Monday, July 02, 2007

Some Phat Movies

When I was a lad I worked in a video store.

It was a really awesome. I just sat around and watched G and PG rated films all day.

Occasionally people would ask for my recommendations. If you are familiar with this site, you would know what a dangerous idea that is.

Still, it happened. And, after a few weeks of telling people to watch movies starring talking chimps I realized I should keep my opinions to myself.

So, when asked I simply recommended whatever mainstream nonsense was new and not renting well.

This too proved dangerous.

One day a couple came in to the store. The lady walked up to me and asked:

"What's good?"

I told her "we have Primal Fear, Clean Slate, Phat Beach..."

Suddenly the man turned to me with anger.

"Whoa, meng! Did yoo jus' call my wife a fat beeetch?"

I started stuttering "uh, no. That- uh-"

"Because," he continued "she's really not that fat."

Then we hi-fived and went out for a cold sarsaparilla.

Actually, that never happened. To be honest with you I worked as a dental hygienist when I was younger.

Still, there is a movie called "Phat Beach."

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It features Coolio and a guy named Jermaine "Huggy" Hopkins.

I bet he's Anthony "Huggy" Hopkins' kid.

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I wonder if you met him and asked for a hug if he would be legally obligated to do so.

I checked his IMDB page, and he seems to be pretty active in the movie business. He also occasionally goes by Jermaine "Big Hugg" Hopkins.

Why is it that people either have NO nickname or they have several.

Like Sean Combs. He's Puffy, Puff Daddy, P. Diddy, Diddy, Pooty Pau Duex and Shemp.

Or "Weird" Al Yankovic. Actually, he just has one nickname. I'm sorry I brought this whole thing up.

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Phat Girlz is a new movie. The poster claims "She's proving that BIG is beautiful."

She proves this by sitting on a bunch of hot chicks.

Here is a thread about Phat Girlz from IMDB.

On a scale of 1 to 10

by rick_spinelli (Thu Mar 8 2007 18:43:26)


I SAY A 10

Re: On a scale of 1 to 10

by rick_spinelli (Sun Mar 11 2007 16:39:07)



Re: On a scale of 1 to 10

by nodnarb232001 (Mon Mar 12 2007 02:13:26)

Re: On a scale of 1 to 10

by bilsnod (Mon Mar 12 2007 06:41:34)

Definitely 10!
Re: On a scale of 1 to 10

by rick_spinelli (Mon Mar 12 2007 08:08:13)


10 IS TEH PHATTEST!!!!!!!!
Re: On a scale of 1 to 10

by rick_spinelli (Wed Mar 14 2007 10:17:13)

by the way, if anyone wants 2 see britney spears shaving her head goto <-----CRAZY HOW SHE DOES IT
Re: On a scale of 1 to 10

by rick_spinelli (Thu Apr 5 2007 11:25:50)

Girl, I wanna waller in the back of my Impala

I can't believe no one made a joke about the scale being broken.

Stupid posters.

The next film is My Big Phat Hip Hop Family
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The DVD claims they "put the dis in dysfunctional."

I would have said they "put the funk in dysfunctional."

Then I would have admitted to being a bad speller.

Finally, there is a movie from 1916 called The Phable of the Phat Woman.

Don't believe me? See for yourself: click here.

Sorry, wrong link. Click here.

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