Thursday, August 19, 2004

The greatest Burts and Berts of all time

Throughout history many a powerful man has been saddled with the Moniker Burt. These brave men have persevered and excelled while non-Berts have fell by the wayside. Many a small child has looked at a poster on his wall and proclaimed "I wanna be like Burt."

It is with this in mind that we have chosen 10 of the greatest Berts and Burts of all time. We have assembled them, so that you, wallowing in the mediocrity of your non-Bertness will look to them for hope. That is unless your name is Burt, and then, good for you.

The greatest Burts and Berts of all time:

10. Burt Ward:
Burt Ward portrayed Robin, the Boy Wonder on the TV series Batman. Robin was actually Dick Grayson, Bruce Wayne's youthful ward.
Taken in by Bruce after his parents were murdered, he was a crime fighter. His religion was never mentioned, but he often used the word 'holy' to describe things.

9. Francis Burt
The first governor of the Nebraska Territory. Burt County, NE is named after him.

8. Burt County, NE
Named after the first governor of the Nebraska Territory.

7. Burt Bacharach
Famed singer and songwriter. Never lived in Burt County, NE.

6. Burt Tansky
President and CEO of Neiman Marcus he shepherded the store to international prominence through a combination of uncompromising quality in merchandise, unwavering commitment to customer service, and a host of retailing innovations. He also looks like Gordon Jump.

5. Q-Bert
Berts don't get much better than Q-Bert. The video game icon is also the number 2 'Q-' just behind Q-Tip.

4. Burt Young
As one of the stars of the Rocky series, Burt Young made quite an impact. As Paulie, Rocky's long suffering brother in law, Burt was always the center of attention.

3. Bert
Ernie's best friend on Sesame Street. Bert may be a nerd, but he is PROUD to be a nerd, and that almost makes him cool. Bert has a paperclip and bottle cap collection AND is obsessed with pigeons. He is only one obsession away from a Star Trek convention.

2. Burt Reynolds
The legendary Burt Reynolds. Wearer of one of the greatest mustaches of all time (take that Selleck!) Burt has graced the screen in close to 100 films. He takes a backseat to no one... except Burt Lancaster.

1. Burt Lancaster
The 6' 2" Burton Lancaster was one of five children born to a New York City Postal Worker. He was a tough street kid who took an early interest in gymnastics. Let me repeat that:
He starred in many classic feature films and had the kind of star power few others have. He was one helluva Burt!

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