Mr. T Salt and Pepper Shakers

I have a HUGE collection of Mr. T stuff. So much so that my entire living room has wall to wall Mr. T. Plus I have LITERALLY thousands of other items stored away.

So, I tend to be very picky when shopping for Mr. T items.

I like to get things that are important in some way. I want things worn by Mr. T or used in the production of a Mr. T show or comic book.

Most importantly I stay away from the un-authorized items. I like to make sure Mr. T gets a cut or else I don't want to buy it.

Here is one of the reasons why:

This is a Mr. T salt and pepper set. Homemade, but the craftsmanship appears very good... at first glance.

By glance, I mean GLANCE. Real quickly look and then turn away. Pretend you heard a girl running down the street naked. (If you can't HEAR the difference between 'nudity' and 'clothed' I refuse to call you a man.)

So, if you only GLANCE, they look great. Stare at them and... uh... they get a little worse.

Hold one and, lets face it, they are awful. And don't think about ACTUALLY using them.

The "regular" Mr. T is for pepper, and the... uh... lighter one is for salt.

Maybe I am being silly, but I didn't think it was necessary to change the man's RACE just to show the difference. Couldn't one wear black and the other wear white? Unless you use them after Labor Day THAT may be acceptable.

In addition to the bizarre color scheme there is a much bigger problem:

THEY DON'T WORK!!!!

Salt doesn't stay in the bottom because the cork is too small; conversely pepper is apparently too big to fit through the top.

I can only assume that Mr. T pities these seasoning shakers. You should too.