Here is a poem I wrote about the toy phenomenon known as Hulk Hands:
Hulk Hands
To be like Hulk, such might, such power
Hulking up and smashing walls
I slide you on, you mighty glove
Remember that little girl from the Pepsi commercials?
It appeared on the site on May 15, 2004. I think it is pretty funny, but, I obviously didn't work too hard on it.
Here is a brand new Hulk Hands poem:
I wake and Hulk Hands play around my bed
Green like Kermit to my wondering eyes
Upwards to the glorious Bixby I raise my head
Then lay me down and thoughts of Hulk arise
This is another attempt:
If Hulk Hogan stole bread in Iran
As punishment they would cut off his hand
Still, one could not wear it as a glove
That is the reason it is Hulk Hands I love
So now, it is your turn! Comment with your best Hulk Hands poem!
Athwart the bed
ReplyDeleteI sing a Hulk Hands song
Made of foam, yet mighty and strong,
That for a hand it is green
Like the color of an infected spleen
I raise my head, --
The splendid moon and trees
The droop my head,
did I mention I have a beard of bees?
Roses are red
ReplyDeleteHulk Hands are green
In Russia toys are illegal
My Hulk Hands
ReplyDeletewalked through concert doors
and roamed all over coliseum floors
I stepped on stage,
at Live Aid
All the people gave
and then I met Lou Ferrigno
For my lover Betsy who walks with me
ReplyDeleteMake pilgrimage with me to this sweet shire
To stroll her festive hills and never tire
And step into a time so long gone by
And not to ask nor even wonder why
Perfumed her breasts and flowers would she wear
Feathers wreathes and ribbons in her hair
And should debauchery and lust hold sway
Thy saucy company with me would play
For every lord and squire within this glade
Arm-in-arm with you I'd promenade
And sup we would and lift our glass of ale
And watch yon jester weave a spicy tale
And stay all day would I and dance and laugh and sing
And celebrate with you dear Betsy
The rites of wearing Hulk Hands!!! Huzza!!!
OK, I'll give it a shot:
ReplyDeleteYou were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because of Hulk Hands
Here is my verision based on the Jewel hit, "Hands"
ReplyDeleteMy Hulk Hands are small I know
But they are not yours, they are my own
And my Hulk Hands are never broken
We are never broken
We are God's eyes
We are God's Hulk Hands
We are God's mind
We are God's Hulk Hands
It would truly be AWESOME
ReplyDeleteIf Evel Knievel had Hulk Hands
and jumped over tv's Blossom
While music was played by bands
And if Knievel had Hulk feet
Oh man that would be SSSSSWWWWWWEEEEEETTTTTT
Gene Hackman is so cool that Hulk Hands wear him!
ReplyDeleteGene Hakman is so cool that weights lift him at a gym!
Gene Hackman is so cool that poetry rhymes him!
Gene Hackman is so cool that Hulk Hands wear him!
There once was Hulk Hands fron Nantucket
ReplyDeleteThey got frequently got stuck in a bucket
Their owner got so mad he tried to chuck it
Until one day they were signed by Kirby Puckett
Big and green, mighty toy
ReplyDeletePut them on girl or boy
Raise them high above your head
Soon this fad will be over and dead
Making love in the afternoon with Cecilia,
ReplyDeleteUp in my bedroom, making love
I got up to wash my Hulk Hands
When I come back to bed
Someone's taken my night stand
Hulk Hands: By Doug Pastry
ReplyDeleteOh Hither was the hands of time
For me the green flesh hand pound rhyme
The tither toss of the glow brown hair
Was further toast to the mental glare
The green hulk hands hath captured me
I glance once more thus indeed I see
The hands of Hulk swinging close to me
I know the hands of Hulk are green
Hulk Hands: By Doug Pastry
ReplyDelete.......shalom........
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Listen up and I shall tell
ReplyDeleteA story of a girl I know so well
She was a Duff named Hilary
And she did not like working in a millery
She decided to sing songs with bands
And everywhere she went, she brought her Hulk Hands
The Hulk Hands were part of her act
Although entertainment value they sure lacked
Never without Hulk Hands was she seen
That they inspired her song, "Coming Clean"
I am big fan of Avril Lavigne
ReplyDeleteAlthough some think she's quite mean
I'm sure she be would never be seen
with Hulk Hands that are such bright green
She's done a lot of cool stuff
Although we have not had enough
I'll bet we can all agree
there is too much Hilary Duff
BTW: Sorry I haven't posted here in awhile. I've been very busy lately. I've been stockpiling Duff in hopes of creating a world wide Duff shortage and then waiting until the worldwide demand for Duff increases to such a level people will pay big bucks for Duff. Then I plan to gradually sell off small amounts of Duff with the goal of making a fortune on the worldwide Duff market.
Doc Bruce Banner,
ReplyDeletePelted by gamma rays,
Turned into the Hulk.
Ain't he unglamorous!
Wreckin' the town
With the power of a bull,
Ain't no monster cause.
Who is that lovable?
It's ever lovin' Hulk!...HULK!! HANDS!
-KATZ