Monday, November 01, 2004

Dubya: The 43rd President of the United States

President Bush was born on July 6, 1946, in New Haven, Connecticut, and he grew up in Midland and Houston, Texas. He received a bachelor's degree from Yale University in 1968, then served as an F-102 fighter pilot in the Texas Air National Guard. After working on his father's successful 1988 presidential campaign, he assembled the group of partners that purchased the Texas Rangers baseball franchise in 1989. Five years later, after learning that the Baseball team was a separate entity from the hit TV show Walker, Texas Ranger he promptly fired Chuck Norris. Norris told reporters, "It's okay, I was having a lot of trouble fielding grounders and I just got a script for a movie where I team up with a karate kicking pooch."

After the Chuck Norris fiasco, Bush left the Rangers and was elected Governor of Texas on November 8, 1994, with 53.5 percent of the vote. He became the first Governor in Texas history to be elected to consecutive four-year terms when he was re-elected on November 3, 1998, with 68.6 percent of the vote. Meanwhile, Chuck Norri's Pooch Power was stalled in development at Paramount Pictures.

Since taking office, President Bush has signed into law bold initiatives to improve public schools by raising standards, requiring accountability, and giving the kids 'them super-computers like they have in the Batcave.' He also signed tax relief that provided rebate checks and lower tax rates for everyone who pays income taxes in America. He has increased pay and benefits for America's military and is working to save and strengthen Social Security and Medicare. To put it in his words "I'm like a modern day... uh... guy that helps ya with stuff. Sorta like that Mr. Clean who helps you clean the floor and wears an earring. Remember that guy? Was he gay, or what was his deal?"

Fun facts about George W. Bush:

His wife Laura Welch Bush is a former teacher and librarian

His nicknames include "W," Dubya, George W. and "43"

His favorite drink is diet soda

He owns two dogs, Spotty and Barney; and a cat named India

His favorite movie is Field of Dreams

Fun facts I just made up about George W. Bush:

Uses the Secret Service handle 'B-Diddy'

Often starts press conferences by saying "B-Diddy is in the hizzy"

Once interrupted his father's State of the Union address by shouting "Enough of this political mumbo jumbo, who wants to go out and get some eggs?"

Fought congress for two years on a proposal to replace the question mark with a cartoon of a confused Dennis The Menace

For the first 3 years of his administration his presidential limousine had a bumper sticker that read 'Don't Blame Me, I voted for Nader'