Thursday, February 17, 2005

A Very Special Dear bunchojunk

This is a special edition of “Dear  bunchojunk”. I know, that is about as necessary as a directors cut of "Gigli". But lets face it, I ran out of ideas for this site way back before Christmas.

Today, rather than the usual fake advice column, I want to take a look at REAL junk mail. Yes, as if you didn’t get enough spam in your inbox, now I am making you read mine.

I get TONS of spam. I probably get more than most people because my email account is linked on the website and email bots scroll through the web spamming every address they can. Let us take a look.

Letter #1
hey folks,
You can now be the house just like Vegas or Atlantic
Your fortune is in setting up a cas!no, go now
Dial 1 - 8 77- 7 99- 2192 Ext: 85 (24 x 7)

Cas!no Deus. popularidade surgir, entanto,
e multid=F5es -
abra=E7o para Tereza um e
ben=E7=E3o abra=E7o categorias: Desta
ok, bye,

WHAT? I assume this is not the same Nettie that posts on this site. I never knew "Nettie" was a common name.
Perhaps the clever machines also pick names off of the site.
“hey folks” what a great opening! It’s informal, a bit down home and plural for my tastes, but a great opening. I am also happy to hear that I can be the house like Vegas or Atlantic. Not the dumpy city in New Jersey, but apparently the ENTIRE Atlantic.
I must buy a bigger home if I am going to be able to house all of those chain smoking senior citizens.
! have no !dea why they used an exclamat!on po!nt !nstead of the letter “i” but ! l!ke !t.
As for the foreign stuff I assume it says “cas!no, twice as popular as sugar ESPECIALLY when multiplied by the F5 bomber that the government is secretly creating to turn the real casinos into a mushroom cloud. Then cas!no will rule the world. We categorically detest the poor.”
ok, bye,

Letter #2

Abra=E7os", Amrita" de
ela pessoas boca, se a
pode Ao duas faz
- de construir primeiras =C9
shop dot . info / r
best regards,

Thanks Lessie, what would I do without my

Letter #3:

T!red of making a "Salary"
A New business in the form of Caassino for yoouuu
Get going buddy, Call now 1 - 877 - 799 - 21 92 Ex t:85
a de pessoas ap=F3s
demonstrando Amma =E0
seguidores. intenso que se Eu
mente." ao cada do


No Mario, I should be THANKING YOU! I am tired of making a “Salary”.

This whole “getting paid money on a regular and consistent basis is for losers." If only I could “Get going buddy” and decide whether I want a “cas!no” or a “Caassino”!!!!! What should I do!

Letter #4:
hey friend,
my father found this site on net

que "Uma Oceano
uma 3 perguntam. faísca
Espiritual. de -
ou na inauguração Ela Mas

best regards,

Thanks, friend. You father sounds like a wise man. He must be, to have raised you to be such a good letter writer. Ask him about my “cas!no” or “Caassino” dilemma. Maybe he can find an answer on the net.
By the way, Daphne, can’t we be more than just friends? I want to be closer to you, and if the stars align right, your father can be MY father-in-law and he can give me more of that great medical info he finds on the net.

Also, tell your dad about
I found it on the net.
We could buy lab coats and stethoscopes and pretend to be doctors as we give each other medical info.
One more thing, ironically I found this site: about the New Jersey Nets. You will never guess WHERE I found it- on the net! Is there nothing this net can’t do?

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