Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Baby Huey's Great Easter Adventure Part 4

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Words can hurt.

Men have emotions.

Lies make baby Jesus cry.

These things all ran through my mind as I read comments claiming that I had never even SAW Baby Huey's Great Easter Adventure.

It is with a heavy heart that I bring you this information:

The Baby Huey's Great Easter Adventure IMDB message board is WICKED COOL!

Sure, there is only 2 posts and one is idiotic. BUT, I love the other one.
Take a look:

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"What is wrong with this world" is the question posed by Fitzbail.

A fine question, indeed.

There are many answers, but I would have to say 'poverty.' Or Star Jones.

Fitzbail follows up his question with a run-on sentence that starts off as a question but becomes something else entirely.

"WHY is there even something like this made it just isn't right When i got my tape for Christmas when i was 4 it was okay but when it turned 16 i burned it."

Fitzbail should be angry. What kind of parents give an Easter video for Christmas?

Juicebox_maven finds problems with much more than Fitzbail's parental gift giving habits.

"your math doesnt work. if the movie came out in 1999, and you were four, then you would be 11 now, not 16."


Plus, you should never burn video cassettes. They give off toxic fumes. If one needs a ritualistic birthday burning, might I suggest an old rubber tire.

Elsewhere on the IMDB is a page devoted to actor extraordinaire Paul Walker. It has a much more interesting message board.

Recent topics have included:
"I love the way he..."
and the perennial favorite:

In case you are wondering, a reader heard that Walker told Access Hollywood that he was having gay relations with the guy who played Urkel on 'Family Matters.'

Here is some info from the trivia section of his page:

Has a daughter by an ex-girlfriend.

Daughter, Meadow (b. 28 January 1999)

By "ex-girlfriend" they might mean "Urkel" and "daughter" they might mean "fulfilling, yet gay, relationship."

Graduated from Village Christian High School (located in Sun Valley, Ca) class of 1991.

Chosen by People magazine as one of the 50 Most Beautiful Persons in the world in 2001.

He doesn't like to watch himself on screen and will only watch his own movies once.

I only watch them once, too.

Describes himself as a "total gear head" and he owns the Nissan Skyline R34 which he used in 2 Fast 2 Furious (2003)

Is a keen traveller and has visited countries such as India, Fiji and Costa Rica

Gee wiz! He sure seems keen!
Has a dog named Zero.

What a silly name.
Has 2 brothers: Caleb and Cody; 1 sister: Ashlie.

I take it back. Zero is not silly.

His grandfather William Walker (aka. "Irish" Billy Walker) was a professional boxer.

I can't find any info on "Irish" Billy Walker (other than in other Paul Walker bios) but I can relate. My paternal grandfather was a pro golfer. He didn't have the nickname "Irish" however.

I guess he may have.

But I doubt it. He wasn't Irish.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Baby Huey's Great Easter Adventure Part 3

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Alright, let me lay it down for ya. In this film a small child meets a giant baby chicken named Baby Huey. Huey can't control his own strength and constantly breaks things. He plays baseball pretty good, too.

There are a handful of bad guys in the film who want to capture Baby Huey. OH GOD!


Happy place, Sweetie, happy place. Go to your happy place.

Ahhh. Let me share a few photos of my recent trip to Universal Studios.

I stayed at the Hard Rock Hotel for a few nights. The hotel is great, it features one of Elvis' guns. That Elvis, what a nut-case!

Staying there also gives you the Universal "Express" line access. It rocks (although I got into a bit of an argument with an old lady who had not heard of Express and felt I was cutting the line.)

OLD LADY:You are cutting the line!
SWEETIE: No, I'm not. But, you ARE cutting a line... the line to my heart.
OLD LADY: Wanna make out?

So, we made out in the back of Scooby Doo's van. I will never forget you Bessie!

Here's a photo of the Madagascar Penguins and Lion.
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Here I am in front of the Men in Black ride. Do the towers look familiar? They are replicas of the World's Fair Towers.
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You may recall I meringued under the REAL towers last summer.

Over by the MIB ride I spotted Doc Brown or at least a 20 year-old dude pretending to be him:
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He was funny. He said the word "time" or "future" in every sentence.

It reminded me of how, on the Flintstones every guest star had the word "stone" or "rock" worked into their name.

Thinking of the Flintstones made me laugh and laugh.

Doc seemed confused as to why I was laughing so much and he left.

So, I bought a Flintstone's hat and stood by the Delorean:
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Here is a photo of the Hollywood/Beverly Hills area:
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Where is Ida Lupino's star?? Where is it? I couldn't find Johnny Grant so I asked Barney.
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He didn't know and he smelled like an old dishrag.

Here is a photo of me with Zorro and uh... Catherine Zeta Jones.
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Nearby was the goddess of the screen, Marilyn Monroe.
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I spent a whole lot of time in Island's of Adventure's Jurassic Park.

I even played with a machine that showed me what I would look like as a dinosaur:

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Pretty handsome, huh?

Imagine the old ladies I could score with if I looked like that!

Baby Huey's Great Easter Adventure Part 2

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Sometimes in life we repress memories. Bad things happen and we just don't want to talk about them. So instead we babble endlessly about Flintstones' guest star's "stone" inspired name parodies.

At least I do.

The shock and horror that is Baby Huey's Great Easter Adventure has been pushed to the back of my brain.

Through proper psychiatric counseling I have been able to remember many of the details surrounding this movie.

1. Baby Huey tried to sleep in the top bunk in the bed and it collapsed. I was horrified. Was he hurt? Was the child sleeping under him DEAD?

I am sorry. I can't go on with this. It's much too painful. Instead, here is a list of nicknames that the cast of Baby Huey's Great Easter Adventure could use if they are ever cast as themselves on The Flinstones or The Jetsons.

Maureen McCormick: The former Marcia Brady plays "Mom" in Baby Huey. On The Flinstones she would Maureen McChalkstone.

David Leisure: Best known as the lying Joe Isuzu, David is a charming father figure in Baby Huey. On The Jetsons he would be called David Lesaurora (for the solar phenomenon called Aurora.)

The rest of the cast could not get Hanna Barbara to return their calls.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

The Walk of Fame

Welcome to's look at The Walk of Fame in fabulous Hollywood California.
The Hollywood Walk of Fame is a series of bronze plaques imbedded in pink and black squares that run across Hollywood Blvd. (from Gower Street to La Brea Avenue) and on Vine Street (from Yucca Street to Sunset Boulevard.)
The stars on the Walk honor not just movie stars, but radio, TV, & theater performers, directors, singers, magicians, and just about anyone remotely connected to Hollywood.
The stars are given in five categories: Motion Pictures, Television, Recording (singers, songwriters, etc.), Radio and Live Theater
The Walk started in 1960, and since then, over 2,000 stars have been added. Contrary to popular assumption, not all the stars are those of superstars. Many of them are of people that you have never heard of.
In this ongoing series we look at EACH and EVERY person who received this honor. You have probably heard of 2 or 3 of the people listed below. Others will sound vaguely familiar. Many will be completely unknown to everyone born after 1930. Hopefully, after you read about them you will remember them forever.

George M. Cohan to Jerry Colonna

Buddy Clark to Iron Eyes Cody

Ilka Chase to Ina Claire

Stan Chambers to Chevy Chase

Nancy Carroll to John Chambers

James Caan to Madeleine Carroll

Vanessa Brown to Spring Byington

Elton Britt to Tom Brown

John Bowers to Bernie Brillstein

Joan Blondell to Clara Bow

Ernani Bernardi to Mel Blanc

William Bendix to Irving Berlin

Richard Basehart to Robert Benchley

Tallulah Bankhead to Billy Barty

Lauren Bacall to Anne Bancroft

Eve Arden to Lew Ayres

Eddie Albert to Army Archerd

Bud Abbott to Licia Albanese

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Baby Huey's Great Easter Adventure

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Life is grand, aint it?

I thank god, everyday, that I live in these United States. A land of freedom, a land of opportunity and a land of Baby Huey's Great Easter Adventure.

It almost brings a tear to my eye.

A few weeks ago I was in line at a CVS drug store. The line was not moving. Customer after customer got to the front of the line and then proceeded to spend 5 minutes looking for their CVS card.

So, in a fit of boredom I walked away from the line. I set down my would be purchases (12 wrestling magazines) and sauntered toward the door.

Then, mid-saunter, I saw it.


Good lord, that story was anti-climactic.

Anyway I am sure you want to know all about this cinematic masterpiece, so I will answer all the questions I assume you would ask.

QUESTION: Is this a real movie? Or is it some kind of sing a long video.
ME: Yup. It's a real full length movie, with real actors.

QUESTION: Real actors?!? Like who?
ME: The guy who played Squiggy on Laverne and Shirley.

QUESTION: Really? And who were the real actors?
ME: Funny.

QUESTION: So, what was the name of the guy who played Squiggy?
ME: David L. Lander.

QUESTION: Lander? Not Landers? That's odd. Doesn't a name like Lander demand to be pluralized?
ME: I think it does.

QUESTION: What would his name be if he was on The Flintstones?
ME: Probably David L. Landstone.

QUESTION: Yeah. That would be cool. What about when Rock Hudson was on the Flintstones. Did they change his name to Rock Hudstone? Or was the "rock" part enough?
ME: I don't think he was on the Flintstones. Maybe you are thinking of Stoney Curtis.

QUESTION: Maybe. Remember Ann Margrock?
ME: Yeah, she was great.

QUESTION: Remember when Stone Phillips was on?
ME: No, I don't think he was on.

QUESTION: What about Sharon Stone?
ME: No. But in the Flintstones movie Halle Berry played a character named Sharon Stone.

QUESTION: Really?!? Wow. Remember when The Rock was on The Flintstones?
ME: No, he wasn't.

QUESTION: What about Rocky McStoneyrock?
MEL: Now, you just made that up.

QUESTION: Hey! Who's Mel?
ME: That was a typo, I meant to type "me."

MEL: No you didn't! Why are you so ashamed of me?
ME: I don't know. I just am.

MEL: I have a question about the Baby Huey Movie.
ME: Shoot.

MEL: What happens in it? Is there any hot chicks in it?
ME: Not really. Marcia Brady is in it, but she's really old now. It's a cute little movie about a boy who befriends a guy in a giant chicken costume.

MEL: Why didn't you spend your money on one of those "Girls Gone Wild" videos instead? What are you a retard?
ME: No.

MEL: Dude, they go really, really wild.
ME: Wasn't there a movie called the Rugrats Go Wild?

MEL: Yeah, but they didn't really go wild. I think All Dogs Go to Heaven once went wild.
ME: I'll have to check that out.

MEL: Alright, take it easy. Remember the Mel-man is with you!
ME: Sure.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Party with Ghandi

Sometimes very well meaning ideas come out so ridiculous you can't help but consider them satire. Case in point is this coloring book page.

It depicts Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Saraswali (the Hindu goddess) and Mother Theresa.

That is one killer party.

Also, it looks as if MLK and Saraswali are an "item." Saraswali is shooting Mother Theresa a look that says "Stay away from my man!"

Gandhi on the other hand is practicing some kind of hand shake with Martin Luther King, undaunted by the fact that King is wearing sneakers with a suit.
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Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Eating with Shamu

I just flew in from Orlando and boy are my arms tired!

Get it?

Whoo hoo! I flew! Arm pain!

Wocka wocka!

Before I started my flight I saw a billboard for an amazing talk station:
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Bin Laden in the morning, Kim Jong Il mid-days and Saddam Hussien drives you home.

But I didn't fly all the way to Orlando JUST to look at billboards. No, not this time.

This time I went to Sea World.

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At Sea World I attended the "Breakfast with Shamu and Crew" at the Seafire Inn.

At the door you see posters advertising an appearance by Jacques Feudelemer. I overheard another tourist say his last name is French for "full of crap." Can any one verify this?


Was it Jacques? Or the tourist?

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Here is one of the stars of the show. He's a penguin. I asked him if he was in March of the Penguins and he pretended to march. Then I asked him if he was in Madagascar and he laughed. Then I asked if he was in the film The Pebble and the Penguin and he punched me in the ribs.

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The show starts just a few minutes after breakfast is served so there wasn't much time to get food if you wanted to catch the whole show. This was a buffet, but not a self-serve buffet. Servers stood on the other side of the glass and prepared your plate.

Service was slow and many people were waiting in line long after the show had started.

I didn't really mind because I was hiding from that penguin.

Sadly, once I got it, the food wasn't very good.

The show starred "Team Seafire" which consisted of Shamu and 4 or 5 of his friends.

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I posed for a picture with this dolphin. Dolphins are amazingly smart. This one slipped me her phone number.

The show also starred Jacques:

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Yes, he has a mullet, but remember, this is Florida.

The show was a whole lot of fun. Jacques stood on stage and the characters stood in the audience for most of the show.

On the stage, a screen played video clips and featured other characters interacting with Jacques.

The basic plot was:

Jacques is scarred of the water after losing a friend at Sea... World. (And you though MY jokes were lame!) His friends are trying to encourage him to get back in the water, because if he doesn't they lose their charter.

I was more worried for this bird who looked like he was suffering from the bird flu.
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The plot was really incidental, however. Really, the show consisted of jokes and songs and lots of audience interaction.

By "audience interaction" I mean lots of women stuffing pancakes in their face and saying to their husbands "Oh god I hope he doesn't try and talk to ME!"

I vaguely remember Shamu doing a monologue about the war in Afghanistan, but I do have a habit of "zoning out" at theses things.
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The actor that played Jacques was very, very funny.

There was a family there with a kid that was celebrating his birthday. However, he was terrified of Jacques. Every time he came within ten feet of him, he cried.

So, he sang "Happy Birthday" from across the restaurant with his back to the kid and (in his words) "a much more handsome" customer lip-sync the song.

O.K., the little boy was me. And, I wouldn't really say I was "scared" as much I was "disturbed" by him.

And yes, that other dude was handsome.

After the show is over you get a final photo-op with almost THE ENTIRE CAST:

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Overall, the show was great but the food was below average. It certainly is aimed at kids, but as they say "you are only young once, but you can be immature forever."

However, they also say not to lick pennies and that is sooo much fun!