Friday, February 06, 2009


I love obscure movies... you know, the movie that you mention to a room full of people and they all stare back at you like your either crazy or an idiot?

Well, that's the part about obscure movies I don't like... but there is some satisfaction to know that you have seen a movie that most people you know haven't seen.

Such is the case with North.
Image Hosted by

On the surface, North doesn't seem like an obscure movie at all. It certainly didn't appear to be one when I saw it in a theater back in 1994. But, time hasn't been kind to North.

The film is the story of a kid who decides to be a "free agent" and auditions new parents. North is played by Elijah Wood and features an all star cast including: Bruce Willis, John Lovitz, Kathy Bates, Dan Aykroyd, John Ritter, Faith Ford, Alan Arkin and it was directed by Meathead himself, Rob Reiner.

One of the most bizarre aspects of the film is the casting of North's parents. Jason Alexander and Julia Louis Dreyfus both of Sienfeld fame play his mom and dad. It's just weird.

It would be like watching some movie where Hayley Mills has Gilligan and The Skipper as parents.

They look and act just like George and Elaine... yet they are married and they gave birth to a hobbit (he was a hobbit, right?)

Bruce Willis plays the narrator and is a magic character that pops up in whatever situation North needs him. He's like Dennis Rodman (except he doesn't look like Dennis Rodman or resemble him in personality or any other way.)

The film garnered terrible reviews when it was released, particularly from Siskel and Ebert who gave the film 2 thumbs down.

In his written review Ebert said:

"I hated this movie. Hated hated hated hated hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it."

That being said... I liked this movie. Liked liked licked licked licked this movie. Licked it. Licked the cover and thought it tasted like plastic. Licked the DVD and thought it was D.V.Deelicious.

Actually, that isn't true.

North isn't on DVD and it never has been. You can still get a used VHS copy for less than the price of a box of wine but you can't get a DVD.

The film does show up on cable from time to time and is worth a look... if for no other reason than to upset Roger Ebert.

Also if you DON'T think the film is funny, think of this fun fact during the movie:

Roger Ebert and Oprah Winfrey went on multiple dates in the 1980s.

Now think of Roger talkin' dirty to Oprah... now picture Gilligan talkin' dirty to The Skipper.


  1. Tomorrow I review Mr. North. Then North & South. Then North by Northwest.

    I assume they are all sequels.

  2. I think North & South is an animated movie about a penguin and polar bear that get released from the zoo but sent to the wrong poles, penguin to the north and bear to the south.

    P.S. I hope you didn't lick the used VHS.