I gave blood yesterday. I try to give regularly. You are allowed to give blood every 56 days. 56 is an odd number to remember, so I just give blood every time Taco Bell invents a new taco.
So since they introduced the "Chinchadito" this week (meat on a tortilla) it was time to give.
I arrived at the blood center and realized it was EMPTY. Now, it was close to lunch time, so perhaps most of the donors were at taco bell getting a chinchadito. However, blood supplies are said to be low, so perhaps you should make an appointment yourself.
First they sit you down and ask you a list of questions that reads like a membership application for the KKK.
1. Have you ever, since 1977, been to Africa, the Dominican Republic or Cameroon?
2. Have you had sex with another man, even once, since 1977?
3. Have you traveled outside the United States in the past 6 months?
I'm not kidding. These are the real questions. You wonder why the Red Cross' logo is a 'red cross'. Red as in 'burning with FIRE'. Think about it.
So then they take you over to a cot and lie you down. The nurse introduced herself. Her name was Stella.
I immediately took out my cell phone and changed the answering machine message to say
"Hi, this is Guy Hutchinson. I can't come to the phone, because I am lying in bed and Stella is sticking a needle in my arm."
So, the needle went in. Stella started filling a 1 pint bag with my blood as I squeezed a plastic tube to help the blood flow. Throw in a dancing Hobo and Steve Martin with a pitchfork and you have my recurring childhood nightmare.
After they take all the blood, they give you a can of juice. The kind of can you haven't seen since grade school. A small metal can with a peel off top. Plus you get crackers.
This sounds like a good appetizer for a 3 chinchadito dinner.
Wait a minute! Taco Bell added something new to their menu and I don't know about it? To quote Brodie Bruce, "I must be slipping in my old age!" Well at least I know what I am having for dinner tonight...ReplyDelete
You know what would be AWESOME?? If while you were getting a needle stuck in your arm, Evel Knievel jumped over you!!!! Oh man that would be SWEEEEEEEETTTTTTT!!!!!ReplyDelete
Did you ever notice at the Red Cross that both the male and female nurses are wearing white uniforms. Make it's pretty easy to slip a hood on it and be ready to go for a wild night of cross-burning and lynching. Think about it.ReplyDelete
Freeze, I am starting to reget comparing the good people of the Red Cross with the bad people of the KKK.ReplyDelete
Seems like a stupid idea since I let them stick me with needles every 56 days. So, I TAKE IT ALL BACK, you Red Cross guys are great!
That should get me extra crackers!
NJCRC, I hope you enjoy your chinchadito. Remember to order an extra one and throw it on the ground in honor of your fallen homies.ReplyDelete
I CANNOT BELIVE THOSE QUESTIONS!!!ReplyDelete
When did you give blood? 1935? In Georgia?
Wow! Well, I guess its all for the sake of safety, but it seems soooo strange!
Glad to see you are using your site to encourage blood donation.ReplyDelete
Your description of the donation process was great:
"Throw in a dancing Hobo and Steve Martin with a pitchfork and you have my recurring childhood nightmare."
That should really send people to the blood centers, Sweetie!
Thank you Jenni! I do my best to help.ReplyDelete
Way to give back to your community, Sweetie!ReplyDelete