Filmmaker Reveals 20 Year Old Mystery

A bunchojunk.com press release
AP-In a hastily set up press conference out side the old Fox Theater in fabulous Hollywood California, director John Hughes addressed a throng of reporters to answer a two decade old question that had puzzled America.

What was the punch line to John Bender's joke?

In 1985 Hughes released a popular film called The Breakfast Club. Despite misconceptions that it was a film about a large plank cavemen used to kill their morning breakfast, the film was a hit.
During one famous scene the character of John Bender (played by Judd Nelson) uttered one of the most famous lines in motion picture history:

"A naked blond walks into a bar, with a poodle under one arm, and a two foot salami under the other. She lays the poodle on the table. Bartender says, "I suppose you won't be needing a drink." The naked lady says..."

After uttering the unfinished line Judd Nelson broke through the drop ceiling and never finished the line.

Now, on the 20th anniversary of the film, the country was able to breathe a sigh of relief. As Hughes said when he addressed the large crowd "The naked lady says 'I'm just here to see Ben Affleck.'"

It is not often that reporters laugh. This laughter was so loud and riotous that it could be heard as far away as El Segundo, Redondo, Palo Alto and many other California towns that sound more like a new menu item from Taco Bell.

Hughes had guarded the secret punch line closely over the years. "I will only reveal the answer after Judd Nelson passes away" Hughes famously promised back in 1987. Since then he has remained mum about the punch line.

In 1991, after a car wreck in downtown Las Vegas some thought Nelson might be dying. Sadly, he survived and the secret stayed with Hughes.

Until now.

Still, some doubt the punch line.

"Had anyone heard of Ben Affleck in 1985?" queried one puzzled bystander.

Indeed they had. Ben had played C.T. Granville in the short lived TV series "The Voyage of Mimi" just one year earlier.

Other bystanders just thought the joke would have been funnier if it was about Matt Damon.

Hughes was mum about why he chose this moment to reveal the punch line. Many believe it could have to do with the 20th anniversary of the film. Other say it is because Judd Nelson is "dead as far as Hollywood is concerned. Still others say "Hey, you aren't from a real newspaper! How did you get press credentials?"

Perhaps a new mystery is born.