John F. Kerry was born on December 11, 1943 at Fitzsimons Army Hospital in Colorado. His father, Richard, volunteered in the Army Air Corps and flew DC-3's, B-29's, A-21's, F-13's - Ooooh! I got BINGO!!!!
John's mother, Rosemary, was a Girl Scout leader for 50 years, and one of her proudest possessions was her 50 year Girl Scout pin. Oddly enough the pin read "World's Greatest Poker Player" and did not actually feature the Girl Scout logo or insignia. It is also of interest that she found the pin on a transit bus.
As he was graduating from Yale, John Kerry volunteered to serve in Vietnam, because, as he later said, "I they said Vienna." He believed that “Vienna sausages are big and juicy, or maybe I am thinking about Italian sausages. Hold on, is Vienna in Italy?” John Kerry served two tours of duty. His leadership, courage, and sacrifice earned him a Silver Star, a Bronze Star with Combat V, and three Purple Hearts.
But John Kerry's wartime experience taught him a painful lesson that he could not forget, even after he returned home. It really hurts when you poke yourself the chest with your Bronze Star.
After returning home became a Vietnam Veteran Against the War (VVAW). In April 1971 John testified before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee and posed the powerful question, "Which one of you used to sing with Cher?"
John Kerry was elected Lieutenant Governor in 1982. He was elected to the United States Senate two years later. He is now serving his fourth term, but is often taunted by the fear that he will never achieve the goal his mother wanted for him: to become a Girl Scout.
He is married to Teresa Heinz Kerry, and they have a blended family that includes two daughters, three sons, one grandchild, and a German Shepherd named Cym. Cym is too cool for vowels, he often barks "don't give me that sometimes 'y' nonsense. They
is all consonants."
Some facts about John Kerry:
His first car was a 1962 Volkswagen bug
No Surrender by Bruce Springsteen is his favorite song
He has a net worth of $600 million
His favorite food is chocolate chip cookies
Some facts I just made up about John Kerry:
Is rarely photographed without his trademark 'hat made out of dead chipmunks'
Once called Tip O'Neil 'Ron O'Neal' afterwards he and Tip wrestled until the cops arrived
Was the first Democratic Presidential candidate to call his opponent a 'Sucker M.C.'
Chocolate chip cookies is his slang for delicate chocolate truffles from Micca's in Paris
Funny stuff. I can't wait to see if Sucker MC is voting for Kerry, after his name was invoked.
ReplyDelete...BANE
You know what was not AWESOME? In 1969, when Evel Knievel traveled to Vietnam to entertain the troops by jumping over things, but after John Kerry left Vietnam he publicly accused Knievel of jumping over Vietnamese villiages and civillians, going so far to accuse Evel Knievel of violating the Geneva Convention and the Daredevil Code. Kerry's book about the experience features an upside-down jumping Knievel. It was not SSSSWWWWWEEEEEETTTT, not SSSSSWWWWWWWEEEEEEETTTTTTT at all.
ReplyDeleteKnievel fans for truth approved the conent of this message.
There is no truth to the rumor that Hilary Duff dropped out of the "Concerts for Change" rally to support John Kerry because she thought she was thought "Concert for Change" meant that she was being paid with lose change thrown on stage by audience members.
ReplyDeleteSweetie, you forgot to mention the years Kerry spent playing "Lerch" on the "Adams Family" television series.
ReplyDeleteRobble Robble. I am voting for Kerry after President Bush has repeaditly denied my request for a pardon. If Mark Rich can get a pardon and I can't? I cut and pasted the most recent letter I sent President Bush and his reply.
ReplyDeleteDear President Bush:
Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble
Sincerely,
Hamburglar
Dear Mr. Hamburglar:
Well I appreciate the sentiments sent on your behalf from Grimace and Ronald McDonald, I am not prepared to grant a full Presidential pardon at this time. I do understand your difficult situation, but I think calling it "robble" is an overstatement.
Respectfully,
George W. Bush.
What the Hell is this....Guy Sweetie has become the History Channel...Its great that you key on all this presidential stuff...but I think you are missing the legend of presidents!!!!! Where's The BUSH? I aint talking Daddy either....I mean our own baby W Bush!!!
ReplyDeleteHell now there's are guy who will get us through this mess... Courage and a well thought out plan is what we need right now...So I ask AGAIN!!!!!! WHERE's THE BUSH?
Damn! I wanted bingo!
ReplyDeleteEh, I hate bothe of em!
ReplyDeleteHa! That's funny! But who's John Kerry?
ReplyDelete