Thursday, April 14, 2005

Zachary Taylor: The Old Rough and Ready President

Zachary Taylor was born November 24, 1784, two hundred years before the release of the Helen Slater blockbuster "Supergirl".
Taylor's nickname was "Old Rough and Ready" and Supergirl used the name Linda Lee to fool people into believing she was a member of the human race.
Taylor was the twelfth President of the United States, serving from 1849 to 1850. Taylor had an extensive military career, and became the first president not previously elected to any other public office.

Taylor was born in a log cabin to aristocratic parents. As an infant his family moved to Kentucky, where Taylor grew up known as "Little Zack."

Supergirl was born on Krypton where she was called Kara.

In 1808, he joined the U.S. Army and served in the War of 1812, the Black Hawk war, the Second Seminole War and some other wars no one remembers. It was during the Seminole War he received the nickname "Old Rough and Ready".

Taylor garnered the Whig nomination for President in 1848, although he had never even bothered to vote before.

Let me restate that: HE NEVER EVEN BOTHERED TO VOTE BEFORE!!!

Think about this! He became President without ever voting. EVER!!! This is the ultimate rebuttal to anyone who complains about the voting apathy of today’s youth or anybody else.

Taylor was elected and a historic moment took place during the transition from the previous president to his administration. His term of office was scheduled to begin March 4, 1849. However, that was a Sunday so Taylor and Vice President Millard Fillmore refused to be sworn in until March 5th. This meant that for the first time in the history of the nation there was no president. Historians look back at that day as THE GREATEST DAY EVER!!

After participating in ceremonies at the Washington Monument on July 4, 1850, Taylor became ill and died of gastroenteritis five days later. He had been President for only 16 months. He was succeeded by Vice President, Millard Fillmore. I wish I had a Supergirl joke to insert here.

Many assumed that Taylor had been poisoned, but those rumors were put to rest in the early 1990s when Taylor's remains were exhumed. The examination revealed that had likely died from food contaminated with typhoid or cholera. Taylor had in fact eaten a large quantity of iced milk and cherries on the hot day before he became sick.

It should be noted that iced milk and cherries were as popular a snack in 1850 as Goldfish crackers and a can of Red Bull are today. It was not considered the "gayest snack ever" as it would be considered today.


FUN FACTS ABOUT ZACHARY TAYLOR:

Taylor chewed tobacco and was famous for never missing a spittoon when he spat.

Taylor was the second President to die in office.

Taylor rode his horse sidesaddle whenever he went into battle.

Abraham Lincoln gave the eulogy at his funeral.

He was named after his grandfather.


FUN FACTS I JUST MADE UP ABOUT ZACHARY TAYLOR:

In Walt Disney World's Hall of Presidents Taylor is the only President depicted shirtless.

His favorite games were blackjack, poker and "I’ve got your nose".

Only President to be certified as a "Lego-maniac".

Often said "An enemy is only a friend you haven't met yet. He would then shout "No wait, that’s a stranger! I always get those confused."

His nickname "Old rough and ready" is the current nickname of Hugh Hefner.


More Presidential nonsense:
Abe Lincoln: a man and his BEARD
William Howard Taft: The 350 pound president
Handsome Frank: The 14th President of the United States

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