Friday, June 18, 2004

Movie marathon

Have you ever been to a movie marathon?
A movie marathon is when a bunch of movies are shown back-to-back-to-back.

A marathon can be held at home, or in a theater. There are very few rules to the movie marathon.

One unbendable rule is THERE MUST BE AT LEAST THREE FILMS. Really, that's a must. Two films is just a double feature, and one film is just ONE FILM. Unless it's MARATHON MAN, then I guess it's sort of a marathon, but not really.

The other rule is that the movies should have some kind of a theme. This is more pliable than the 'three film' rule.

I suppose you could run:
The Butterfly Effect
Apollo 13
Care Bears The Motion Picture
& Hoop Dreams

You could pretend that that was movie marathon. Now a true veteran of the movie marathon would make a theme to connect these movies:
The Butterfly Effect: Butterflies have wings and can FLY.
Apollo 13: About a ship that is LAUNCHED into space.
Care Bears The Motion Picture: A bunch of bears that live on a CLOUD.
& Hoop Dreams: A documentary about basketball players with a HIGH vertical leap.

SEE! This could be the Sky High Marathon!

Another way to pick the films is to go with a series of films. This is easy to do, and the movies are pre-selected. There are obvious choices for this kind of marathon, like the Jurassic Park Trilogy, The Godfather Trilogy or Legally Blonde, Legally Blonde 2, and then just shooting yourself in the head.

Last year select theaters showed all three Lord Of The Rings films in a marathon fashion. This was sold-out QUICKLY. I assume this is because there is no joy in the world more profound then watching NINE hours of Elijah Wood while sitting next to an unemployed, date-less creep, who smells like cheese doodles and is dressed up as Elijah Wood.

I once went to a marathon of Smokey and the Bandit films. It was AWESOME. We all wore fake mustaches and played travel bingo. It was like being a young girl in Italy (except for the travel bingo and the Smokey and the Bandit films.)

You can also do a marathon of three films with the same STAR or DIRECTOR. I attended a marathon of Mr. T films, a marathon of Stallone films and a marathon of films directed by Paul Verhoven.

Whatever films are chosen, it is a good idea to have plenty of food, beverages and no FIREARMS (see Legally Blonde marathon above.)

Here are some marathon suggestions:
The Hamburger Marathon:
1. Good Burger: One of the funniest DUMB movies ever made. The film is about two guys working at a fast food restaurant who uncover an evil plot.
2. Hamburger The Motion Picture: A film about a guy who has to go to a college run by a fast food restaurant. He then uncovers an evil plot.
3. Fast Food: Jim Varney plays an evil fast food owner. Lord knows, he has an evil plot. I bet someone uncovers it.
4. Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle: This film is coming soon to a theater near you. I wasn't able to find a plot summary, but I bet it is an EVIL plot summary.


The Boy Scout Marathon (featuring movies that have nothing to do with Boy Scouts)
1. The Last Boy Scout: Damon Wayans sasses Bruce Willis.
2. For The Boys: Bette Midler sasses James Caan.
3. The Scout: Albert Brooks coaches a baseball playing Brendan Fraser, and then sasses him.
4. Sleepaway Camp 3: A camp counselor kills campers that sassed her.

Have you ever attended a movie marathon?


  1. Movie marathons rule!
    Nothing makes me feel better than sucessfully completing a movie marathon. I also like the fact that I can participate in a marathon without putting my body through any real physical strain (excepting of course that all of the food and drink that is consumed is potentially damaging).
    Great suggestions.
    I've found that coming up with concepts wil never be difficult. Just using Sly Stallone flicks alone you can come up with at least a dozen potential marathon.
    The next one that I am looking forward too is the Punisher ('89), Cobra, Punisher ('04) marathon. Man, that is gonna be great.

  2. I have never been to a movie marathon, but the Hamburger one sounds interesting.

    Funny stuff!

  3. Guy, I wish I could see you with a fake mustache. I bet you look sexy! I love your webpage!

  4. Once when babysitting I had to watch 3 Land Before Time films, so I guess that was a marathon.
    BTW I would also like to see Sweetie Guy in a fake mustache.