Friday, July 02, 2004

Off-beat vacation spots

Roadside America: It would be wrong of me not to direct you to this fine site it is the BEST place to find off beat travel spots.

Today, just in time for the forth of July, I present some of my favorites, many of which, you will not find on Roadside America.

Sesame Place:
Do you have a trip planned to Langhorne Pennsylvania planned? No? Too bad, because it is home to the ONLY Sesame Street theme park in the world.
Many people mistakenly believe that "World Of Sesame" in Brazil is also a Sesame Street theme park. It is not, rather it is a sort-of spa where people soak in large vats of sesame seed oil to try to ward off evil spirits. If you ever go there tell Hector that Guy Hutchinson says "Hey, hey!" and that I still want my sneaker back.
Sesame Place is mostly a children's theme park, but can still entertain those who don't have any children.
For instance, who wouldn't want to have 'Dinner With Big Bird'? You can hug Big Bird and then chow down on a buffet that includes chicken fingers and chicken marsala. Yup, Big Bird serves you members of his own species, he is obviously very comfortable with his spot on the food chain.
Also at Sesame Place there are several live shows, water slides, a roller coaster and a rubber duckie the size of an SUV.

Wax Museums:
I love wax museums. There is nothing like seeing a wax sculpture of a celebrity in person. It's like being there with the celebrity, only much more fun. I spent 10 minutes once telling a wax statue of Eddie Murphy that I hated Metro. It was great.
Me: I hated Metro
Wax Eddie:
Me: Name one good thing about that movie! Name one!
Wax Eddie:
Me: I didn't think you could.

My favorite wax museum is Movieland Wax in fabulous Buena Park California. They have some of the most AMAZING sets I have ever seen. The sets include a replica of the Oval office, Texas Chainsaw Massacre and a HUGE set of the Poseidon Adventure. They also have an amazing likeness of Mr. T.
Another wax Mr. T statue Movieland Wax in Niagara Falls Canada. The statue in Niagara Falls is not as good a likeness, and the two museums are not affiliated (despite the similar name.)
One thing about wax museums is, a bad wax museum can be better than a good one. In a wax museum in Myrtle Beach South Carolina there were statues of Abe Lincoln, George Washington, Richard Nixon, Jimmy Carter and Ronald Reagan. They were all standing in a White House setting holding Bic pens and signing the Declaration of Independence. I am not sure if that statue or museum still exist, but I hope so. Then if aliens ever visit our planet they will believe that Lincoln, Washington, Carter, Nixon and Reagan were the fathers of our country.

Marvel's Adventure City:
A very unique theme park awaits your visit to Niagara Falls. Actually, it's more of an arcade, but It does have a few theme park rides and a theme park feel. Most interesting is the Spider-Man ride, a dark ride with guns and targets (not unlike Universal's Men In Black or Disney's Buzz Lightyear's Space Ranger Spin.)
Adventure City also features X-Men bumper cars. You may not see the tie in between X-Men and bumper cars at first, but think about it. If you were a mutant with metal rods extending from your knuckles, you would probably have a sub-par driving record; hence the bumper cars.

Gatorland! This is really cool. Part zoo, part... uh gator habitat. The best way to put it is this: at Gatorland alligators JUMP 6 feet out of the water to catch hunks of chicken meat. If only Big Bird was holding the chicken meat it would be the GREATEST place on earth.

Gravity Hill:
A bizarre spot in Pennsylvania where gravity does not EXIST. You can park your car and drop a tennis ball on the ground and it will roll UPHILL. Or pour out a water bottle, it will flow up hill. Bring Flo from the TV show ALICE, hit her with the tennis ball and she will say "Kiss my grits" UPHILL!
There are 'Gravity Hills' in 7 different states, but the Pennsylvania one was the only one I found with a gift shop.
Many of the gravity hills are considered to be HAUNTED! Most have legends about kids being killed and deciding to pull cars up a hill in the afterlife, or a chicken's ghost that is getting his revenge against Big Bird by pulling cars up a hill.
Do you want to know how they work?
The road's slight "rise" is, in fact, a "fall." Yes, contrary to what the eye perceived, gravity hills are actually a decline.
See, they are not actually a place where natures laws do not apply, but an optical illusion created by the land, the trees, etc.

Cheers Bars:
It doesn't matter if you live on the East Coast or the West Coast, you have a Cheers Bar. Now, if you live somewhere in the middle, you don't have one. But, you have Piggly Wigglys so quit complaining.
Cheers Boston: This bar is the outside street location. Doesn't really look like it on the inside, but it is great to look at on the outside. This IS the place where Jay Leno did the live show after the airing of the final episode. If you do not remember, everyone was drunk and Carla cursed on live TV. So, maybe you can reenact that when you go.
Plus, at Cheers Boston, you can buy Norm's Nuts in a can.

I refuse to make any jokes about this! I will say, however, that according to the can Norm's Nuts are extra large and salted. Uh, lets move on.

The Hollywood Entertainment Museum: in fabulous Hollywood California features the FULL set from Cheers as well as several other shows. So you can SIT in Cliff's seat, you can stand where Sam stood behind the bar, you can walk into Rebecca's office! It is really amazing! During football season they open the bar up free for Monday Night Football. You can drink and eat in the Cheers Bar. Life doesn't get better than that!

Colonel Sanders Museum:
Located in Kentucky, this is the original Colonel Sanders' restaurant. It also features a museum full of KFC artifacts. Plus you can eat chicken there. If only the Colonel was dressed in a Big Bird costume.

Ride The Ducks:
In Philadelphia they have the most unique tour you are likely ever to take. You step aboard a WWII Duk vehicle and they drive you through historic Philadelphia. You see Betsy Ross' house, Ben Franklin's grave, Larry Fine's (Three Stooges) birthplace and more. Then you drive directly into the water and the bus becomes a boat. Everyone aboard gets a chance to steer the 'duck' and then the tour concludes. The tour is funny and educational, plus, you get a special duck whistle so you can quack at pedestrians.
let me repeat that:

If that isn't fulfillment of a life long dream, what is?
One note about the Ducks, in addition to 'Ride the Ducks' there was a competitor named 'Super Ducks'. 'Ride' offers you a duck whistle called a WACKY QUACKER, 'Super' will give you a QUACKY QUACKER. What is the difference? I don't know. But I am sure they are both QUACKTASTIC!

What is your favorite off-beat vacation spot?


  1. Anonymous8/24/2005

    Foul! Foul! You can't defy gravity! That is not possible!

  2. Anonymous8/24/2005

    Foul! Foul! The whole idea of Norm's nuts is just foul!

  3. Anonymous8/24/2005

    Hey hey back to you! But, I can't find your shoe anymore. I think my do eaten it and hiden it. SHoot.

  4. Anonymous8/24/2005

    That duck ride quacks us up!

  5. Anonymous8/25/2005

    My favorite off beat vacation spot is Amish Country! It's cute, but it also can be downright hysterical! The old men churning butter is amusing, and usually there are hot guys putting shoes on the horses.

    I go there with my husband, Ashton Kutcher.