Friday, June 11, 2004

Remake me a cake

Remakes. The movie houses are crazy with them right now.

Also, I like cake.

The Ladykillers, the Cohen brothers/Tom Hanks vehicle, was a remake of an older film by the same name. I wonder if that had 'Laughing Guy' in it like the remake did. If you don't remember 'Laughing Guy' go back and read the The Ten Greatest Minor Characters In Movie History.

One of my favorite remakes was Psycho. I know, I know, everyone hated it. But I liked it. I thought it was really neat to see that story played out by different people. I also liked Disney's remake of Mighty Joe Young, because it had Mini-me (Vern Troyer) in a gorilla suit.

There have been some remakes that I didn't like.

I thought the 1998 version of Godzilla was just embarrassing. Mayor Ebert? Oh, I get it. The guy gives him a thumbs down. That was really funny. Ha ha ha ha. Mayor Ebert. Thumbs down Mayor Ebert. Way down. Ha ha ha. That is really clever. See, he looks like Roger Ebert, but he is MAYOR Ebert. I think that is soooooo funny. Ha ha ha. O.K., I am officially annoyed at MYSELF.

I also did not like the Marky Mark version of Planet Of The Apes. Oh I get it. The Lincoln statue has an ape head. Ha ha h- wait a minute. I don't get it. I don't get it at all. Now I am annoyed at Marky Mark.

Now back to cakes.

I had some Tortuga Rum Cake today. It was INCREDIBLE. It tasted like having a supermodel buttering my tongue (don't hide the kids; That joke is not dirty, just stupid.)
I never had rum cake before. They make it with real rum, but they say due to the heating process only 0.05% of the alcohol remains. That meant I had to eat 7 1/2 cakes to get a serious buzz going, but it was worth it.

Cookie Puss is my other favorite cake.

Isn't he adorable! You may remember the commercials that Carvel put out for Cookie Puss in the early 80's. Well, Cookie Puss is still around. I had one recently. We all chanted and shook chicken bones in the air before we disected him and sent him to the great freezer in the sky. He tasted AWESOME. I usually don't like ice cream cake.
Ice cream cake always seems like a rip off. I want ice cream AND cake. Ice cream cake is like going to McDonalds and getting a hamburger made out of FRENCH FRIES. It would probably be great, but it's not the same as getting a hamburger AND fries.
But Cookie Puss is awesome. Great tasting ice cream and lots of that crunchy stuff that looks like coffee grounds. COOKIE PUSS! Get one.

I had Choco-diles the other day. They are chocolate covered Twinkies. CHOCOLATE COVERED TWINKIES! That is like having bacon COVERED sausage, INCREDIBLE. Choco-diles are hard to find today, as they are only produced in 3 regions of the U.S. If you ever see one, grab it.

The phrase 'piece of cake' refers to something easy. Apparently the origin of the phrase comes from the days when cake was a luxury. Back then people who had cake had it easy. Since cake really isn't a luxury anymore, the phrase is kinda stupid now.
Cake isn't that easy to eat. You need a fork, you have to chew and sometimes you spill some on your shirt. Eating pop rocks is EASY. They dissolve right in your mouth and they put on a small special effects show in there to boot. Yup the phrase should be changed to 'piece of Pop Rocks.'

What is your favorite cake or remake?
Post a comment, it's as easy as Pop Rocks.


  1. mmmm...bacon covered sausage

  2. I'm with you on the Marky Mark version of Apes. The movie was bad enough as it was, but the ending was infinitely worse. It's like they decided, "Well, the original movie had a great twist ending, so we HAVE to have one in this, too." Except the original made sense. This one just blew.

  3. It's a shame to see that I am the only one down with Burton's re-imagining of Planet of the Apes. I agree that the ending is a bit absurd, but I think the answers for it are hidden somewhere in the film.
    I agree though that Cookie Puss is a great cake, Sweetie, but I have always been partial to his counterpart Fudgie the Whale.