Thursday, June 30, 2005

The Real Gilligan's Island Season 2

SPOILER ALERT: I will reveal the ending of the reality show 'The Real Gilligan's Island' in this article.
SPOILER ALERT #2: I will also reveal the real name of the actor who played Ralph Malph on Happy Days.

I thought since I did a recap of the first season of The Real Gilligan's Island it would be a good idea to do the same for this season.

First off, this season was superior to season one in every way. Really!

The setup was the same as last season. Two teams of seven were "stranded" on an island. Each team had a "Gilligan", a "Professor" etc. They would each be eliminated in a series of competitions, and then keep competing until there is only one castaway left.

The winner gets $250,000. Last season it was money and a Ford Mustang. This season it was just money. By the fifth season it will just be a pat on the back and parking validation.

Let's take a look at the competitions:

Crazy Skipper vs. Boring Skipper: In a match that involved scooping buckets of water out of a boat, craziness prevailed.

Love Professor vs. In Love Professor: The Love Professor is a radio love expert. The other Professor just kept making out with Mary Ann. The Love Professor beat The In Love Professor by hitting a toy submarine with a coconut.

Mean Mary Ann vs. Mary Ann With a Mole on Her Forehead: I wouldn't mention the mole except they mentioned it on the show a few times and now it's all I can think of. The other Mary Ann just moped and complained a lot. She is mean. I know this is true because I saw it on a reality TV show. Mean Mary Ann won a laundry competition to eliminate the other Mary Ann.

Silly Name Mr. Millionaire vs. Robbing the Cradle Mr. Millionaire: This was the best change the series made. Last season the Millionaires competed as a couple. This year they had to compete separately.
One Millionaire was named Mr. Bounce. They kept calling him Millionaire Bounce. This made me laugh because it sounds like a new P. Diddy dance craze.
The other one kept insisting he was robbing the cradle.
Unfortunately they did not compete in a cradle robbing competition. In the end Silly Name Mr. Millionaire won a golf competition.

Cradle Robbed Miss Millionaire vs. Mrs. Millionaire
Even though the theme song said "and their wives" only one set of millionaires was married. The other was engaged (but not engaging, oddly.) The wives went head to head in a gross food competition. The one who had been robbed from a cradle won. Her fiancée didn't. This broke up the Millionaire couple.

Angie Everheart vs. Erika Eleniak: Angie cut her hand and had to drop out early on in the show.

Blonde Gilligan vs. Diabetic Gilligan: Blonde Gilligan was INSANE. Still he lost in fishing competition. The other Gilligan was a sneaky bastard. I shall model my life after him.

When show came down to the remaining seven castaways each had a vote. Unlike last season there was one of EACH Millionaire couple. You may remember that last years Millionaire couple used their TWO votes to eliminate all the strong competition and win the show. It made for very dull and anti-climatic TV. This year every vote was a little surprising.

After a few nights of voting the final three castaways were:
Diabetic Gilligan
Skipper "Crazy Charlie"
and Erika Eleniak

The final competition was to find a shovel, dig up a box and build a fire (believe me it was much more exciting than it sounds.)

I was on the edge of my seat and cheering as Skipper Crazy Charlie got rescued. It was one of the greatest reality TV shows I have ever seen.

But, then again, I hate reality TV.

Oh yeah, Donny Most played Ralph Malph. I almost forgot about him (just like all of America.)


  1. Congratulations to Crazy Charlie. I hope they do a season 3!

  2. Anonymous7/01/2005

    Oh, Mr. Charlie thinks he is so good but I don't think he will be so good when Don Muracco drops an coconut on him. FUJI-STYLE.

  3. Anonymous7/01/2005

    I watched this show, I was cheering for Mary Ann, I thought she was HOT not mean, Sweetie.

  4. "This made me laugh because it sounds like a new P. Diddy dance craze." This made me laugh out loud!

  5. Anonymous7/01/2005

    Hello from the "blonde" Gilligan! Yes, I am insane but Charlie was Crazy!
    It was a great time.
    Drop by my homepage at

  6. You know what would be AWESOME?? If the island wasn't populated with reality-tv types, but dinosaurs. And Evel Knievel washed up on the island after he tried to jump over the Atlantic Ocean, but fell short and landed on the island. And Knievel got up and looked around and saw an island ruled by Dinosaurs and all he could think was, "This makes no sense. An entire island ruled by dinosaurs? I could see an island were dinosaurs had some say, or perhaps parlimentary representation. But ruled? That's insane." Then he made a launch pad out a bamboo tree and was about to jump over a T-Rex when we found Wilson the Volleyball on the island. But Wilson was acting like a jerk, so Knievel left him there to be eaten by a terracdale. Then Knievel jumped over the T-Rex and sailed so far, he landed in Spain.
    Oh man that would be SSSWWEEEETTTT!!

  7. I was going to watch this the other night, but I couldn't resist the "Lizzie McGuire-athon" on the Disney Channel.

  8. Gene Hackamn is so cool the cast of "The Real Giligan's Island" sits down on a couch in a comfy Hollywood Hills mansion with a big bowl of popcorn and an 2-liter bottle of Dr. Pepper and watches him.