Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Baby Huey's Great Easter Adventure Part 7

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Part 7

The mystery has started to be peeled away. Peeled away like the many layers of an onion. Although under the layers of an onion is just more onion.

And I don't like onions.

Anyhoo, it seems the world has not sat back and watched my dissension into Baby Huey inspired madness without trying to keep me in check.

Take a look at what I found on dontdatehimgirl.com:

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Very manipulative...Don't date him....he is a cheater.

What? What have I ever cheated at? Maybe once at chess when I was in high school and I was dating that snooty chick from the chess team. Maybe then I moved one of those horsey pieces in an "L" pattern that featured an extra space so I could establish a check mate that I couldn't get otherwise.

And maybe I made out with her kid sister in the shed behind the pool.

But, ask her kid sister... I never cheated on her.

Of course I never actually dated her.

He also has a Four Brothers poster that has Spiro Agnew's name written over some dude's eyes.

Some dude? Some dude? That's Mark Wahlberg! Marky Mark! Star of such films as Boogie Nights and The Big Hit.

Get your facts straight before you write something on the internet!
[EDIT: after inspecting the poster I noticed that "Elvis Presley" is written over Marky Mark's eyes. "Spiro Agnew" is actually written on 'some dude.'

Isn't that weird? And what's with the Tarot Card Barbie and this obsession with Baby Huey.

Even I don't have an answer for this. Perhaps this website has become entangled in a web of Baby Huey. Maybe we shall never see the light again. Maybe we will be stuck in time. Like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day we will be forced to live the same nonsense again and again. Then if we do break away from our PCs we will roam the country with no purpose, just like Bill Murray in Broken Flowers. Or maybe we could have an elephant like that movie Bill Murray did with that elephant.

I love Bill Murray.

I hate him and I hope he gets run over by a steam roller and I hope someone drops a piano on his head. I also hope that the Simple Life gets renewed for a fifth season. Frasier, too. Unless that isn't on the air anymore. Furthermore I think taxes should be lowered and we need stop the double dipping.

Finally this starts to make perfect sense. I loved that episode of Frasier where Bill Murray was chasing that groundhog! Then Frasier's brother was acting all gay and then Frasier's dad said "stop being such a pansy" then Cliff and Norm thought he was talking to them so they went and did the voices for Pixar movies.

That was a great show.

Bottom line, don't love him even though he is an outlaw and ladies love outlaws like babies love stray dawgs.

Words to live by.


  1. Anyone come close to cracking the code yet? Anyone still reading?

  2. Also, feel free to visit Don't Date Him Girl and post your opinions about me.

  3. I have no opinions but I do have another picture.

  4. I always suspected you were a bra cheese dipper.

  5. Anonymous7/12/2006

    Bra cheese?

  6. FROM THE dontdatehimgirl.com comments section:

    One time
    7/12/2006 8:40:00 AM
    He went out with two girls at the same time. One was at a fine restaurant, the other at a movie theater. He kept excusing himself and then changing clothes and running back to the other place.

    Wait, maybe that was on Growing Pains.

    He'll make you dress like a muppet
    7/11/2006 2:38:00 PM
    Me and one of my roommates dated him. Afterwards we compared notes. He made us both dress like muppets! He made me wear an Elmo costume and then he spanked me while saying ""Elmo's been a bad monster.""
    My friend who is tall and blonde was asked to dress in a Big Bird costume. Then he stuck her feet in a bucket of gravy and threw baloney slices at her.

    I hate him.

    Didn't wear pants to Freindly's
    7/11/2006 2:35:00 PM
    One time we went out for ice cream and he went pantsless. I told him to put on pants and he said that I ""wasn't being freindly.""

    Poor reception
    7/11/2006 2:33:00 PM
    His wireless service gets poor reception in buildings and tunnels. It's not so much a complaint about him as it is a complaint about his wireless service. Still, he should get a new phone.

    Let's get down to bidness
    7/11/2006 2:31:00 PM
    This boy is esactly the lutamus maxmus the other ladies say he is. No more filibustrin' lest he tries to do a cadillac on ya. He is evil from his fisties to his belly-welly. Don't let him come at you with no plunder, jest hit 'em in the thang till he starts unclin' from the ragtaggin' durin' this hully gully.

    I remember him!
    7/11/2006 12:47:00 PM
    He votes libertatian but chides me for being in the NRA! this is the last time i sleep with somebody who smells crazier than I do. burn in hell!
    He was such a jerk. he used to wake me up by sucking the chocolate off of Raisinettes and spit the leftover raisin at me! If you see him, kill him. Not only did he cheat on me with his ex. But he tried to sell me stuff I already owned. Did you think to look at the name tag on those thongs, you idiot?

    I remember him!
    7/11/2006 12:46:00 PM
    OMG! i remember this guy! He paid more attention to my Chia pet than me!

    I hope
    7/11/2006 12:31:00 PM
    I hope someone knocks this bastard down. Flat on his backo. I hope he lays there, on his backo, looking up saying why I am knocked flat on my backo.
    I can't wait for that. The sweet irony of seeing this monster on his backo. I would walk by him as he lie there on his backo. Lying on the ground like he lies to so many women. Lying on his backo. Right on the backo. That would be great. I hope it hurts him to be knock flat on his backo.

    Oh shoot. I made a few typos. I mean't ""back"" not ""backo.""

    Still, I hope he gets knocked flat... flat on either his back or backo.

    7/11/2006 12:25:00 PM
    Took me to a movie... bitched about the plot holes, continiuty errors and lack of boobies Wouldn't let me buy popcorn. Isisted on pouring cheese into my bra and dipping nachos in it.

    Cheated in High School
    7/11/2006 12:23:00 PM
    He is a cheap date. He took me to KFC and stole my side of Mashed Potatoes.

    Cheated in High School
    7/11/2006 12:22:00 PM
    I know he did. I cheated with him. Or maybe that was some other dude. I hate him.

    Eats spaghetti with a spoon
    7/11/2006 12:20:00 PM
    What is up with that? Even Vanilla Ice would'nt do that. I want to go to Tunisa just to get away from this nutcase.

    One thing I forgot
    7/11/2006 12:18:00 PM
    His breath is often minty fresh... yet EVIL.

  7. Or should I have said cheese bra dipper?

  8. Anonymous7/12/2006

    I hate Italian food. And I hate Sweetie.

  9. Love the picture, Jason. I stuck it on my Myspace page.

  10. I'm glad I could help. Wow, you're friends with Shakespeare and Mrs. Buttersworth.

  11. Yeah, I hang with a bad crowd.

  12. I got invited to one of Mr. Peanut's parties once. Turns out he lives in a shack. That top hat and monocle are just an act.

  13. I didn't mean to say it was just an act. He really does wear a top hat and monocle. The phrase I was looking for was it's just for show. Though. Bro?

    Now that it looks like the Baby Huey saga is over I can't wait to see what zany schemes are next.