Thursday, June 10, 2004


Cicadas! I have been going cicada crazy lately!

For those that don't know, cicadas are locust-like bugs that crawl up from the ground every 17 years. The only appear in 14 states along the eastern seabord. They are BIG ugly bugs with red eyes. They travel in swarms and make noise that sounds like a Gillete beard trimmer giving BIRTH to a chainsaw. BUZZZZZ BUZZZZZ.

Then they die.

You can barely walk without stepping on the crunchy carcasses of the cicada. The bugs are annoying and make awful noise; Not unlike pop star John Secada, but thats another story.

For some reason I have grown fond of them (the bugs not the songs of John Secada) because it just seems like something out of a sci-fi movie. Like Starship Troopers combined with... the music of pop star John Secada.

Let's get back to the death of the cicada. See the bugs live underground living off tree roots for 17 years and then they burrow out and then mate. The males die right after mating and the females die after laying thier eggs. Yup, thats why you see dead cicadas, because they were doin' it.

MALE CICADA #1: Buzzzz Hey Buddy!
MALE CICADA #2: What's up? Buzzzzzz
MALE CICADA #1: Buzzzz I just got lucky! I met this-
MALE CICADA #2: Hey! Are you okay? Buzzzz Hello? Help! I need a doctor! Buzzzz My friend is dead!

That is really sad. So we have a bunch of dead cicadas and what do people do?


The internet is full of websites of recipies for the giant bugs. People put them on pizza, and dip them in salsa and EAT them. This sounds crazy but people will eat anything. Look at mushrooms. A fungus that grows on cow manure and people eat them. Restaurants serve them! They list it in the ingredients of soup like they are PROUD of it!
So if you can eat fungus that grows on cow manure, why not a cicada? Not me, though. I once swallowed a gnat. That's more than enough bug for me.

Other Bugs:

"Bugsy" Siegel: "Bugsy" Siegel was a notorious mobster that created Las Vegas. He was portrayed in the 1991 film by Warren Beatty.

Bugs Bunny: Famous cartoon rabbit. Was the third choice behind Yogi Berra and Yosemitie Samma as a name for Mr. and Mrs. Berra son [they eventually went with Yogi Berra.]

Bug Hall: Actor, starred as Alfalfa in the 1994 film The Little Rascals. He also played Buster Stupid in The Stupids.

RELATED VIEWING: If you like cicadas, you will love the 1978 film The Bees.
The plot of The Bees is: humans have been poisoning the air for so many years that nature has fought back by sending us KILLER BEES. Now if that doesn't grab you how about this: This film features a swarm of bees addressing the United Nations, as Angel Thompkin's screams "You have to listen! You have to listen (sic) what the bees are trying to tell you!" I really had fun watching this, but I am truly amazed at how bad it is. There are surprising continuity errors. (In one scene hit men shoot a man as he is sitting in a chair. In the next shot, it's a different older chair.) Many of the shot's of the bee swarms look like they are just clouds of smoke. However, Nightmare On Elm Street's John Saxon is in it, and Claudio Brooks gets hit in the head with a rock. All in all I highly recommend it.

1 comment:

  1. I'd rather have bacon covered sausage - I just can't get that out of my mind.