Monday, September 13, 2004

The fast food obsession quiz

Are you obsessed with fast food? Find out with the:
The fast food obsession quiz

1. Which best describes the amount of times you go to a fast food restaurant?
a) "Not that often"
b) "About once a week"
c) "Dude, I am at McDonalds, RIGHT NOW!"

2. Grimace is:
a) A big purple gumdrop
b) A deformed Barney The Dinosaur
c) "Sitting next to me at McDonalds, RIGHT NOW!"

3. When people say 'subway' you immediately think of:
a) An underground train system
b) A delicious roasted chicken sandwich on honey oat bread
c) That place I pass on my way to White Castle

4. How did Harland Sanders get the title 'Colonel?'
a) From the governor of Kentucky
b) From Wolf Blitzer during the Gulf War
c) Whoa! I never knew his name was Harland! That's crazy!

5. The Atari 2600 released a game called "Fast Food." In the game a mouth would eat hamburgers, shakes, hot dogs and chicken nuggets.
What best describes your memory of it.
a) I don't remember it at all
b) I think I may have played it
c) Those weren't chicken nuggets, they were chicken legs!

6. The difference between a taco and a burrito is:
a) Burritos have beans in them
b) Burritos use larger tortillas
c) Burritos are 75 cents more

7. The first Ronald McDonald was...
a) ...Willard Scott
b) ...Scott Baio
c) ...Hopped up on crank for most of the 70's

8. Fill in the blank "______________ Go To White Castle" (movie title)
a) The Bad News Bears
b) Harold and Kumar
c) Losers

9. What fast food nickname suits you best?
a) Big Mac (because I'm a big guy)
b) Chicken Tender (because I am tender with the ladies, but afraid of them)
c) Fast food man (because I am not very creative)

10. Chik-fil-a is closed on Sunday because:
a) The employees need to spend time with their families
b) Because they are mocking me
c) its not closed if you know where they hide the key!

SCORING: Score yourself 1 point for all 'a' answers, 2 points for all 'b' answers and for every 'c' answer you have to give yourself a wedgie.

That is a pretty healthy relationship with fast food.
You know your stuff, but you may spend TOO much time eating fast food.
Dude, Chicken Tender is an AWESOME name! Don't let anyone tell you different!
21 POINTS and higher
You cheated! You cheated on a stupid fast food quiz! I order you to give yourself a wedgie.


  1. Anonymous9/13/2004

    27 points baby!

  2. Fast Food is nothing more than an extension of the corporate branding culture which causes today's generation of young men to be distanced and disassociated from society. For more on this topic, rent Fight Club.

  3. I once ordered a whopper with swiss cheese.

  4. Anonymous9/13/2004

    How'd that work out for you Senator Kerry?

  5. About as well as my lame ass Presidential campaign. Do I even have to try anymore?

  6. Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble

  7. Anonymous9/13/2004

    Once again, I disagree with Hamburglar. I think Col. Sanders' military records need to be released to determine if awarded himself the title of Col. Although this wouldn't even be an issue, if Col. Sanders himself did mention that he was a Col. every 5 minutes and use it to sell his chicken. But, in this election year, we need to ask, Did Col. Sanders deserve his purple heart? Did he really earn his title of Col. or was that bestowed upon him for political gain? Whose medals did he throw over the fence?

    There is no question, he served honorably and courageously, but we need to ask this questions. Sanders also admits war crimes. We need to investigate these. TELL THE TRUTH ABOUT YOUR SERVICE, COL. SANDERS. TELL THE TRUTH.

  8. Like, Col. Sanders, I also have a purple heart. But it's from eating his fried chicken!!

  9. Anonymous9/13/2004

    I believe Col. Sanders is the greatest Col. of all-time. Here is my list of great Cols.

    1. Col. Sanders
    2. Col. Tom Parker
    3. Col. Mustard
    4. Col. Klink
    5. Col. David Hackworth

  10. Sweetie, How about a quiz on Fast Food the movie? Then do a quiz about Voltron.

  11. When I need to carbo-load for a big fight, I eat a lot of fast food. Also, if there is a big pay day in a higher weight class, I'll often eat lots of fast food.

  12. One time, I saw Hillary Duff eating at a Wendy's. After she took her tray (Hear that? She's a celebrity who busses her own tray! Take that John Davidson!!)to the trash can, I reached in and pulled out her used hamburger wrapper and ketcup packs. They are now part of my "Den of Duff" located in my basement.

  13. Anonymous9/13/2004

    I like to heckle Larry King when he eats at Burger King. I'll shout, "Hey, you're eating at your brother's resturant." or "Hey, you're Larry King at Burger King." It's also fun to heckle him at Dairy Queen. "Hey, You're Larry King. Are you maired to the Dairy Queen?"

    A friend told me that he likes to heckle Dong King at Burger King. But I didn't get the joke.

    I also like heckling, Giraffes, Zebras, and Magpies. It's fun!

  14. You know what would be AWESOME? If there were a bunch of fast food resturants lined up in a row and then Evel Knievel jumped over them. Afterwards, he celebrated his jump with a Big Mac. Oh man that would be SSSWWWEEEEEETTTT!!!!!

  15. For the uninformed, Colonel Harlan Sanders is a Kentucky Colonel. This the highest honor that can be awarded by the Commonwealth of Kentucky.

    Commissions for Kentucky Colonels are given by the Governor and the Secretary of State to individuals in recognition of noteworthy accomplishments and outstanding service to a community, state or the nation.

    A list of Kentucky Colonels is a Who's Who of outstanding men and women around the world. The certificate, signed by the Governor and the Secretary of State and bearing the Great Seal of Kentucky, has hung on the walls of such distinguished leaders as President Lyndon B. Johnson and Ronald Reagan, and English Prime Minister Winston Churchill. Certificates are also proudly displayed by great second grade teachers and brave volunteer firemen who have performed in an extraordinary manner.

    This tradition began in 1813 during the second term of Governor Isaac Shelby. Shelby had just returned from leading the Kentucky Militia on a highly successful “War of 1812” campaign. He named one of his officers, Charles Todd, as an “Aid-De-Camp” on the Governor’s staff with the rank and grade of Colonel. Later Governors commissioned Colonels to act as their protective guard; they wore uniforms and were present at most official functions. (Today's colonels are not required to perform such service.) Other Governors continued this practice and by 1920’s their numbers had grown considerably.

    In 1928, an effort began to organize the Colonels into “A great non-political brotherhood for the advancement of Kentucky and Kentuckians”. In 1932, The Honorable Order of Kentucky Colonels was formally born. Today, the organization is incorporated as a charitable organization with by-laws directing it to be non-partisan, non-profit and dedicated to good works within the Commonwealth of Kentucky. Over the years, the Colonels have contributed millions of dollars to worthy causes. In 2003, with voluntary donations from all 50 states and 23 other nations, the Good Works Program Fund made grants totaling $1.3 million to 153 charitable and educational organizations. It marked the thirteenth consecutive year grants of at least one million dollars had been made. In addition to their collective charitable efforts, Colonels are Kentucky's ambassadors of goodwill and fellowship around the world. The organization's website can be accessed at:

    The Governor serves as the Commander-in-chief of the Honorable Order. The 12 members of the board of trustees serve on a voluntary basis.

  16. Got a 4. I guess it didn't count my Baja Fresh addiction.

  17. Anonymous9/13/2004

    This was pretty funny! I was glad to see an Atari reference!

  18. Anonymous9/13/2004

    Hey Guy!

    I love your site! The test was fun, but I don't have a number 2 pencil!

  19. Gene Hackman is so cool that arteries clog him!

  20. Anonymous9/14/2004

    Hi Guy (or are we supposed to call you Sweetie, now?)

    I love the Subway stuff!

  21. Anonymous9/14/2004

    I have NEVER been to Taco Bell, Burger King or White Castle! I feel like I am missing somthing.


  22. Thanks for the plug!

    -Chicken Tender

  23. Oh, by the way, that last post was an email I got. Pretty funny.

  24. Anonymous9/14/2004

    This is such a weird webpage. I liked the jokes about Grimace!

  25. Interesting site you have here. I take it you haven't read "Fast Food Nation", huh? :) Was glad to find out I'm not obsessed with fast

  26. I am the Fast Food KING!!!!!! I can eat anything.

  27. Dude I am OBESESSED with Wendy's!!! Where is that on your list!

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