Mocking the List: Top Ten Hot Dog Eating Ballparks in the U.S.

Here is a list I never thought existed: Top Ten Hot Dog Eating Ballparks in the U.S.

Let's take a look:
Top Ten Hot Dog Eating Ballparks in the U.S. (2004)

1. Dodger Stadium (Los Angeles Dodgers) 1.61 million
2. Coors Field (Colorado Rockies) 1.5 million
3. Wrigley Field (Chicago Cubs) 1.47 million
4. Yankee Stadium (New York Yankees) 1.3 million
5. Minute Maid Park (Houston Astros) 1.2 million
6. Angel Stadium (Los Angeles Angels) 1.1 million
7. Ameriquest Field (Texas Rangers) 996,000
8. Metrodome (Minnesota Twins) 883,500
9. Jacobs Field (Cleveland Indians) 595,000
10. Camden Yards (Baltimore Orioles) 400,000

Fascinating. Well, actually it's not all that fascinating.

OK, I did find it fascinating that Houston named their baseball team after the Jetson's dog. Other than that it is pretty boring.

That is until you look at THIS list:

Top Ten Ballparks in the U.S. by Attendance (2004)

1. Yankee Stadium (NY Yankees) 3,775,292
2. Dodger Stadium (LA Dodgers) 3,488,283
3. Angel Stadium (LA Angels) 3,375,677
4. Citizen's Bank Park (Philadelphia Phillies) 3,206,532
5. SBC Park (San Francisco Giants) 3,258,864
6. Wrigley Field (Chicago Cubs) 3,170,184
7. Minute Maid Park (Houston Astros) 3,087,872
8. Busch Stadium (St. Louis Cardinals) 3,048,427
9. Petco Park (San Diego Padres) 3,040,046
10. SAFECO Field (Seattle Mariners) 2,940,731

Now I see something interesting!

Let's see that attendance list again:
1. NY Yankees
Still, with all that attendance they are only #4 in hot dogs! New Yorkers. I bet if there was a list of Ten Ten Hot Dog Stealing Ballparks they would rank pretty high. I know all about the rampant crime in that city, I saw Spiderman.
2. LA Dodgers
#1 in hot dogs.
3. LA Angels
Sure they are confused and think they aren't actually in Anaheim, 45 minutes from L.A., but that should not excuse them being ONLY #6 in hot dogs!
4. Philadelphia
Doesn't even RANK in the top ten in hot dogs. It's no wonder the Phillie Phanatic has a hot dog launcher. They can't SELL the hot dogs, so they give 'em away.
5. San Francisco
Not on the list in terms of hot dogs. Pathetic. I shall take a moment to assert my hatred for San Francisco thusly: Stupid, stupid San Francisco. You don't buy enough hot dogs. Why does anyone like San Francisco anyway? All they have is a big red bridge! Bridges are everywhere in the world. No one else gets all excited about theirs! We just pay a toll and cross them. But you act like you are all so special because of your stupid bridge. Next time you plan on opening your mouth to talk about your stupid bridge, I hope someone sticks a hot dog in it. Stupid San Francisco.
6. Chicago Cubs
Eating more than their share, they are #3 in hot dogs.
7. Houston
Houston, we have no problem. #5 in hot dogs.
8. St. Louis
9. San Diego
10. Seattle
Slackers all three of you cities that start with an "s", none of you made the hot dog list!

This list certainly creates more questions than it answers, for instance:

Colorado Rockies are home to the second biggest hot dog buying audience in the major leagues, yet they are only 15th in attendance. They had 2.3 million customers in 2004. They sold 1.5 million hot dogs. I was never good at math, but I think that's like 23 hot dogs per person.

Coloradans are gluttons.

Lastly, no one should be surprised that the Dodgers lead this list. The Dodger Dog is about as famous the Big Mac (or at least the Filet O Fish) and I imagine many fans just buy that hot dog out of tradition. You HAVE to have a Dodger Dog.

Otherwise it would be like going to Minute Maid Park and not seeing George Jetson and his dog.