Wednesday, September 06, 2006

More from the Closet

Sadly not everything I start gets finished. No, I have bunches and bunches of stuff that never gets completed.

And like any well meaning person, I save ALL of it. Just like you might save knick knacks, baby pictures and episodes of Breaking Bonaduce.

I bet your closet is full of that stuff.

Just like the closet.

You know if I write short sentences, the article looks bigger!

Especially if I put spaces between each line.

Isn't that cool?

Anyway, what follows is more of the junk that WASN'T fit to print before.

First up is a photo that WOULD have been part of an article about Lassie and Mister Rogers.

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It's pretty cool. Still, it can't hold a candle to this other deleted passage about mustaches:

I love mustaches. I am so glad they don't cause cancer. You know, because so many cool things seem to cause cancer.
But not mustaches.
Imagine the panic that would grip the nation if we found out that mustaches were infecting the faces of men everywhere. Think of how conflicted Burt Reynolds would be. Cancer? Or being mustache-less.
I bet he would keep the mustache.
I also bet Morgan Spurlock would shave his 'stache.

Yes, I had my finger on the pulse of America that day. Speaking of mustaches, here is an unfinished piece that has nothing to with mustaches.

Kevin Costner made a few movies about baseball. Bull Durham, For Love of the Game, even Dances With Wolves is kind of about baseball.
Think about it. Costner is the home team, the wild west is Dodger Stadium and that guy who played the painter on "Murphy Brown" is Hee-Seop Choi.
Of course you never want to

I'm not sure how I planned to end that sentence, but I hope it had something to do with Injuns... or the balk rule.

There is tons more gripping, high quality concepts that you really need to check out. For example, my examination of how I look "with" and "without" my hands in my pockets:

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It's tough to choose whether I like "with" or "without." They both have their advantages. For example: if a hot chick was about to trip and fall I would have a better chance to catch her if I went with the "without" look. Of course, if it was a smelly dude who was covered in marmalade "with" would probably give me better excuse for not helping him.

I know it seems stupid, but wouldn't this site have benefited from those photos? Or how about a photo of a little car:
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Yes, it may have done some good. Still, I can take comfort in the fact that you have now seen it. And the closet now has more room for my new bowling ball.

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