Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Movie Marathons - The Criterion Edition

A long time ago presented a silly little article called "Movie Marathons." You can read the original version here .

Get ready for some fun! I have completely re-mastered and spell checked the article Movie Marathons. For this special Criterion Edition I have added the following:

-Directors commentary
-Photo Gallery
-Behind the scenes
-Deleted scenes

Have you ever been to a movie marathon?
A movie marathon is when a bunch of movies are shown back-to-back-to-back.

A marathon can be held at home, or in a theater. There are very few rules to the movie marathon.

One unbendable rule is THERE MUST BE AT LEAST THREE FILMS. Really, that's a must. Two films is just a double feature, and one film is just ONE FILM. Unless it's MARATHON MAN, then I guess it's sort of a marathon, but not really.

Director's Commentary:
This is a pretty strong opening. It was kind of difficult to do. I figured most people reading already knew what a movie marathon was. Still, I decided to put in an explanation for anyone who didn't know. Then for those who wanted comedy I threw in the Marathon Man line. It's not actually funny, but it SEEMS like it is. That is always more important.

The other rule is that the movies should have some kind of a theme. This is more pliable than the 'three film' rule.

Director's Commentary:
I had heard someone say pliable earlier that day. That's why I threw it in. I am still not sure I used it correctly.

I suppose you could run:
The Butterfly Effect
Apollo 13
Care Bears The Motion Picture
& Hoop Dreams

You could pretend that that was movie marathon. Now a true veteran of the movie marathon would make a theme to connect these movies:
The Butterfly Effect: Butterflies have wings and can FLY.
Apollo 13: About a ship that is LAUNCHED into space.
Care Bears The Motion Picture: A bunch of bears that live on a CLOUD.
& Hoop Dreams: A documentary about basketball players with a HIGH vertical leap.

SEE! This could be the Sky High Marathon!

Another way to pick the films is to go with a series of films. This is easy to do, and the movies are pre-selected. There are obvious choices for this kind of marathon, like the Jurassic Park Trilogy, The Godfather Trilogy or Legally Blonde, Legally Blonde 2, and then just shooting yourself in the head.

-Photo Gallery
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Last year select theaters showed all three Lord Of The Rings films in a marathon fashion. This was sold-out QUICKLY. I assume this is because there is no joy in the world more profound then watching NINE hours of Elijah Wood while sitting next to an unemployed, date-less creep, who smells like cheese doodles and is dressed up as Elijah Wood.

Director's Commentary:
I know it sounds cruel, but most nerds do smell like cheese doodles. If you sensed a bit of bitterness in that paragraph it's because I really wanted to go to the Lord of the Rings marathon. I wanted to experience the action, the drama AND the cheese doodle odor.

I once went to a marathon of Smokey and the Bandit films. It was AWESOME. We all wore fake mustaches and played travel bingo. It was like being a young girl in Italy (except for the travel bingo and the Smokey and the Bandit films.)

You can also do a marathon of three films with the same STAR or DIRECTOR. I attended a marathon of Mr. T films, a marathon of Stallone films and a marathon of films directed by Paul Verhoven.

Whatever films are chosen, it is a good idea to have plenty of food, beverages and no FIREARMS (see Legally Blonde marathon above.)

Soleil Moon Frye began acting at the age of two, after seeing her father and brother on TV. It is interesting to note that although her dad had a normal moniker, her brother, like Soleil, had a silly name.
She then became famous by doing commercials and playing "Punky Brewster" (1984) on NBC.

Here are some marathon suggestions:
The Hamburger Marathon:
1. Good Burger: One of the funniest DUMB movies ever made. The film is about two guys working at a fast food restaurant who uncover an evil plot.
2. Hamburger The Motion Picture: A film about a guy who has to go to a college run by a fast food restaurant. He then uncovers an evil plot.
3. Fast Food: Jim Varney plays an evil fast food owner. Lord knows, he has an evil plot. I bet someone uncovers it.
4. Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle: This film is coming soon to a theater near you. I wasn't able to find a plot summary, but I bet it is an EVIL plot summary.

-Behind the scenes
This article was originally published a few weeks before Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle. The film was a huge hit eventually ending up at #2 on the list of all time box office grosses. Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle grossed $600,788,187.45- just 55 cents less than Titanic, the #1 film of all time.


The Boy Scout Marathon (featuring movies that have nothing to do with Boy Scouts)
1. The Last Boy Scout: Damon Wayans sasses Bruce Willis.
2. For The Boys: Bette Midler sasses James Caan.
3. The Scout: Albert Brooks coaches a baseball playing Brendan Fraser, and then sasses him.
4. Sleepaway Camp 3: A camp counselor kills campers that sassed her.

Have you ever attended a movie marathon?

-Deleted Scenes
Originally there was a description of Kevin Smith's Vulgarthon film festival that mirrored the Lord of the Rings sequence. It even contained the cheese doodle line. It was removed because test audiences found it dull.

Also, one other marathon was featured:
The Star Wars Marathon:
1. Star Wars (1977)
2. A Star Is Born (1954)
3. The War of the Roses (1989)
4. Yentl (1983)


  1. Ahhhh, the nostalgia. I love Pat Morita.

  2. I still can't believe that "Harold and Kumar go to White Castle" came up 1 slider shy of being the highest grossing movie of all time. Somewhere Kal Penn is crying. Or Waxing. Or remembering how cool it felt to beat up Superman.

  3. Anonymous8/17/2006

    I am waxing it. Waxing on and off like Pat Morita. I like to wax it.

  4. Anonymous8/17/2006

    Awesome. I will go and rent Legally Blonde and get on the handgun waiting list.

  5. Mr. T films? So that's Rocky 3 which is good, DC Cab which is okay and what else?

  6. I didn't answer your question. I have never been to a movie marathon at a theater. On my own I have watched marathons of these:

    Clint Eastwood movies
    James Bond movies
    Evil Dead
    Star Trek
    Heavy Metal themed movies
    Planet of the apes
    bad 50's sci-fi movies (on more than one occasion)

  7. I have been to a Mr. T marathon. It was a big event in Brooklyn NY. They played Rocky III, D.C. Cab, The Toughest Man in the World, Wrestlemania and the A-Team 2 part pilot. It rocked.

    I have done James Bond (on TNT I think) and I just did a Planet of the Apes marathon in Ape-ril.

    What heavy metal themed flicks did you watch? That concept intrigues me. I once watched a handful of rap themed movies in one night:
    Who's the Man
    Tougher than Leather

    My head hurt afterwards and I started to talk like Prince Markie Dee.

  8. Sweetie, I watched Rock Star, Airheads and Trick or treat. I believe those three DVD's cost me less than $15 combined because I got them all form Wal-mart's bargain bin at different times. I did it for a metal movies week I was writing for my blog a few months ago. I have also watched a Dracula marathon and Ray Harryhausen marathon. I remember seeing all the Planet of the apes films on cable back to back. I think that was in '98 for the 30th anniversary of the first film.

  9. That's awesome! Airheads is one of my all time favorite films.

    Theres three of you, you aren't exactly "lone."