Wednesday, July 14, 2004

Magazine, you look great in that sweater

I loved Mad Magazine as a kid. I loved it so much that, to this day, you name a movie from the 70's or 80's and I can tell you the title of the Mad satire.

The Godfather = The Oddfather
Rocky 3 = Rockhead 3
Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back = Star Bores: The Empire Strikes Out
Earthquake = Mirthquake
Little Darlings = Little Star'Lings

And I never even SAW Little Darlings. In fact the only way I know of it is FROM Mad. Mad could have made the movie up!

Mad also had Snappy Answers To Stupid Questions, a comedy concept that was never actually very funny, but I always looked forward to it. The Fold In on the back cover was my least favorite part of Mad. I would have to look through three or four isseus at the drug store to find one that had not been folded in.
I never folded mine, because I had an odd desire to keep it un-folded. I was actually only about 2 years away from an obsessive compulsive fold in disorder when I stopped buying Mad.

If they had kept the good jokes coming I would still buy it. I would also have worn the skin off my hands compulsivly cleaning them to prevent soiling the fold in.

Cracked Magazine. Considered by some to be a cheap knock off of Mad, Cracked has certainly stood the test of time. My favorite Cracked feature was The Cracked Lens. They would show stills from old movies and throw in bizzare quotes. It rarely made any sense.

At my grade school there were 2 gangs. The gang that liked Mad and the gang that liked Cracked. It was like the bloods and the crips.

I wasn't in the gangs because I liked Crazy.

Crazy was a short lived Marvel attempt at getting into the comedy magazine business. It featured a scuzzy evil clown as their mascot. HOW COULD I NOT LOVE IT.

Other humor magazines that didn't make it included:

Despite the impressive interview list, and the name recognition, Muppet Magazine did not last. I have an issue from 1984. On the cover Mr. T poses with Kermit the Frog and Animal (who is dressed as Mr. T.) Inside Fozzie conducts an interview with Weird Al Yankovic and Gonzo teaches you how to breakdance. HOW DID THIS MAGAZINE NOT MAKE IT. That has to be the coolest line-up any publication has ever had.

I never got a copy of ALF magazine. I always liked the show, because who doesn't like a wisecracking puppet, but I never bought this. I figured I would stick with the proven commodity of MAD or CRACKED.

ALF magazine was another short-lived puppet run publication. Sadly furry monsters did receive a modicum of success when a furry monster named Rosie O'Donnell started her own magazine. For those keeping track, Rosie is gone, too.

Anybody remember these? Or any others I forgot?


  1. I remember a BARBIE magazine. It was a little like Muppet Magazine. They had lots of articles with celebrities talking about their Barbies and cartoons and such.

  2. You know what would be AWESOME? If both Mr. T and Animal had a beard of bees, and Mr. T could even have a mowhawk made of bees. Then the bees could get on a motorcyle and jump over a pile of Rosie O'Donnell magazines. That would be SWEET!

  3. Now all the magazines are dedicated to celebrities and celebrity feuds. Like the "Hillary/Avril" magazine which only covers the Hillary Duff/Avril Lavigne fued, which has already exploded past the level of the Biggie Smalls/Tupac feud from 1997. Look for an east coast/west coast bubble gum pop feud to take hold of the new millenium and eventually lead the apocolypse.

  4. You know what would be AWESOME, if Animal and Mr. T had a beard of bees, and T had a mohawk of bees and while they were jumping over a stack of Rosie Magazines, Evel Knievel was jumping over them. And then they land at the same time. Oh man, that would be SWWWWWEEEEEEETTTTTTT!!!!

  5. I remember Hot Dog and Dynamite. I know that Dynamite would feature Travolta on the cover at least once every 2 months. Whereas Hot Dog would feature Harrison Ford on the cover every two months. Dynamite would run an interview with the Muppets, but Hot Dog featured the Sesame Street characters. Dynamite had a comic strip called "Bummers", but Hot Dog had a comic strip called "Bad Luck". Dynamite always featured tips on having a cool summer, but Hot Dog specialized in how to make the most of your Holiday Season. Hot Dog had an Arts and Crafts section, but Dynamite had a Crafts and Arts Section. They were both very unique. I think both had Goofus and Gallant for a while, until their agent negotiated a better deal with Highlights Magazine.

  6. I still read Mad sometimes. I love Spy vs. Spy.

  7. cracked sucked. i never ready crazy, but mad was great.

  8. The bloods and the crips! Very funny!

  9. Anonymous7/23/2004

    I once saw a video at a comic convention that showed the Oddfather as a cartoon!