Wednesday, July 21, 2004

Obey the eBay

eBay. Lowercase 'e' capital 'b' lowercase 'a' and 'y'. The name is SO familiar to us that it looks WRONG when it is applied to standard capitalization rules. LOOK:


Looks wrong doesn't it?

How about:


Still looks wrong! Even though 3 kinda looks like a backwards 'e'. Let's try this:


Hmmmm. Well, I think I have lost my perspective on this. They all look wrong now.

Anyway, eBay is very famous. It is part of our culture and it is really cool. Where else could you find such AWESOME stuff.


Soul Jammers 45:
The 45 for Soul Jammers "Stone Soul"/"Tripping to Egypt" on SMAK records. Wow! A record label that is, in fact, a typo! Plus, what a cool name for a group. The Soul Jammers. I have never heard of them before, but I love them!
I bet "Stone Soul" is a tough guy number full of bravado. Here are lyrics that I just made up:

It's time for soul, soul like a stone
you can't play my soul go get your own
I like Spagettios with franks a whole bunch
I might have a can today for lunch
oh why don't they make Spaghettios with sausage?

Well, if the Soul Jammers love Spaghettios (and who doesn't?) that might be how the song goes.
"Tripping to Egypt" is probably a wacky trip to Egypt. I can see it now, they loose their luggage, and then they have to dress like woman for some reason. Then they can't find in their 'Egypt to English' dictionary how to draw a hieroglyphic for Spaghettios, and then finding out that Egyptian Spaghettios have camel meatballs. Wow, that song must be great!

The Frozen Margarita Candle:
A candle in the shape of a frozen margarita. Imagine the fun you could have with this! No more soggy matches from trying to light a regular margarita on fire, now you have a margarita candle. Just think of the practical joke possibilities:

Me: Hey, sexy woman, can I buy you a drink.
Sexy Woman: Sure, I am really thirsty.
Me: Would you like a frozen margarita? (hands drink)
Sexy Woman: (goes to sip) Arrrrrgggghhh! I am on fire! It burns! Help me! Help!
Me: Can I have your phone number?

And what better way to lighten the mood then with the Frozen Margarita Candle. Imagine that you are at a candlelight vigil. Everyone is sad and somber. Then, SUDDENLY, you whip out your frozen margarita candle and it's HAPPY HOUR.
Wow! The eBay ad says it "smells like the real thing", isn't that a plus? Now your whole house will smell like an alcoholic with a penchant for fruity drinks.

The Commemorative Sinbad Movie Ticket:
This is a beautiful full color ticket to commemorate the showing of this film somewhere on July 2, 2003. The item seller did not specify the name of the theater, but one could guess that it was in his home country of Canada.
Perhaps you never saw Sinbad. That makes this a great item. It will allow you to commemorate the fact that somewhere in the world someone was watching Sinbad.

Now you may be confusing this film with the ACTOR Sinbad. Star of House Guest and Good Burger. Oddly enough, Sinbad is not in this kiddie flick. Also of note, there is a comedy about a talking bird named Paulie that does not feature Pauly Shore. Perhaps you could get a ticket to commemorate the showing of that film as well.

What about if you had a set of items commemorating many big events in history:

You: This is my tragic events commemorative items. I have a replica life vest to commemorate the Titanic.
Other person: Oh, that's nice.
You: A bottle of New Coke.
Other Person: Wow.
You: And a ticket to Sinbad.
Other Person: Oh. Was that for House Guest or Good Burger?

CONCLUSION: The best things in the world are on eBay! Shop now, shop often! To bid on these fine items click below:

Soul Jammers

Margarita candle

Sinbad Ticket


  1. i am going to buy all 3 items off ebay. i will listen to soul jammers as i look at the ticket by candlelight.

  2. Taco, I hope that you are eating Spaghettios.

  3. I once bought $20 bill on eBay. The bidding ended at 19.25. After shipping, I lost 50 cents on the deal. Still, it's a funny story.

  4. Hey Sk8, I will give you $100 for just $110 cash. Deal?