Saturday, June 19, 2004

You say tomato... I also say tomato

You say to-may-to, say tom-mah-to?
No, I say to-may-to.
Seriously, no one says to-mah-to. We all say to-may-to. It is one of the stupidest expressions there is. Po-tah-to? Who could say that with a straight face?

"This is like taking candy from a baby." I never understood this one. Granted, babies are easy marks. They are easily distracted, and simple to overpower. But, CANDY? They LOVE candy! If you take candy from a baby they will cry and cry. Then their mommy will yell at you and hit you with her purse, then Wal-Mart security comes over and throws you out of the store and the guy sitting at the table collecting money for disabled veterans makes fun of you. Or so I heard.
So out of ALL the things one could take from a baby, CANDY is the hardest. The expression should be "this is like taking an application for a title loan extension from a baby."
That would be EASY! Babies have no need for a title loan. Plus they have no sense of TIME so they would never know that they were late and needed an extension.

"This is selling like hotcakes." I know this was covered in a previous junk. It is still worth mentioning how stupid it is. HOTCAKES? I never saw them sell with any speed. I have not seen people lined up to buy a hotcake, or pancakes, or griddle cakes, or flapjacks, or a short stack, or an application for a title loan extension.

Also covered in a previous junk is the expression "piece of cake" or "easy as pie" or "that donut is a hussy." I think this should be replaced by "easy as falling asleep during the movie Lost in Translation."

I have decided to create my own, original, old sayings:
"Don't use a toilet, unless you are prepared to flush it."
"Mondays are like boomerangs. No matter how hard you throw them they still come back to you."
"I hate Rita's Water Ice."

I feel these sayings will take off, and replace the useless old, old sayings.


  1. I would never take candy from a baby. Who wants to touch it after they slobber on it? YUCK!

  2. you know, i have never heard anyone say toh-mah-to. lol

  3. Ah, but would you take a tomato a baby had slobbered on?

  4. Candy and babies? What has this world gone to?