Thursday, December 02, 2004

Super Hero: Peace Fighter

Once again, I took a trip to the dollar store and came back with a bizarre bootleg action figure.

Produced in China, he is Super Hero.

That's his name.

Pretty bold choice for what has to be the ugliest figure ever produced (including the Paul Giamatti Planet of the Apes figure)

As is the case with most 'made in China' toys, the package is full of unauthorized use of copyrighted photos. A photo of George Clooney as Batman, Alicia Silverstone as Bat Girl and drawings of Superman and Wonder Woman are all on the card.

Also on the package are the words: PEACE FIGHTER!!! SUPER HERO!!!

Peace fighter? Does that mean he fights FOR peace or he simply fights PEACE? Actually, the simple act of fighting disrupts any peace that existed, so he probably is fighting peace.

At the bottom of the package is a choking warning, a recycle logo and a bizarre logo I had never noticed before.

What is THAT supposed to mean? It looks like it is saying 'Snorks are only allowed in groups of 4 or more.'

Well, that IS a good policy.

Looking back, I noticed this on a few of the other toys I have bought on the dollar store. I guess it means that it is not for 0-3 year old children.

I just wonder why they think children look like Snorks.

Before I EVEN removed Super Hero from the package I found a problem. If you look closely at the photo of him in the package, you can see that his cape extends BEYOND the plastic bubble on the card.

Yes, Super Hero's cape was GLUED to the card.

So, I took him out of the package, tearing his cape and removing his strange weapon.

I am not sure WHAT that is supposed to be. Is it a cross bow? Is it a sickle? Is it a new pizza cutter from Ginsu?

Who cares. I lost complete interest in that when I realized his other weapon. Super Hero has a small button on his back, when you press it something magical happens.

A little light turns on above his belt.

Imagine the peace fighting possibilities.

Villain: What are you going to do to stop me?
Super Hero: With my smoldering belly button of FIRE!
Villain: My eyes!!!! Arrrrgh!

Oh Villain, will you EVER learn.

The photos really can not do justice to this figure. He is REALLY ugly, his hands and boots are spray painted, in an INCREDIBLY sloppy manner. As a matter of fact, they are only painted on ONE side.

His face is so poorly painted that I felt sad just looking at him.

It's a good thing they keep the Snorks away, they have enough problems without Super Hero.

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous12/02/2004

    Ooooh cool animation. Isn't Superhero wearing the OLD superman logo?