Wednesday, August 17, 2005
A Larry King Book
Found this in the back of my closet. It may have been a birthday present. Or maybe it came with the closet. I am not sure.
It's about 10 years old and is just transcripts of some of Larry's best interviews during his first 10 years on CNN.
Here is a selection of times the word "prop" is used:
#1-Bob Hope (1985): Doesn't inhale. That's a prop. The cigar is a prop.
#2&3-Larry King: So you, this is both a prop and a-
George Burns (1989): A prop.
#4 Larry King (to Bill Cosby 1991): You don't use it? You smoke it, but you don't use it as a prop?
#5&6 Larry King (to Oprah Winfrey 1995): Why don't the people know that they're props? Because they are props, right?
#7 Persian Sheik Sigh Akabah (1996): I took the dead bodies of their families and propped them up in the window.
Ugh. Should have stopped at Oprah.
Speaking of which, the most titillating section of the book comes when Oprah and Larry are discussing what I can only assume is what celebrities they most want to have sex with (I have taken the liberty of capitalizing select words and adding Oprah's name to words that end in an "o" sound):
LARRY KING: Who do you want to have, Princess Di? Is she the one everyone-
OPRAH WINFREY: Well, you knOprah I'd love to DO her. Wouldn't you like to DO her?
LARRY KING: She wouldn't be my number one, nOprah.
OPRAH WINFREY: She would not?
LARRY KING: No. I'd really like to DO Al Pacino.
OPRAH WINFREY: Really?
LARRY KING: I'm fascinated.
OPRAH WINFREY: Do you want to DO O.J.?
LARRY KING: Sure.
OPRAH WINFREY: Yeah, I do too. Sure.
I have never been sOprah turned on, and then sOprah repulsed, and then turned on, and then threw up a little and then went to the deli to buy a Snapple and then ran into an old buddy on the way home and talked to him about prOprah wrestling and then… uh what was I talking about?