Thursday, May 19, 2005

eBay: The Paper Anniversary Edition

Everyone knows that the 25th anniversary is the "silver" anniversary. This means you should give a gift made of silver if you are celebrating someone's anniversary on that day.

Interestingly enough there are materials associated with every anniversary from 1-100.

100 seems like a bit much. If you were married at 20, you would have to live to 120 to get that gift. That has to be the rarest of them all. Perhaps that’s the "lock of Bigfoot's hair" anniversary.

Anyway, the first anniversary is called the "paper anniversary." Since is one year old this month I decided to do some shopping on eBay.

I typed in the word "paper" and took what came up.

Item #1:
VINTAGE c1955 SAALFIELD Paper Doll Set w/ Original Box

A paper doll set. I honestly never understood the point of these when I was a kid.

Probably because I was a boy.

Still, it seemed pointless. Even as a child I knew if you got a girl in her underwear the LAST thing you wanted to do was help her put her clothes back on.
I would just keep the paper dolls in their undies and have them talk about boys, practice kissing and have tickle fights.

This set is from 1955 the year that Marty travel back in to in the first Back to the Future film. Remember how Lorraine called him Calvin Klein and said she had "never seen purple underwear before" well, she obviously didn't own this doll set because one of the dolls is decked out in purple. Or perhaps it's pink and the contrast is off on my monitor. I'm not sure. Either way, the other girl has green and I bet if they had green, purple was a possibility. Lorraine was stupid.

These paper dolls had clothes that were meant to be laced on. This means that this would also be good on the thirteenth anniversary, the lace anniversary.

Hard to pass up for an opening bid of just $9.99.

Item #2:
Viceroy Cigarette Paper Sign As Your Dentist I Recommen

This headline is either supposed to read "Recommend" and is cut off or the dentist's name is Recommen.

Dr. Hank Recommen D.D.S.

He pronounces it "re-cow-min", but the idiots at the video store always mispronounce it. He also pronounces "Hank", "Hah-nick". He's a pompous jerk.

This is a poster from the days before the Surgeon General started telling people that smoking was bad. He's a pompous jerk, too.

Item #3:
The Paper (1994) - New DVD

Yes, no video collection would be complete without The Paper. This is probably the greatest paper anniversary present one could get.
The listing includes a great reviewer blurb:
"...[Keaton and Howard] are still on a simpatico wavelength..."
USA Today - p.4D - Mike Clark

That's a fascinating bit of information. If I'm correct, a "simpatico wavelength" is some kind of jet ski. Ahhh, I can picture the two of them out there, breaking the waves. What fun. I assume Howard does all the steering, and Keaton rides shotgun.

Well, those are some of the gifts I could have gotten for this milestone. I honestly don't want any of them. I would prefer to get gifts for the SECOND ANNIVERSRY. I don't know what material is associated with that, but I hope its ham.

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