Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Burger King's Xbox Games

Here is an odd bit of marketing. For $3.99 at Burger King you can get one of three different Xbox games. I bought all three... and I don't even have an Xbox.

Yeah, as I sit here holding these three plastic discs in my hand I think " I wish I hadn't chosen the PS2!" I also think "geez, if I set these three plastic discs down it will be much easier to type."

I'm quite a thinker.

Anyway, here is all the info I have on the three games:

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PocketBike Racer: This is a game based on those stupid little motorcycles called pocketbikes that seem to be a big fad lately. I don't get this fad. What's next? Clown cars? It's just stupid.

Anyway, apparently this game has customizable bikes, and you can choose one of five tracks to race on. A Burger King restaurant parking lot, a construction site, a backyard, the King's garden or the Fantasy Ranch set.

I would probably just play in the parking lot and after about 30 seconds of making my character look silly riding a clown bike I would have him go into the restaurant and order a Big Mac. Then he'd look even stupider when they told him that they don't see Big Macs at Burger King. Embarrassed, my character would slink away with a Whopper. Then as he took a bite a pickle would slide out of the burger and onto his white shirt. Then a group of teenage girls would laugh at him.

Minutes later he would arrive home and hang himself in the closet.

Oh damn you PS2!!! Damn you for making me miss the fun of PocketBike Racer!

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Big Bumpin': Oh man, I was excited when I heard that Brooke Burke was in this game! Brooke Burke in a game called Big Bumpin'!

Then I found out it was a bumper cars game.

Oh well, at least you get the chance to steer Brooke, the King or the Subservient Chicken.

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Sneak King: This might be the coolest of the bunch. Oh how I rue the day I chose a Play Station 2!

In this one you play as the King, sneaking around delivering fast food to hungry people. I am not totally sure why you would be sneaking around, but man does that fun!

Maybe you have to sneak around so you can get away from the hungry person AFTER they eat the junk food BEFORE they get severe stomach cramps.

A three really sound like a hoot. They sound like a HOOT, I say!

By that I mean they sound fun, not that they sound like that movie Hoot where a group of kids try and stop a pancake house from being built on an owl preserve.

THAT was no fun. Plus, who likes OWLS more than PANCAKES? No one, that's who.

So in summary, I want an Xbox for Christmas... and pancakes.

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