Monday, October 04, 2004

The Earth Day Special

Earth Day comes once a year (towards the end of April.) It's a time when people worry about the end of the world and decide to recycle and carpool for a week or so.

Events like 1990's Earth Day Special, however, come once a lifetime.

In 1990 every famous person alive got together to make a special about the environment. I am not kidding. This is TRULY star studded. There are so many stars, that rather than list them all at once, I am going to randomly drop them in between sentences.

Barbara Streisand, Neil Patrick Harris, Michael Douglas, Jack Lemon,

See, just like that.

Harold Ramis, Rhea Pearlman, Geena Davis,

The film is really bizarre, totally uneven. At points it is a documentary, at other points it is a narrative comedy. Celebrities drop by constantly, some play themselves, others play famous characters they played in films and TV and others play all new characters. It's enough to make you dizzy.

Meryl Streep, The cast of Married With Children,

The film opens with Danny Devito and Rhea Pearlman. They are playing what seems to be themselves, but they have pretty dumpy house. I would assume that they would live in a mansion, but instead it looks like a college dorm- and not a very good college.

Morgan Freeman, Bette Midler, Rodney Dangerfield,

See, Danny doesn't care about the environment, but Rhea does. So she makes him watch the Earth Day Special. Yes, they are going to watch the very special that they are starring in.
The term for speaking directly to the audience is 'breaking the forth wall.' So, I can only assume that watching the special WITHIN the special is 'breaking the forth wall, smacking it's momma and pouring sugar in it's gas tank.'

Michael Keaton, Will Smith, E.T., Dustin Hoffman,

The special is about Mother Nature (portrayed by Bette Midler.) See, Mother Nature is dying and the world is very concerned.

James Brolin, Dana Delaney, Dan Ackroyd, Kermit the Frog,

Well, not EVERYONE is concerned. Robin Williams (the everyman) doesn't care. So he tells everyone how wonderful life is and how we shouldn't be so worried. Then Mother Nature's doctor, Doogie Howser (seriously), tells us that Mother Nature is in serious condition.

Kevin Costner, Candice Bergen, Martin Short, Chevy Chase, Ice T,

Dustin Hoffman then debates Robin Williams. See, Williams is the everyman and Hoffman is the every LAWYER. Does that make you laugh? I hope so, because it is the ONLY type of humor you will find in the Earth Day Special.

Christopher Lloyd, Bill Cosby, Ted Danson and the cast of Cheers,

Then Doc Brown arrives from the future to tell us that we will die if Bette Midler doesn't get better. To stress the point a group of rappers (including Will Smith and Ice T) rap about Bette Midler. There, THAT is the strangest sentence I have ever typed.

Magic Johnson, Rick Moranis, Dennis Miller, Alex Trebek,

Meryl Streep is so upset about the environment that she goes to a bar. Kevin Costner is tending bar. I don't think he is playing himself, I think he is just playing a bartender, but maybe it was during the dry spell between Waterworld and Open Range. Maybe he couldn't get acting jobs and had to tend bar on the side.

Robert Wuhl, Jane Fonda, The Golden Girls, Danny Devito,

Now throughout the special, they cut to the sets of many famous TV shows. All of these TV families are watching the special and discussing how they will use the positive messages of Earth Day to help save the planet.
We see the Cosby family and the Cheers bar watching the show.
I belive that is called 'shoving salt into the forth wall's wounds.'

Dennis Miller, Bugs Bunny, Mayim Bialik, Downtown Julie Brown.

In the end Bette Midler gets better and Danny Devito and Robin Williams learn a valuable lesson.

This is truly one of the strangest programs ever produced. It is available on video, but hard to find. Now, they only need to a special about the health and well being of that darn forth wall.