Wednesday, March 21, 2007

A Very Brady Christmas

A yes, what better way to welcome the springtime than with "A Very Brady Christmas?"

This TV reunion special appeared on TV back in either the late 1980s or the early 1990s. I don't remember.

To be honest, I don't remember that much about the show, but I recorded it off ABC Family Channel a few Christmases ago.

Let's look at it together:

Ahhhhh, a grid full of Brady's! That can only mean one thing... the worst edition of "Hollywood Squares" ever broadcast!

Yes, he is out of focus, but that is Mike Brady. Check out his work out wear. Very stylish. They turned the den into a mini-gym. Look at the weight bench... way to pump that iron! That must be two or three pounds on that bar!

Wait a second! What happened to the Brady's house? Why does everything look like it's made out of yogurt?

I am not sure what was happening here. Perhaps it's a good thing that Barry William's name is blocking everything from our view.

I bet you all know that Robert Reed, who played Mike, was gay. Here he looks like he was trying to make sure EVERYONE knew it. Maybe it was just the style of the era.
He looks like he's either gay, a Latin-born ladies man or Lee Van Cleef.

Hey look! Alice is back! I am so happy to see her! I bet she is happy to see all of us.

Uh... maybe not.

Commercial break: Hey look, I recorded this back when Jennifer Aniston was doing that movie where Kevin Costner was sleeping with her, her mom and her grand-mom. Remember that?
No? Well trust me, it was a real movie.

Back to the Brady's we see this wuss. He's married to Marcia.

Here is Greg. Big ole suck up, Greg. First Dad got a perm, then Greg got a perm. Now Greg has a mustache. Gotta be just like daddy, don't ya?

Commercial break: The were really pushing this show "Wildfire." I guess they hoped it would catch on... like wild fire.
Hahahahaha! I am going to go laugh until I lose consciousness. Wildfire, hee hee hee.

Oh good Lord! Mike is on fire! HEEELLLLLPP! Mike is flaming! Oh, it's just a banner ad for "Wildfire."
Excuse me. I have to laugh again. "Flaming!" Haaaa haaaa.

Remember this stupid chump? He was the one that wanted architect Mike Brady to cut corners on a new building. Stupid man. Mike don't play that way.

Peter Brady makes out with his new TV gal pal. Somewhere his future bride, Adrianne Curry, was celebrating her third birthday.

Hey look! It's Bobby Brady! Remember this? He was a racecar driver. "Racecar" spelled backward is "racecar." "Racecar" spelled incorrectly is "Racceacr."
Look! ABC Family is one of his sponsors!

Here is Jan an her wussy husband. I am not sure why he has a fish tank on his lap. I hate him.

Commercial break: I wonder if the JOKE4 text service is still around. I will try and remember this!

Back to the show, we find Alice at the airport in LA. Look, it's the Encounter restaurant! It's one of my favorites. It was designed by some Disney employers who wanted to give it a "Jetsons" feel! Really!
I love it, and I recommend you guys check it out if you ever go to LAX. I wish I had a joke here.
Wait! Let me text JOKE4! Sending... recieving... ok, here it is:
A man walks into a bar. He lights up a cigarette. The bartender says "Hey! You can't smoke in here!" The man says "Can I watch the hit TV show 'Wildfire?'" The bartender then beats the man to death with a bottle of Pabst Blue Ribbon.

Wow, that was worth seventy five cents! I have to go laugh myself silly again.
Oh dear, I think I'm getting a nose bleed.

Commercial break: The Burger King is playing King Kong in this spot. I could really go for a Kong Sized Double Whopper right now.

Commercial break: The video professor! I love these commercials. This guy keeps referring to the CD as his "product."
"Try my product!" He said it six times in thirty seconds! Hysterical!

Oh boy, while we were having fun watching the commercials that building caved in. Mike warned them, and now he has to save him.
Think of this jackass as B. Brian Blair, the building as The Iron Sheik and Mike Brady as Hacksaw Jim Duggan.
Save him, Hacksaw! Save him!

Suddenly, Mike is trapped! Oh good lord! If only we could find a way to save him!
No one has any ideas except Cindy... uh... or a girl who looks kinda like Cindy. I guess the real Cindy was just too busy... TO SAVE HER TV DAD.
Well, anyway, fake Cindy tells mom to sing. Singing always helps people escape from certain death.
This ain't going to work. Mike is stuck in there, FOREVER!

Oh. Nevermind.


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