. Strike Force logo. They were a team of Tito Santana and Rick Martel. Originally it was Rick Martel and Tom Zenk. They called themselves the Can-Am Connection. Jessie Ventura joked that the Tito and Rick team should be called the Mexi-can Connection. But instead they called themselves Strike Force because they "strike... with force." Yup. I watched lots of wrestling when I was a kid.

59. Dunno.

60. The Honky Tonk Man. He was cool. He was cocky. He was b-b-b-bad.

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

My Old Bedroom Wall part 1

Recently I found a photo of my bedroom wall circa 1987.
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click here for a larger image

Isn't it grand?

I remember the hour or two I spent cutting those photos out of WWF Magazine, Muppet Magazine and a few other places... then slapping 'em on the wall.

I decided to identify the 60 pieces of art that are shown in this photo:
click here to see a key

click here to see a different key

1. Kermit the Frog as Pee Wee Herman: How cool is that?!? I know this was in Muppet Magazine. I wish I still have this because I would love to hang this up someplace today. Actually, I could probably find it in a calendar or something if I really looked. Heck, it's probably on the Internet somewhere. But, really, where would I put it. You know, I am glad I tossed it.

2. Hulk Hogan vs King Kong Bundy: Action shot. I wasn't a really big Hogan fan, but I really think I used 1 WWF magazine, 1 Muppet magazine, 1 Pro Wrestling Illustrated and very little else to decorate this wall.

3. Don Muraco: The original Rock. You wish you had that on your wall.

4. Animal as David Lee Roth: Another Muppet poster, this one Animal is dressed like David Lee Roth in the "Dave TV" segment from one of his videos... I think it was either "Just a Juggalo" or "Runnin' with the ICP."

5. Macho Man Randy Savage: Pretty sure this is him standing on the apron wearing one of his silly outfits. Or he is standing on one of his silly outfits and wearing an apron.

6 & 7. Article on Brutus The Barber Beefcake: I think this article showed him getting his haircutting license or some such nonsense.

8. Ax (or Smash): This scary hooded figure was one half of Demolition. Damn, they were the coolest wrestling tag team when they debuted.

9. The Bushwackers: Yeah, Luke and Butch. I would like to take a moment to point out the cool haphazard angled look of most of the photos. This made my room extra cool.... even though I had a picture of The Bushwackers on the wall.

10. Smash (or Ax): Still cool.

11. Hulk Hogan and Miss Elizabeth: Another action shot. I think this was before she got hit in the head by a guitar. Wrestling is cool.

12. A bunch of Muppets: Nuff said.

13. The Hart Foundation: Cooler than The Bushwackers not as cool as Demolition.

14. Not sure.

15. CD Cover from Piledriver-The Wrestling Album II

16. Hmmmm.... I can't be sure about this. It may be photo of a lady wrestler clipped from GLOW magazine. I think there was only one issue of GLOW magazine.

17. Glow Girl: Can't be sure which one... like it matters.

18. I don't remember. And to be honest with you, I am starting to wish I hadn't decided to break down EACH picture.

19. Roddy Piper: Seriously, do I need to write an explanation here? Or can I assume you know who he his. Almost a third of the way through this nonsense.

20. I really can't tell on this one. You know, I want to apologise for being so grumpy on the last couple of descriptions. I know it's not your fault that I decided to write this stuff. I just have some pain in my neck (actual pain in my actual neck... it's not a metaphor) and I am a bit hungry. Sorry.

21. Double Jake "The Snake" Roberts: I guess one Jake "The Snake" is good, two is great. Plus you can look at it and see what it looks like when Jake "The Lush" looks in the mirror.

22. I can't tell. In fact, this might just be some variation in the paint texture... but that's not likely. Dad's a bit of a perfectionist. I can't imagine he would paint the wall uneven. I can't imagine he would let me cover up his nice paint job with a picture of The Bushwackers either, though.

23. More wrestling. It looks like someone is about to do a figure four on someone else.

24. Glow girl in a swim suit. Looks sexy even at this resolution. Of course it could be Hulk Hogan... I think I need to rip my eyes out.

25. Rick Rude: Yup, the ravishing one.

26. Half of Demolition and Mr. Fuji: Sadly it looks like Smash was on the other side of the page and not put on the wall. Axe and Fuji look awesome, however.

27. Weird Al's Band: I probably xeroxed this at the library.

28. Hulk Hogan or Don Muraco in the Piledriver video. I can't tell which one. I am leaning towards it being Muraco.

29. Macho Man, Liz and a guitar: She got hit in the head with it... or maybe he did... I can't remember anymore... I use the "three dots" thing too much... don't you think?

30. Cover of the WWF Magazine featuring Macho Man. I bet if I get a copy of this off eBay I can re-create this wall. That would be pretty cool.

To be concluded...

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Boinking, Buzz and Banishment

Chat rooms are little places where people (sometimes little people) gather to discuss some stuff.

Usually the subjects appeal to a fringe group and the invention of the internet (Al Gore, 1991) has given these folks a place to be heard, hear and hearing. Hear looks funny when you write it many times. Hear I come to save my hearing. Hearing what I hear makes me hear. Hear, hear said the guy who repeats things twice. Hearest hearly hearingly hearamonapia.

Anyway, I am one of those people who likes to seek out other like minded people on the internet. It makes stupid things I like seem far more important.

The thing I look at most on the internet is stuff about Mickey Mouse and his theme parks.

I love those places. I vacation at the two U.S. destinations (Orlando Florida and Fabulous Anaheim California) at least once a year and in the meantime I look for news, rumors and racy pictures of Daisy Duck.

My favorite place to look is a site called:

One of the things I like about micechat is that lots of the people on there are bitter, angry and super-judgmental of others. Sure, most message boards are filled with people like this, but micechat elevates it to a new level.

So, this got me thinking:

If a message board allows posts encouraging the untimely death of Lindsay Lohan, cheers fatal accidents at Six Flags and never uses the word "hear" more than three times in a post... what is unacceptable?

Well, some things are.

And micechat has a very nice group of people who spend lots of time combing through the messages and looking for trolls and things that trolls do. When they find anything objectionable they move it to....


The litter box is a special message board (for micechat registered users only) that is full of posts that needed to be moved away from the civilized forums... and also has some posts that people create just to talk about in the litter box.

The good thing about the litter box is that the rules are a little relaxed. So I wondered... can I post something so vile it gets kicked out of the litter box?

Yep, and it only took a matter of minutes:

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I posted a thread with the title "If you were Buzz, who would you boink?"

The thread contained a poll with three choices and this photo:
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Under the photo I posted "So who would you boink? The chick with the aqua blue face, the big red blob or the little robot? Of course I assume he boinked all three at some point.

Within moments the post was banished... moved to "the graveyard" and area so scary that they call it... the graveyard.

So, I am reposting the poll and picture with the title "If you were Buzz, who would you have a secret crush for... that you only revealed in you diary and to your BFF?"

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Of course, I assume he has a secret crush for all of them. He wont ever tell them, of course, or they might stop boinking him.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Charles Bronson is THE COMMISSIONER

Here is something I saw during a recent trip to Florida:
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Charles Bronson is the Commissioner of the Florida Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services.


I can see him sitting at a desk commissioning about how they will get the Florida Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services to do whatever it does and BOOM a man bursts into the room.

Sir, your wife is in trouble.

Then Bronson goes around smacking thugs and punching punks in the gut.

Man, Florida rocks.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Richard Kiel as The Incredible Hulk

When I was a kid there was nothing I liked more than The Incredible Hulk. The show debuted on TV when I was probably too young to watch it, but it lasted 5 seasons and by the time the 1980s rolled around I was a big fan.

I remember lying on the floor staring up at the TV watching Bill Bixby sail through some sappy melodrama as I waited for 2 things.

First, I wanted to see how David Banner would change his last name this week.
See, David Banner was on the run from Mr. Magee and probably some over-zealous funeral directors wanting more information for his tombstone than just his name.

Because as the opening sequence would remind you, David is believed to be buried under a stone that simply reads "David Bruce Banner" no dates, no pithy quote... nothing.

Because his name was on the stone, David had to change his name every week.

One week he would be David Bammer, the next David Branner, then David Beckham and so on and so on.

I was fascinated about this.

As a kid, I also used to like Mr. Magee. Probably because his name was so similar to Mr. Magoo. Plus he never seemed to catch David. Even Magoo would have caught him by the end of the fourth season.

Remember a few paragraphs ago when I mentioned there were TWO things I looked forward to every week? The other was THE HULK!

The Hulk would come out twice an episode. Once about 15 minutes in and once about ten minutes before the episode ended.

I remember that my Dad let me stay up to watch the show, but only through the Hulk's second "Hulk out."

After that I was remanded to bed pleading "but what if he Hulks up a third time?"

My Dad always said, "Son, he never Hulks up a third time."

He was always right.

Anyway, as a kid I became deftly attuned to what would cause him to Hulk up... David Banner was a klutz.

Some bad guy would pull a knife on him, and he WOULDN'T Hulk up. Some bad guy would pull a knife on a lady, and he WOULDN'T Hulk up. Some bad guy would lock him in a closet, and he WOULDN'T Hulk up.

But then as David struggled to get out of the closet he would stub his pinky toe AND HE WOULD HULK UP.

Once he became the Hulk he would neutralize the situation and then go do something silly for the kids in the audience.

One time the Hulk used an ATM:
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He showed up and there was an old lady using the machine. She freaked out and ran away leaving the Hulk to do his transaction.

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Hulk would try to get a balance inquiry...

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Oh no! He forgot his pin number!

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Then a quick Hulk shove would result in the machine spitting out fives like a person that thought they were eating a salad, but then realized they were eating a bowl of five dollar bills.
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Interestingly, lots of things about the Hulk TV show were different from the comic book. In the comic Banner gets hit with the rays of a gamma bomb, in the show it was some scientific equipment that was improperly set. In the comic he was Bruce Banner and the TV show changed his name to David.

They also wanted to change some other things. They wanted to make the Hulk red, and they wanted him to be played by Richard Kiel. Kiel is either best known for his awesome screen stealing performance as Jaws in two James Bond movies... or for a stupid cameo he has in Happy Gilmore as a big tall guy.

And tall he is. Kiel is over 7 feet tall, but didn't have the muscles that Ferrigno later brought to the character.

Looking back, the idea of a red Richard Kiel as the Hulk seems beyond absurd, but I accepted his name as David and I like his TV show back story much more than the comic book version.

So, I bet I would have been a fan of a skinnier red Hulk, too.

Anyway, the idea of making the Hulk red was nixed, but Kiel was hired to play the Hulk. In fact, they even started shooting the TV movie pilot with him... and one shot of Kiel remained in the final cut.

So, with no further ado... here is Richard Kiel as The Incredible Hulk:
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Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Hot Cross Buns

While doing a little research on Good Friday I read that English blokes (that's British for "British people") eat HOT CROSS BUNS on Good Friday.


I never thought hot cross buns existed.

But they do:
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They are hot buns with a cross on them. I would make a joke about a crucifix tattoo on Jessica Alba's backside, but it hardly seems appropriate in a post about Good Friday.

Here is some information I cut and pasted from Wikipedia (you can tell because there are lots of little numbers in brackets.)

In many historically Christian countries, buns are traditionally eaten on Good Friday, with the cross standing as a symbol of the crucifixion. They are believed by some to pre-date Christianity, although the first recorded use of the term "hot cross bun" is not until 1733[2]; it is claimed (no source found) that buns marked with a cross were eaten by Saxons in honor of the goddess Eostre (the cross is thought to have symbolized the four quarters of the moon)[3]; 'Eostre' is probably the origin of the name 'Easter'[4]. Others claim that the Greeks marked cakes with a cross, much earlier[5]. Cakes were certainly baked in honour of deities since very ancient times[6], although it is not known if they were marked.

According to cookery writer Elizabeth David, Protestant English monarchs saw the buns as a dangerous hold-over of Catholic belief in England, being baked from the dough used in making the communion wafer. Protestant England attempted to ban the sale of the buns by bakers but they were too popular, and instead Elizabeth I passed a law permitting bakeries to sell them, but only at Easter and Christmas.

Who knew that religion could be so yummy. And who knew that hot foods had been invented back in 1733! And who knew that the moon had FOUR QUARTERS! That's enough to play that motorcycle game at the arcade. It looks cool, but I think any game more than 2 quarters is a rip off. Especially 3 quarter games. I once played Silent Scope at the Galleria, then I was stuck with 1 extra quarter. Then I realized none of the games played on one quarter.

So, I could either cash out another two dollars and play three games of Silent Scope or take the quarter to the third floor, lean over the railing and try to drop it into the cleavage of a woman walking on the ground floor. Then I could take the two dollars and spend it on hobo wine. Then become a hobo.

So I played three games of Silent Scope. I shot the quarterback during the football staduim scene. That was funny.

Anyway, obvi (that's how I shorten 'obviously' it saves me lots of time) most folks have heard of 'hot cross buns' because of the song:

Hot cross buns,
One a penny buns,
One a penny,
Two a penny,
Hot cross buns.
Fresh, sweet buns,
Come and buy my buns,
One a penny,
Two a penny,
Fresh, sweet buns.
Nice, light buns,
Buy my currant buns,
Come and try them,
Then you'll buy them,
Nice, light buns.
Hot, sweet buns,
Good for everyone,
All your daughters,
All your sons,
All love buns.
Hot cross buns,
Hot cross buns,
Everybody loves hot cross buns.

Obvi (again, and for those of you who don't pay attention... that's how I shorten 'obviously' it saves me lots of time) I had heard the song as a kid, at least the first verse.

But now, as Paul Harvey would say, you know... the rest of the story.

Friday, May 16, 2008

The 4th Anniversary of



Ahhh, four years. Just think... when I started this in 2004 Robin Williams was four years younger.

And all the things that happened in the past for years! New Years 2005! New Years 2006! New Years 2007! New Years 2008! Amnesty day at the adult video store...

Oh, so many things.

Anyway, a big THANK YOU to anyone who has stuck with me for any of these 4 years. If you haven't, well look at all the things you missed.

You probably aren't even sure of how much older Robin Williams is.

Normally for the Anniversary post I put a bunch of facts together, give a look back at the year... perhaps a guest writer or two.

This year, however, I want to focus on more important things...

The 2005 John Cusack comedy Must Love Dogs.

I never saw it. But I loved the tagline: The hardest trick is making them stay.

Yeah. I don't know John Cusack, but I once saw him in the lounge of the Roosevelt Hotel on Hollywood Boulevard so I consider him a close personal friend.

I can imagine it's not easy to make him stay.

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Diane Lane plays the titular "dog" that he falls in love with. This seems pretty stupid because she is no dog. Sure, she is a bit past her prime, but she is still hot.

John Cusack can be such a pig.

Soooo, lets head over to the official site:

-don't go to!

No one should love dogs that much... except maybe another dog. Even then it's a bit weird.

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My favorite part of the site is the photo gallery. That's where you can find this silver haired fox:
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Yes, he is a man not without his charms. I don't know who he is, or if he followed the mandate to "love dogs."

Maybe he didn't and was mauled to death by a terrier as Cusack and Lane just laughed maniacally (when I say Cusack and Lane I mean John Cusack and Nathan Lane... Diane Lane has far too much class for such things.)

They also have a link on the site to tell a friend about a movie that's 3 years old:
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Also, they have a link to some "Games and Activities"
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The links weren't loading, and that is a shame.

I can imagine it's like Halo 3 but with a forced love of dogs.



I like Hamburger: The Motion Picture:
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It's a feature film about... hamburgers. Sure, it's also about Dick Butkus and his sweet ride and cheatin' ho. And it's also about a Rick James wannabe in cuffs. And, to some people, it's about man who turns into a chicken.

But mostly, it's about Hamburgers.

So is Goodburger:
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And Fast Food:
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Yeah, they give it to you straight.

Unfortunately, not all movies are so doggone honest.

Like Hot Dog- The Movie:
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It's about SKIING! Skiing. That stupid sport thats cold and has too many letter i's in it's name.

LIAR. Or should I call you a LIIAR?

Speaking of frauds, what about Meatballs?
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Man, I could go for a meatball sub right now. Instead, I get Bill Murray and a summer camp.


And don't even get me started on Hamburger Hill.
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In honor of 4 years of wacky nonsense I decided to make a cake (really, if you add it up... it's about 2 1/2 years. I am pretty lazy.)

Then I got distracted and became obsessed with cooking like Annette Funicello.
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For those who don't know, Annette was the most popular of Walt Disney's Mouseketeers and then became a pin-up queen in a series of bikini flicks.

She also knows her way around a kitchen.

This website has a trio of recipes that Annette handed down to the masses.

Annette Funicello's Peanut Banana Pudding recipe
I didn't read this one, but I bet it went something like this:

1 Banana
3 Table spoons Peanut Butter
1 bowl pudding

Add ingredients and stir. Then go cut a rug with your fab friends and Frankie Avalon.

There was also this recipe:
Annette Funicello's Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Cookies recipe
After a long list of ingredients the recipe tells you to do the following:
In large bowl with mixer at low speed beat together margarine, peanut butter, eggs, water and vanilla extract just until blended. Add flour mixture, beat until blended. Increase speed to medium; beat 2 minutes. Stir chocolate pieces into batter. Drop by rounded tablespoons full 3 inches apart onto un-greased cookie sheets. Flatten slightly with floured bottom of glass. Bake for 10 to 12 minutes or until lightly browned. Cool on wire rack.

Sounds like soooo much work. I bet the real instructions are:
In large bowl with mixer at low speed beat together margarine, peanut butter, eggs, water and vanilla extract just until blended. Get bored and tired. Call Tommy Kirk and tell him to stop by the bakery and bring you some cookies.

Finally there is:

Annette Funicello's Steak in a Bag recipe

Annette says to cook at steak in the oven in a brown paper bag. That's either brilliant or the dumbest thing I have ever heard. No wait... I once heard Lyndon Larouche explain his plan on how to fix Social Security. So, steak in a bag CAN'T be the dumbest thing I ever heard.

Yup. Steak in a bag is brilliant.

Annette says:
"You can bake steak early in the day, then bake at 425 degrees F just before serving. The steak is out of this world."

It's like eating a cow from Mars.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Where Can You Find Roy's Chicken?

I loved Roy Rogers chicken when I was a kid. I loved it more than KFC, more than McDonalds and more than Burger King.

It was my favorite.

For some reason the clown and his playland never held a candle to a singing cowboy with a fixins bar.

Roy's is still around, but not really in my area.

So, to help me find Roy's Chicken I found this vintage placemat.

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Where indeed.

Let's look clockwise from bottom left.

On Vacation.
Roy's suggests that I bring my chicken on my vacation. That makes sense because so few tourist destinations have food.

At A Birthday Party.
Another excellent suggestion. I recommend that you slip it into your pocket when you are off to attend a birthday party. Then if the food sucks you can sneak into the bathroom and chow down.

On A Picnic.
And they remind you that fried chicken is as great as all of nature. I can't argue with that.

In Front of A VCR.
Then you can adjust the tracking, dim the lights and realize the moron before you was unkind and didn't rewind.
It's enough to make you wish you were invited to that birthday party with the lousy food.

In A Business Meeting.
Is "in church" or "in the emergency room" on this list? I get the feeling they are just naming every place they can think of.

At A Softball Game.
They tell us we can bring the Big Chiller out at a softball game. I assume they are talking about pro wrestler/softball player Sid Eudy.

At Your Neighborhood Roy Rogers.
Well, duh.

At A Family Reunion.
I am not so sure this is a reunion. It might be an intervention. After all, you have been eating way too many fried foods. It's just not good for you. Remember, moderation.

Friday, April 18, 2008

The Hollywood Brown Derby in Orlando

I love Hollywood and I love Orlando... at least Walt Disney World.

Oh, and I also love Universal.

Being that I- oh wait, I also love Sea World.

And Ripley's Believe it or Not. And that upside down building on I Drive that looks so cool even though I have never been there.

Anyway, being that I love Walt Disney World and I love Hollywood, the Brown Derby Restaurant in Disney's Hollywood Studios is one of my favorite places on earth.

First, a bit of history:

The Brown Derby was a famous restaurant chain in the "golden age" of Hollywood. The restaurant chain was famous for it's hat shaped exterior... but not the one IN Hollywood.
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The Hollywood Brown Derby, the most famous one in the chain, was not in a hat shaped building. This was done because the crazy scientologists in Hollywood were worried a giant martian might show up on earth and pick the restaurant up and wear it on his head.

The other locations didn't worry about this because derbys are "like, so last year on Mars."

The real Derbys have all closed and the one in Hollywood has been torn down and is now a parking lot.
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Now take another look at this photo from the 1980s:
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Now look again at the parking lot:
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Notice something? "Juices Fountain" seems to have been passed over by the wrecking ball.

Juices Fountains still stands, but the most famous restaurant in Hollywood now has a bunch of Toyotas parked on top of it.

Ahhh well, we always have Orlando.

So, Disney re-created the Brown Derby an it is one of the finest restaurants on Walt Disney World property.

This is what the original interior looked like:
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The most famous thing about the interior was the caricatures of celebrities that covered the walls.

Now here is a photo of the Disney recreation:
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Notice anything?

If you were straining your eyes to see if the staff of Juices Fountain was trying a hostile takeover you may have missed the minor changes Disney has made to the restaurant.

For starters, they have less caricatures and they took out some booths and replaced them with tables. Still, it's a pretty awesome replica.

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Here I am standing in front of a wall of caricatures.

Notice anything?

Yup, I have a Hagar the Horrible T-shirt. Admit it, that's pretty freakin' cool.

Here is a caricature of Roy Rogers:
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He was famous for his fried chicken restaurants. I am told he played a cowboy in a movie, too.

Here is one of Ronald Reagan:
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He was just like Roy Rogers... except with less chicken and more State of the Union speeches.

Here is Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy:
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They were a ventriloquist/dummy act. I tried for like 20 minutes to come up with a good political joke that wouldn't offend half of my readers. I couldn't.

Let's just leave it alone.

This is a cartoon of Lilo & Stitch done by the creators of the film that appears in the guest book of the restaurant:
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And Stitch is right! The food is good. I had the tilefish:
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The "real" Brown Derby was most famous for the Cobb Salad. The owner apparently created it as a midnight snack for Chinese Theater owner Sid Grauman.

Although I have an amazing amount of admiration for Sid, I hate salad so I ate the fish.

The Brown Derby's other original recipe was the Grapefruit Cake:
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I tried that, it was pretty good... although it tasted too much like grapefruit.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Hooters Air

This is one of those things that you just don't appreciate until it's gone.

Yup, Hooters had an airline, and yeah, it didn't last.

It started back in 2003 and I was very anxious to try it, but it just never fit into my travel plans.

I wish it had.

I would have got to fly on one of the six orange planes staffed by Hooter girls.

According to Wikipedia each flight consisted of two Hooter girls who would assist the traditionally dressed stewardesses.

But what does Wikipedia know? I am going to stick to my fantasy that the plane had dozens and dozens of Hooter girls and they served wings and beer non-stop.

I also imagine that a Hooter girl was piloting the plane.

I can just hear her sexy voice as she giggled something about tray tables. That must have been AWESOME.

In 2006 Hooters stopped flying.

I bet Jay Leno made some joke about flotation devices or something that night.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

My Trip to See The Cheers Robots at the Detroit Airport

Ahh, the Cheers Robots.

They were a couple of robots that looked like Norm and Cliff from Cheers. They were featured in a handful of airport bars back in the mid to late 1990s.

I visited one such bar in the Detroit airport a few years back.

It would have been somewhere between '96 and '98. I am almost certain that '97 was between '96 and '98. If so, that might have been the year.

Anyway, my memory is a bit hazy since it's been a while and I didn't commit the details to memory. I was popping jalapeƱo peppers like aspirin that day because, hey, I was in Detroit.

We didn't pick it specifically because it was Cheers, it just happened to be the first place to eat we came to. When I say "we" I mean me and the peppers. I think I held the peppers up and sang that "I'm a pepper" song that Dr. Pepper used have in their commercials.

Then some Detroit airport hobo asked me "why doesn't Dr. Pepper taste like pepper?" I thought for a moment then I attempted to strangle him with my shoelaces.

At that moment, I realized I was probably just high from the peppers.

Plus, how would a hobo get in an airport... unless he got a ticket and then got stuck in there without a place to go.

"That's a good idea for a movie" I thought. "It could star Tom Hanks."

Luckily I never followed through with that idea.

As for Cheers, one wall was completely open to the concourse, probably to lure people in.

Color me lured. In the name of the lured, I need to be colored.

They did have the bar but they didn't let any one sit there. I don't think it was as big as the television version and I think one side was against the back wall.

The rest of the layout was also different from the set. I don't remember there being any booths along the sides. They did have some tables but they also had what can be best described as bar tables. I don't remember if it was one long strip where different parties sat together or if they were broken up to seat 4 to 6 people. In either case everyone sat on the same side and the table was made up to resemble the bar. This was where we (me and the peppers) wound up sitting.

The one thing I do remember was that we sat behind and left of the robots so all we could see were their backs. At least I could see their backs. I poked the peppers eyes out during some rough horseplay.

It happens.

The menu was typical restaurant chain food. Burger, sandwiches, etc.

I think I had a burger.

Friday, March 28, 2008

The Typo Trilogy

Man, Charles Bronson was cool.

When he rose to mega success with Death Wish in 1974 he had already appeared in over 130 movies and TV shows.
He was an older guy and people just loved to see him smack young people around.

After his breakout role in Death Wish he had a role in a film called Break Out.

Hello? Are you all still here? Did anyone get stuck in that last sentence? Good.

Anyway, around the time of Death Wish he made three films I like to call...


First up was the 1974 flick Mr. Majestyk.

The tag line was "he didn't want to be a hero... until they pushed him too far."

See, after being pushed he decided he really wanted to be a hero. He then went to hero school and study the ways of the hero and eventually he was hero-esque.

In the film he plays Vince Majestyk a man who's name is spelled funny. That might be why they pushed him.

Next was the 1977 film Telefon. In this one, Bronson beats punks to death with a telephone... uh... telefon. That's what the poster implies.

Bronson is shown smashing the phone in YOUR face.

Be honest, you probably deserve it.

The tag line was "they'll do anything to stop Telefon."

I would have just unplugged it, but that is why I am no Charles Bronson.

The last film of the Typo Trilogy was 1980's Caboblanco.

The tag line was "an epic adventure on the edge of the world."

I would have just said "like Casablanca, with more o's."

Thursday, March 27, 2008

The Norm and Cliff Robots

Here is an odd little bit of history.

Back in the 1990's, around the time the Cheers left the airways the producers of the show entered into a deal that created about 50 "Cheers" bars located at Marriott hotels near major airports.

I never got to go to one of these bars, but I am not sure that they have all gone away. A Google search of "Cheers Bar" and "Marriott" does indicate that there may still be one in Sacramento, Kentucky and a few other places.

But as we have seen in the past just because a place is CALLED "Cheers" doesn't make it a Cheers Bar.

These franchises were originally designed to be a reasonable facsimile of the TV show set. A similar dark wood, a bar in the center, some Sam Malone baseball "memorabilia" on display and a couple robots.

Yup, robots. Of course, you were probably expecting such things when you read the title of this post.

It is "The Norm and Cliff Robots" if you are too lazy to scroll up.

Anyway, I have never seen these robots... but I do have a vague memory of a clip of them in the E! True Hollywood Story. I think they were choking each other.

Online, I was only able to find this tiny, little photo:

I also found out that the robots were actually named 'Bob' and 'Hank.' Some people described them as 'big stuffed mannequins' that moved very little and would act out clips from the show.

John Ratzenberger and George Wendt played Cliff and Norm. I always thought 'Wendt' should have at least one apostrophe in it.


I like that better.

John Ratzenberger and George Wend't played Cliff and Norm.

Hmmm. Now I think Ratzenberger needs... something.

How about this:

John "The Pixar Kid" Ratzenberger and George Wend't played Cliff and Norm.

No. That didn't work.

Peter Coyote and George Wend't played Cliff and Norm.

Sweet! Now, I just need George Lucas to go in and digital replace John with Peter.

Speaking of which, I gotta hurry this up, I need to hit the men's room.

So, moving along, Wend't and Coyote sued and settled out of court for 437 BILLION dollars and a truck load of mustache cream.

Or something like that.

I found some legal stuff to share with you:

197 F.3d 1284 (9th Cir. 1999)

GEORGE WENDT, an individual; JOHN RATZENBERGER, an individual, PlaintiffsAppellants,
HOST INTERNATIONAL, INC., a Delaware corporation, Defendant-Appellee, and PARAMOUNT PICTURES, CORPORATION, a Delaware corporation, Defendant-Intervenor.

No. 96-55243

U.S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit

December 28, 1999

Before: Betty B. Fletcher and Stephen S. Trott, Circuit Judges, and Bruce S. Jenkins,1 District Judge.

Order; Dissent by Judge KOZINSKI.

Prior Report: 125 F.3d 806


Betty B. Fletcher? Stephen S. Trott? Bruce S. Jenkins? Are these real people? Or pickle companies?

I don't get that one either.

Honorable Bruce S. Jenkins, Senior United States District Judge for the District of Utah, sitting by designation.

KOZINSKI, Circuit Judge, with whom Judges KLEINFELD and TASHIMA join, dissenting from the order rejecting the suggestion for rehearing en banc:

Robots again. In White v. Samsung Elecs. Am., Inc., 971 F.2d 1395, 1399 (9th Cir. 1992), we held that the right of publicity extends not just to the name, likeness, voice and signature of a famous person, but to anything at all that evokes that person's identity. The plaintiff there was Vanna White, Wheel of Fortune letter-turner extraordinaire; the offending robot stood next to a letter board, decked out in a blonde wig, Vanna-style gown and garish jewelry. Dissenting from our failure to take the case en banc, I argued that our broad application of the right of publicity put state law on a collision course with the federal rights of the copyright holder. See 989 F.2d 1512, 1517-18 (9th Cir. 1993).

The conflict in White was hypothetical, since the defendant (Samsung) did not have a license from the Wheel of Fortune copyright holder. Here it is concrete: The panel holds that licensed animatronic figures based on the copyrighted Cheers characters Norm and Cliff infringe on the rights of the actors who portrayed them. As I predicted, White's voracious logic swallows up rights conferred by Congress under the Copyright Act.

Oh boy do I remember the summer I spent with the Vanna White robot. I still have microchip scars on the back of my neck.

My favorite line in that was:
White's voracious logic swallows up rights conferred by Congress

Man, that sounds sexy.

Defendant Host International decided to tap into this keg of goodwill. After securing a license from Paramount, the copyright holder, Host opened a line of Cheers airport bars. To help get patrons into a Cheers mood, Host populated the bars with animatronic figures4 resembling Norm and Cliff: One is fat; the other is dressed as a mailman.5

That sounds sexy, too.

The brief than drones on for a handful of paragraphs. Nothing else is sexy about the brief... other than the word 'brief'.

Posted by Guy Hutchinson

Guy Hutchinson
Guy Hutchinson

Friday, March 14, 2008

More Movies Not On DVD

Man, DVDs are everywhere! Do you remember the days of VHS? Back then you really had to look for a place that sold VHS tapes. Today every single grocery store, tobacco shop or cobbler has a nice display of tobacco products. No wait, VHS tapes... I mean DVDs.

These movies, however, have not made the jump to DVD:

Skidoo- This is a bizarre film. Jackie Gleason plays this Archie Bunker character and he ends up in jail for some reason. In jail he tries LSD. The main drug dealer is played by Groucho Marx. His name is God. Mickey Rooney, Caesar Romero and a few other famous people stop by.

Club Fed- This also has something to prison. It stars Pauly from the Rocky movies and Sherman Hemsley

The Chicken Chronicles- This film is about a teen-aged Steve Guttenberg trying to lose his virginity. I imagine it ends with him hanging himself from a shower rod.

Full Moon High- This is basically Teen Wolf but made a few years before that. Also, Ed McMahon plays the father of the teen wolf.

The Fish that Saved Pittsburgh- This is a late 70's basketball film starring Dr. J, Kareem Paulula Abdul Jabar and Wilt Chamberlain. The 'fish' in the title has something to do with astrology.

Penn & Teller Get Killed- This is a fun film where everyone's favorite magic makers get offed. The film was directed by Arthur Penn which, as a kid, I thought might be some kind of combination of Penn and Teller's first names. I was very impressed to find out they also directed Bonnie & Clyde.

Dr. Death: Seeker of Souls- This horror flick marks the last appearance of Stooge Moe Howard. Moe pokes the devil in the eye and then hits him with a banana cream pie. The devil then rips off Moe's head and wears it as a hat. Hysterical stuff.

Higher Ground- John Denver plays a cop. No foolin'.

Skateboard: The Movie- This skateboard film follows the L.A. Wheels skating team (one of the gang is played by skate legend Tony Alva) as they rise to prominence.

Freewheelin’- This is a dramatized story of the life of skateboarder Stacey Peralta. Stacey plays himself... which I guess means he is a lazy, self centered jerk. As sappy tunes play he rides his skateboard along side his super bland, skinny girlfriend. He has a horrible job as a bus boy where SHOCKINGLY he is asked to clean tables! He complains constantly until some guy from Australia calls him and says "Hey Mate, come to Austrailia... first class!" Then he quits school ditches his girlfriend and the credits roll. Oh yeah, spoiler alert.

Rad- One of the best films NOT on DVD, this is the story of Cru Jones and his quest to ride Helltrack. It's kind of the "Rocky" of bike race movies (so much so that 'Adrian' Talia Shire plays Cru's mom.) It features one of my all time favorite line... when Cru does a 360 on his bike the announcer proclaims "Oh my word! A back flip! Hulk Hogan eat your heart out." I wish at that point the camera cut to a sobbing Hulk Hogan, but instead we see Hollywood Mike Miranda wipe out again.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

A Bunch of Movies NOT On DVD

When you pursue the shelves of your local supermarket, I bet you probably find yourself wondering: WHY DON'T THEY MAKE SPAGHETTIOS WITH SAUSAGE?

Me too.

Here are some movies that are not available on DVD...

Brewster Mcloud- This was a 1970's era Robert Altman flick about a weird kid who lived inside the Astrodome and dreamed of flying. It's an odd film featuring strange things like an old man riding down the highway (in an out of control wheelchair) and the lady who played Olive Oil in the Popeye film doing something.

Buy & Cell- Roddy Piper, Randall "Tex" Cobb and the 'beep boop beep' guy from Police Academy star in this piece of 1980s cinematic fast food. It has something to do with convicts making money in the stock market.

Cool as Ice- Vanilla Ice does a good James Dean impression... minus the bisexuality.

Doug’s First Movie- The animated Disney cartoon character appears in his first film.... minus the bisexuality.

Comrades of Summer- A favorite film here on, this flick stars Joe Mantegna as a guy who has to coach a bunch of Russian ball players. In the end they all find a deeper love than they ever knew... minus the bisexuality.

The Garbage Picking Field Goal Kicking Philadelphia Phenomenon- This film stars Tony Danza as a garbage man who becomes a Philadelphia Eagle. It is loosely based on the dude that Marky Mark played in Invincible... minus the... ah never mind.

The Gong Show Movie- Chuck Barris plays himself in a quirky film about a quirky show.
You know what would have been funny? Remember in Back to the Future when Marvin Berry was playing at the dance? What if it was Marvin Barris! Then he could call his cousin and say "Yo Chuck, it's Marvin... Marvin Barris! You know that new sound you're looking for? Well listen to this!" Then they cut to Marty McFly, but instead of playing 'Johnny B. Good' he is just banging a big Chinese gong.

Hamburger: The Motion Picture- This one is about a hamburger college. The back of the VHS box said something like "Russel has a beef. He's in a real pickle. He has a juicy college fund, but he needs to stop the bull and get his buns in gear and go to Buster Burger University. If he can cut the mustard and impress the big cheese he will get to tomato his meat patty and pass the mayonnaise and sesame seed bun, double quarter pounder... meat, meat, ketchup."

The Kid with the 200 I.Q.; The Kid from Left Field; The Kid with the Broken Halo- These three films are sort of, kind of a trilogy. Gary Coleman and Robert Guillaume star in all three and the word "The Kid" is in the title of each. My favorite is The Kid from Left Field where Gary plays for the San Diego Padres and Ed McMahon sits behind a desk and yells at people.

The Phynx- This is a dumb film with an all star cast. With stars as varied as James Brown, Richard Pryor, Ed Sullivan, Joe Louis and Colonel Sanders; this tells a story so convoluted I don't remember it. I do remember I was eating some chicken fajita jerky when I watched it. Man, that was some good jerky.

Rubin & Ed- A bizarre road comedy starring Howard Hessman and Crispin Glover, this flick is responsible for one of the oddest moments in TV history.
During a promotional appearance on the David Letterman late night show, Glover showed up in costume and in character. He proceeded to give a bizarre interview that made some people think he was on drugs... but watch this film and you will see that he was just being Rubin Farr.

The Singing Fool- This was Al Jolson's follow up to The Jazz Singer and was more successful than that film. It featured more talking and the famous song "I'm Sittin' on Top of the World."

Scavenger Hunt- This is the first film I remember seeing in a movie theater. I saw it in Early 1980 and I remember laughing and laughing. It featured a pretty stellar cast (including Arnold Schwarzenegger, Tony Randall, Richard Mulligan, Vincent Price and Scatman Corothers.) It was a semi-remake of It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. It features both slapstick and more nuanced types of humor... but I just remember liking that there was a scene with a toilet name Maurice.

Hollywood Hot Tubs- This 1980's jiggle-fest was most notable because they altered the Hollywood Sign (to say Hollyweed) for the opening scene. Other than that it mostly features girls in hot tubs.

This just scratches the surface of the films NOT on DVD. But, perhaps we shouldn't scratch too deeply. It might get infected.

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Where Dennis the Menace Lives

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This is from a Dennis the Menace coloring book.

See, that is his house... and up top is his room. Down at the bottom is his dog, but that's not labeled.

And, at the bottom right is Dennis' disembodied head.

I like this one. It shows us so much about the "The Menace" family. They have a centrally located fireplace and they run it when leaves are on the trees, so they either live in a cold climate or Mr. The Menace has some nefarious documents that he must burn.

We also learn that they have some absurdly large amount of windows. No wonder Dennis carries a slingshot.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

The Walk of Fame: Vol. C, Part 6

George M. Cohan MP

Congressional Medal Winner and writer of such songs as Yankee Doodle Dandy, Cohan worked as an writer, composer and occasionally as an actor.

Arthur Cohn MP

Swiss born Cohn has produced 18 films over the past 40 years. Most of his films have been art house flicks such as 1995's Two Bits.
If he decides to produce Armageddon II or a film starring a talking monkey, I might be interested in learning more about him.

Claudette Colbert MP

Star of many motion pictures including It Happened One Night and the 1934 version of Cleopatra.

Natalie Cole Rec

Famed singer who, in 1975, was the first black singer to win the "Best New Artist."

Nat King Cole Rec
Nat King Cole TV

Famed singer who starred on TV's "The Nat King Cole Show." His real name was Nathaniel Adams Coles. Technically he was not a king.

Constance Collier MP

As an actress, Constance appeared in over two dozen films between 1919 and 1949. One of her most notable films was Alfred Hitchcock's The Rope. She was a playwright with a handful of titles to her name.

William Collier MP

Appeared in dozens of movies between the mid teens and early 1940s. He was usually billed fifth or sixth below big stars such as Bob Hope in Thanks For the Memory and James Cagney in Yankee Doodle Dandy.

Gary Collins TV

A TV staple even today, Gary Collins has hosted many talk shows and acted in roles on everything from Fantasy Island to Jag.

Joan Collins MP

An award winning actress with a long career, highlighted best by her work on Dynasty. She also replaced Elizabeth Taylor in Cleopatra, when Liz became ill, only to have Liz replace her when she recovered.
She did get her revenge years later when she replaced Taylor in the role of Pearl Slaghoople in The Flintstones film series.

Michael Collins TV

Here is a unique one! Michael Collins was an Apollo 11 astronaut. He and his fellow crew members are honored with a special moon shaped "star" on Hollywood Boulevard.

Phil Collins REC

The Genesis and solo rock star, Phil Collins has had seven number one hit songs in the United States... despite looking like a grown up Charlie Brown.

Bud Collyer Radio
born Clayton Johnson Heermance Jr., Bud was a very famous radio host who later became a TV star as the host of
Beat the Clock
They tried to revive that show decades later, but the concept of "beating" a clock seemed too politically incorrect... so they just gave the clock a "time out."
(Sorry, I let Bazooka Joe help write jokes on this one.)

Ronald Colman MP
Ronald Colman TV

Honored in TWO categories, Ronald was a British born TV and film actor known for his rich voice. He hosted the TV show Four Star Playhouse and was seen on the movie screen playing the popular character Bulldog Drummond.
He also played the voice of Donald Duck, a Donald Duck look-alike and Donald Duck's Internal Monologue in three different cartoon. Each time his deep voice was used as a humorous contrast to Donald Duck's regular voice.

Jerry Colonna Radio

A comic member of the Bob Hope radio show, Jerry was also seen in many of Bob's comedy specials sporting his trademark handlebar mustache. Jerry is perhaps best known to today's audiences as the voice of the March Hare in the Disney animated film Alice In Wonderland.

The Walk of Fame: Vol. C, Part 7

Perry Como Radio
Perry Como TV
Betty Compon MP
Heinie Conklin MP
Chuck Connors TV
Hans Conreid TV
John Conte TV
Bill Conti MP
Jack Conway MP
Tom Conway TV
Tim Conway TV
Jackie Coogan MP
Clyde Cook MP
Donald Cook MP
Sam Cooke Rec
Alistair Cooke TV
Spade Cooley Radio
Alice Cooper Rec
Gary Cooper MP
Jackie Cooper MP
Jeanne Cooper TV
Meriam C. Cooper MP
David Copperfield LT
Wendell Corey TV
Roger Corman MP
Don Cornelius TV
Don Cornell Rec
Charles Correll Radio
Ricardo Cortez MP
Bill Cosby TV
Pierre Cossette TV
Dolores Costello MP
Helene Costello MP
Lou Costello MP
Lou Costello Radio
Lou Costello TV
Maurice Costello MP
Kevin Costner MP
Joseph Cotten MP
Jerome Cowan TV
Wally Cox TV
Buster Crabbe TV
Broderick Crawford TV
Broderick Crawford MP
Joan Crawford MP
Laird Cregar MP
Richard Crenna MP
Laura Hope Crews MP
Scatman Criothers TV
Donald Crisp MP
John Cromwell MP
Richard Cromwell MP
Richard Crooks Rec
Stills & Nash Crosby Rec
Bing Crosby MP
Bing Crosby Radio
Bing Crosby Rec
Bob Crosby TV
Bob Crosby Radio
Norm Crosby TV
Milton Cross Radio
Andrae Crouch Rec
Tom Cruise MP
Frank Crumit Radio
Celia Cruz Rec
James Cruze MP
Billy Crystal MP
Xavier Cugart TV
Xavier Cugat Rec
George Cukor MP
Bill Cummingham Radio
Constance Cummings MP
Irving Cummings MP
Robert Cummings MP
Robert Cummings TV
Alan Curtis MP
Tony Curtis MP
Jamie Lee Curtis MP
Michael Curtiz MP

Friday, February 15, 2008

Mr. Roper flashing gang signs

Mr. Roper is one of my all time favorite TV characters. He was so good that I might just prefer him OVER Don Knotts as Mr. Ferly. It's a tough call.

Wow. I am torn.

On one hand you have Don Knotts making bug eyes at the camera and on the other hand you have Norman Fell doing that limp-wristed motion and calling Jack "Tinkerbell."

They even did an episode where both the Ropers and Mr. Ferly appeared. It must have been amazing to be there for the Roper/Ferly summit.

Outside of Threes Company Don Knotts wins hands down... but on that show... it's so close.

I'm stalling here. I am just trying to fill space.

See, I have three images for you and they don't even need any text. This just makes me feel like I did something other than post a couple pictures.


What do other people do to waste time?

Top ten lists! Remember when David Letterman used to do those top ten lists? I am sure he stopped that years ago since the whole idea just reeks of 1993. I bet he stopped around 1994 or 95.

I also bet his show is still funny and creative just like it used to be back then.

(I live in a world of denial.)

But, when the top ten lists became a phenomena all the sudden they were ripped off everywhere. I even have an unauthorized "top ten list" board game.

Heres my top ten list:

Top 10 Things Overheard at the Roper/Ferly Summit:

10. Why would I order ham... I have Mr. Roper right here!

9. Ferly? Is that some kind of muppet?

8. Roper (rope her)? I hardly touched her!

7. The secret to the bug eyes... it's HGH!

6. Buttafouco

5. Actually, Jack Tripper is straight... it's John Ritter that's gay.

4. Janet is always game for a roll in the hay... if you know what I mean.

3. Do you know what I mean?

2. Roll in the hay... sex... you know?


Anyway, I found an episode of Family Feud that Norman Fell appeared on. The episode was some "Heroes vs. Villains" showdown and Norman Fell was one of the villains.

I never really though of him as a villian... until I noticed he was signaling his homies.

LOOK AT THAT! He is making some gesture to his fellow villains!


After the show I am sure Norman did a drive by at Suzanne Somers house.