Friday, June 25, 2004

Talk, talk, talk

I hate when people talk during a movie. I'm not just talking about people that whisper to the person next to them, or say 'bless you' to someone that sneezes. I am talking about people talking!

When I saw X-Files there was a woman that HAD to be heard. She was not going to sit by and watch the X-Files. She wanted to be a PART of the X-Files.
Now, she could have went to Hollywood 16 months earlier and auditioned for a part. Or she could have gone to Vancouver 9 months earlier and signed up to be an extra. She could have even broke into the projection booth the night before and edited some footage of her into the film.
But, she didn't do any of these. My guess is that she didn't realize she had to be IN X-Files until after the movie started. So, there was only one thing for her to do. TALK.
At the end of the movie, when they decide to re-open the X-Files (oh yeah, SPOILER ALERT) she shouted:


That's right! She shouted:


This was probably the greatest moment of her life. Someday, many years from now, her grandkids will be watching TV, and the X-Files will come on and she will say:

Grandma was in X-Files, kids. Grandma said OH SNAP! X-FILES BACK ON.

Then they will put her in a nice home where she will get the attention she needs from trained professionals.
But, as of now. She is on the loose. I like to think of her sometimes. She is out at another theater, ruining someone's movie.

She is not the only movie ruin-er I have come across. My favorite was 'Nice Shot Guy.' I was watching GO in a half empty theater and someone in the film got shot (oh yeah, SPOILER ALERT) and this guy shouted:

Nice shot.

Nice shot.

I didn't just throw the second nice shot in there for effect, that is what he said. See, 'Nice Shot Guy' shouted "Nice shot" after the person in the film was shot. But, no one in the half empty theater reacted.
'Nice Shot Guy' figured we must not have heard him. After all 'Nice shot' is about the wittiest thing a person could shout at film depicting someone being shot. So assuming he wasn't heard he repeated it LOUDER.

The result was the same, we still ignored him, but I bet at the bar that night he told the story differently.

NICE SHOT GUY: ... So I said 'nice shot' and EVERYBODY laughed.
OTHER GUY: You tell me that stupid story one more time and I will shoot you!
NICE SHOT GUY: Wanna know what my dying words would be? NICE SHOT!


So, what movie talkers have you experienced?

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