Thursday, July 01, 2004


A Bunch O Junk children's story

"... and I have seventy-three Barbies, only, one of them doesn't have a shoe because my little brother was playing with it and he stuck it up his nose." Sheila beamed with pride for a moment, then sat down at her desk.

"O.K. Gamaliel." said Mrs. Beaglebottom "It's your turn. Tell the class something about yourself."

Gamaliel stood and looked sheepishly at his classmates.

"My name is Gamaliel" He said aloud. The class didn't seem impressed. Most of the students had their fingers in each others nostrils trying to find shoes.

"Go on, tell us more." Pleaded Mrs. Beaglebottom.

Without thinking Gamaliel just opened his mouth and started talking.

"I have the same name as former president Warren Gamaliel Harding!" The classmates were still too busy to notice. Gamaliel continued. "Actually almost all of the presidents had the middle name Gamaliel... Abraham Gamaliel Lincoln, George Gamaliel Washington, John Gamaliel Adams, John Quincy Gamaliel Adams, Gamaliel Quincy M.D., Benjamin Gamaliel Franklin, Bob Gamaliel Hope..." The class sat in a completely attentive state, "Even Sy Gamaliel Sperling, President of the Hair Club for people named Gamaliel.

"Wow" said a stunned student clad in an orange shirt.

"Yeah, you always have to vote for the candidate with the middle name Gamaliel, it's the law, it's in the Constitution." Said Gamaliel. He beamed for a moment, the sat down and pulled a shoe out of his nose.


1 comment:

  1. Freeze,
    Good lord. I had no idea I was so wrong about Quincy. Our Bunch O Junk fact checker is a Russian immigrant named Anton Palavacik. He came to us six months ago after getting to the U.S. through a harrowing journey involving Polish drug smugglers, a violent ex KGB agent and bacterial samalitus.
    He made this journey with his dog Gurgee and 3 of his children. His wife and 2 of his daughters did not live through the trip.
    Immigration services have granted him permission to stay in the U.S. as long as he maintains his employment with Bunch O Junk.

    But, as of 10 minutes ago, he was sent packing. Back to the U.S.S.R. Anton!

    Thanks, Freeze.