Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Planet Hollywood: Atlantic City

I don't like Atlantic City.

It is really cool that you can see street signs for exciting places you know from Monopoly, but if you actually GO to "Saint James Place" all you'll likely find is a vagrant peeing on a wall.

I'd rather just stay home and play the game.

Plus, that way I get to be a wheelbarrow.

Still, there are some good things about Atlantic City and at the top of that list is Planet Hollywood.


I have been to a whole bunch of them: NYC, Niagara Falls, Orlando... uh... maybe I have only been to three.

This one is located right on the boardwalk among the casinos, fast food joints and shops where you can buy 3 T-Shirts for $10 and still feel like you were ripped off.

On my last visit I was overjoyed to see Mr. Hollywood!

Looking like the bastard child of Mr. Met and Willie Wonka, Mr. Hollywood stood at the door waving people inside.

I was so excited I jumped next to him for a photo.

The illusion was ruined however since I could hear "Mr. Hollywood" cursing in Spanish to someone over a headset.

Perhaps this wasn't Mr. Hollywood at all! Maybe it was his evil twin Senor El Segundo.

The food is a notch better than diner fare, but where else can you eat pizza underneath Spock's ears?

I would bet this is the only chain that offers that experience.

Here is a haiku I wrote on the subject.

The Spock Ears Haiku:

Atlantic City, gamble gamble
Where else do you get to sit by lobes?
Lobes of Spock
El Segundo?
Cranberry sauce

I just remembered that I never learned how to write a haiku. I am sorry to have wasted everyone’s time.

Speaking of time wasters, as your order is being filled; this restaurant has a fun puzzle on the menu. There are a few dozen celebrity "high school yearbook" photos and you have to guess who they are.

I personally loved the photos of Jennifer Garner and Wesley Snipes.

I was pleased to know that I would have had a shot with Jennifer Garner back then. I was equally pleased to know that Wesley wouldn't have a shot.

One of the trademark features of Planet Hollywood is large movie vehicles hanging from the ceiling. Atlantic City is no exception.

My favorite is the gold coffin vehicle from 'The Munsters.'

They call it 'The Dragula.'

All in all, the place is pretty ordinary when it comes to Planet Hollywood, but it is still worth a visit if you are in town. Don't look for the vagrant on Saint James Place, however, he heard that he might have a shot with Jennifer Garner and is currently hitchhiking to L.A.

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