Wednesday, March 23, 2005

You say tomato... I also say tomato: THE CRITERION EDITION

Get ready for some fun! I have completely re-mastered and spell checked the article You say tomato... I also say tomato. This article was originally posted in June of 2004. For this special Criterion Edition I have added the following:

-Directors commentary
-Photo Gallery
-Behind the scenes
-Deleted scenes

You say to-may-to, say tom-mah-to?
No, I say to-may-to.
Seriously, no one says to-mah-to. We all say to-may-to. It is one of the stupidest expressions there is. Po-tah-to? Who could say that with a straight face?

-Directors commentary
Sweetie Guy Hutchinson: This was an interesting opening. I am sure there are people who actually say "to-mah-to" but I have never met them or seen them on TV. Secretly I envy them.

"This is like taking candy from a baby." I never understood this one. Granted, babies are easy marks. They are easily distracted, and simple to overpower. But, CANDY? They LOVE candy! If you take candy from a baby they will cry and cry. Then their mommy will yell at you and hit you with her purse, then Wal-Mart security comes over and throws you out of the store and the guy sitting at the table collecting money for disabled veterans makes fun of you. Or so I heard.
So out of ALL the things one could take from a baby, CANDY is the hardest. The expression should be "this is like taking an application for a title loan extension from a baby."
That would be EASY! Babies have no need for a title loan. Plus they have no sense of TIME so they would never know that they were late and needed an extension.

-Photo Gallery

"This is selling like hotcakes." I know this was covered in a previous junk. It is still worth mentioning how stupid it is. HOTCAKES? I never saw them sell with any speed. I have not seen people lined up to buy hotcakes, or pancakes, or griddle cakes, or flapjacks, or a short stack, or an application for a title loan extension.

-Directors commentary
Sweetie Guy Hutchinson: Oh check out the 'call back' on that title loan extension! That was really clever!
Also covered in a previous junk is the expression "piece of cake" or "easy as pie" or "that donut is a hussy." I think this should be replaced by "easy as falling asleep during the movie Lost In Translation."

Behind the scenes-
When Sweetie was writing this post the film "Lost In Translation" was still a relatively new film. The film starred Bill Murray and was a critical success. Sweetie, however, was not a fan of the films slow pace and ambiguous ending.
I have decided to create my own, original, old sayings:
"Don't use a toilet, unless you are prepared to flush it."
"Mondays are like boomerangs. No matter how hard you throw them they still come back to you."
"I hate Rita's Water Ice."

Abe Lincoln: Known for leading the country through the Civil War, Abraham Lincoln was the 16th president of the United States. His eloquence is evident in many speeches including his most famous one, the Gettysburg Address. His second inaugural address, which includes the phrase, "With malice toward none; with charity for all..." is inscribed on one wall of the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, D.C.
I feel these sayings will take off, and replace the useless old, old sayings.

-Deleted Scenes
Originally the line "What's the deal with Grape Nuts- no grapes, no nuts!" Appeared in the second paragraph. Then it was brought to Sweetie's attention that he didn't make that line up he just stole it from a "Saturday Night Live" sketch.

Also, the end of the post used to feature three more new sayings:
-I can't believe it's not hand cream!
-Isn't Kirby Puckett dreamy?
-There has never been a book that didn't need an author.
These expressions were cut in the interest of space.

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