Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Mocking the list: Comedy Central's 100 greatest Comedians of all time

Yup, Comedy Central. It's a shame that the original comedy channel Ha! didn't stick around to give Comedy Central some competition. Perhaps then Comedy Central would be a BETTER network.
I know that some people like watching John Stewart do a second rate impression of Dennis Miller. And sure foul mouthed cartoon characters and puppets are fun. Plus we liked Pinball in "Con Air" so his take on last weeks 'Mad TV' sketches MUST be funny.

The rest of the time Comedy Central is completely hit or miss. Definitely NOT a channel you can turn on and leave on all day.

In actuality, Comedy Central fails just as often as they succeed. Remember when they announced a new award show called "The Commies"? They promised to give us something new BUT instead it was just another People's Choice/Blockbuster/MTV Music/TV Land awards show. "Old School" won almost every film award except the ones that were given to John Stewart, Pinball and basically anyone on the Comedy Central payroll.

Now Comedy Central brings us a list of the 100 Greatest Comics of all time. Lets take a look:

1. Richard Pryor
2. George Carlin
3. Lenny Bruce
4. Woody Allen
5. Chris Rock

Pretty good so far. Can't argue with Richard Pryor as #1 but I would have put Bill Cosby and Rodney Dangerfield ahead of Carlin or Rock. It's a matter of personal preference, however.

6. Steve Martin
7. Rodney Dangerfield
8. Bill Cosby
9. Roseanne Barr
10. Eddie Murphy
11. Johnny Carson
12. Jerry Seinfeld
13. Robin Williams
14. Bob Newhart

WOW! That caught me by surprise! I didn't think that Newhart would make the list. The man is a riot. So far, so good.

15. David Letterman
16. Ellen DeGeneres
17. Don Rickles
18. Jonathan Winters
19. Bill Hicks

Never heard of Bill Hicks. Never. I looked him up and found out that he is considered "one of the greatest comedians of all time" and "the Kurt Cobain of comedy." I have no idea what that means.

20. Sam Kinison
21. Dennis Miller
22. Robert Klein
23. Steven Wright
24. Redd Foxx
25. Bob Hope

ROBERT KLEIN????? Ahead of Bob Hope and Redd Foxx? What is that about?? Still, I like this list. I am happy Kinison finished so well.

26. Ray Romano
27. Jay Leno
28. Jack Benny
29. Milton Berle
30. Garry Shandling
31. George Burns
32. Albert Brooks
33. Andy Kaufman
34. Buddy Hackett
35. Phyllis Diller

Hackett, Benny, Berle and Burns. It seems as if they are just randomly tossing out the names of every old comedian they can think of. I can't say this is a BAD list, they are all deserving comedians, but it always seems forced when people put entertainment in order. For example, was George Burns really 1 spot less funny than Garry Shandling? If they swapped those two would anyone notice?
By the way, Andy Kaufman was my favorite of all time.

36. Jim Carrey
37. Martin Lawrence
38. Bill Maher
39. Billy Crystal
40. Mort Sahl

I bet even Mort Sahl is surprised he made the list. If you don't know Mort, he is a comedy writer and comedian since the 1950s. He's not very famous, however. It looks like some THOUGHT went into this list.

41. Jon Stewart
42. Flip Wilson
43. Dave Chappelle
44. Joan Rivers
45. Richard Lewis
46. Adam Sandler
47. Henny Youngman
48. Tim Allen
49. Freddie Prinze

Relax, they aren't talking about the Freddie Prinze from "Summer Catch" they are talking about his dad. THAT Freddie Prinze was on "Chico and the Man" he played Chico, but he was ALL man. Ewww. I think I just grossed MYSELF out.

50. Denis Leary
51. Lewis Black
52. Damon Wayans
53. David Brenner
54. DL Hughley
55. Alan King
56. Colin Quinn
57. Richard Jeni
58. Larry Miller

A word of warning. All the annoying comedians are coming up NEXT!

59. Gilbert Gottfried
60. Jeff Foxworthy
61. Bobcat Goldthwait
62. Eddie Griffin
63. Jackie Mason
64. Richard Belzer

You might be a redneck if your pants have holes in them. Yuk yuk yuk.

65. Cedrick the Enter.
66. Shelley Berman
67. Kevin Pollak
68. Dave Attell

DAVE ATTELL?? Oh right, he's on Comedy Central. I know some of their stars defiantly belong on this list. After all they are critically acclaimed and adored by a segment of the population, but Dave Attell?
Heres a list of people that should have made the list ABOVE Attell. To keep the list short I will limit it to fat people:

1. Kevin James
2. Chris Farley
3. Jim Belushi
4. John Belushi
5. Dan Aykroyd

69. Pat Cooper
70. Wanda Sykes
71. Red Buttons
72. Bernie Mac
73. Billy Connolly

I have checked with 5 different people. The letters after the number 73 spell BILLY CONNOLLY. Ugh. Here's a list of "America's Funniest Videos" hosts that are funnier than Billy Connolly.

1. Bob Saget .... Host (1990-1997)
2. John Fugelsang .... Host (1997-2000)
3. Daisy Fuentes .... Host (1997-2000)
4. Tom Bergeron .... Host (2001-)

74. Paul Rodriguez
75. Eddie Izzard
76. Robert Schimmel
77. Paul Reiser
78. Sinbad
79. Dom Irrera
80. Bobby Slayton
81. Dick Gregory

I guess we should congratulate Dom Irrera and Bobby Slayton for their upcoming shows on Comedy Central. There is no other way to explain how two guys who play the back room at Chuckles in East Orange New Jersey made this list.
As for Dick Gregory, I FORGOT that he was a comic! All I think of now is him helping fat people with braids and muumuus.

82. Howie Mandel
83. Norm MacDonald
84. Drew Carey
85. David Cross

Hey annoying comics get back between 59 and 64 where you belong!

86. Jay Mohr
87. Brett Butler
88. Paula Poundstone

Run Jay Mohr, run. Run as fast as you can before either of those crazy women sees you!

89. Kevin James
90. Dana Carvey
91. Jim Breuer
92. Louie Anderson
93. George Wallace
94. David Alan Grier

Awesome set. Although Louie wasn't funny enough to get on my "FAT PEOPLE FUNNIER THAN DAVE ATTELL" list. Remember "Life With Louie"? I think I still have a can of "Life With Louie" pasta in the back of my food cabinet.

95. Andrew 'Dice' Clay
96. Joey Bishop
97. Sandra Bernhard
98. Louis CK
99. Janeane Garofalo
100. Gallagher

Poor Joey Bishop. Stuck in the bottom with idiots, cranky women and people with stupid names. Good think Frank is dead and didn't have to see that.

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