Friday, October 01, 2004

Run DMC's King Of Rock

Ahhh, Run DMC.

Perhaps the greatest rap group of all time.
In 1985 they released their second LP: King of Rock.

Let's take a look at the lyrics to the title track.

"King Of Rock"

I'm the king of rock, there is none higher
Sucker MC's should call me sire
To burn my kingdom, you must use fire
I won't stop rockin' till I retire

Yes, it's good to be king. Too bad his kingdom is flammable.
We get assurance here from Run that he won't stop rockin' till he retires. Odd, being King Of Rock, you would assume he would HAVE to rock until retirement.
Now we rock the party and come correct
Our cuts are on time and rhymes connect
Got the right to vote and will elect
And other rappers can't stand us, but give us respect

The right to vote? I thought they were KINGS of rock! I thought this was a monarchy! They can be voted out of power?
They called us and said we're gettin iller
There's no one chiller
It's not Michael Jackson and this is not Thriller
As one def rapper, I know I can hang
I'm Run from Run-DMC, like Kool from Kool and the Gang

Someone called and said they were getting iller? Who was it? Not Michael Jackson! I like how they take time to explain to the listener what artists and songs they are NOT listening to. Also they explain what a front man is. Good going Run DMC, very educational.
Roll to the rock, rock to the roll
DMC stands for devastating mic control
You can't touch me with a ten foot pole
And I even made the devil sell me his soul

Hmmmm, I always thought touching things with a ten foot pole was a bad thing. I always thought you said "I hate broccoli, I wouldn't touch it with a ten foot pole."
Maybe I only thought that way because I lacked "devastating mic control." In all honesty, DMC, how hard is it to control a mic? If he had said "devastating VCR clock control" I maybe would have respected that, but mic control? Give me a break!
Now we crash through walls, cut through floors
Bust through ceilings and knock down doors
And when we're on the tape, we're fresh out the box
You can hear our sound for blocks and blocks
For every living person we're a purple treat
It's me and DMC, Jay where's the beat?

Once again they are breaking things. They did the same thing in Rock Box.
Bust through ceilings and crash through walls? They sound like a bizarre Hulk and Kool Aid Man rampage.
"For every living person we're a purple treat"
What is a purple treat? That sounds like a Barney the Dinosaur pickup line.
Now we're the baddest of the bad, the coolest of the cool
I'm DMC, I rock and roll. I'm DJ Run, I rock and rule
It's not a Trick or Treat and it's not a April Fool
It's all brand new, never ever old school

Never say never, DMC, you are now old school.
Interestingly, earlier they told us that the song is not Michael Jackson or Thriller, now they are stressing what HOLIDAYS this song isn't. Next they will say "It's not a dental exam or a pair of orange Frisbees."
You got the music in your body and you can't comprehend
When your mind won't wiggle and your knees will bend
Music ain't nothin but a people's jam
It's DJ Run-DMC rockin without a band

If you have a knees that won't bend, it might be arthritis. Old school, Run, you’re in the class.
Now I walked on ice and never fell
I spent my time in a plush hotel
I stood on many stages, held many mics
Take airplane flights, at huge heights
So all you sucker MC's, you gotta say please
Cause when he jumps high, I'm pulling down weeds
Got a song so strong, it's knocking down trees
Is it hard to believe it's Run-DMC

Save the trees, DON'T listen to Run DMC!
I am from, around the way
And Run goes to school, every day
And Jay plays the records he has to play
And we get down with no delay, HEY!

See, DMC is local to the area and Run is a student. DMC must NOT be a student, but Run makes up for that by going EVERYDAY, rather than just weekdays. That all makes sense, but WHO is making Jay play the records he "has to play"?????
I rock the party with the words I speak
And Run says the rhymes that are unique
And Jay cuts the records every day of the week
And we are the crew that can never be beat

"Jay cuts the records every day of the week" and "Run goes to school, every day!" Why is it that only DMC respects the Sabbath? Don't these other two need any rest?

I am happy to hear that Run's rhymes are unique. I just hope he doesn't set a trend, then his rhymes would cease to be unique.
So don't try to diss me, try to be my friend
Cause if you do, you'll get yours in the end
The rhymes we say, shall set a trend
Because a devastating rap is what we send

OH NO! There go the unique rhymes! Now, they are just a fad. Like Beanie Babies and talking like Austin Powers, Run's rhymes may soon be played out.
Good thing he invites us to be his friend. We could all use a new friend.
Every jam we play, we break two needles
There's three of us but we're not the Beatles

They are NOT the Beatles? I didn't know there was any confusion. Maybe the whole "king of rock" thing may have confused them with Elvis, but the Beatles??? I guess they just said this to keep Yoko Ono away.
My name is Darryl, you can call him D
You can call me Darryl Mack, or you can call him DMC
People always ask, DMC, what does it mean?
D's for never dirty, MC for mostly clean

R is for redundant, UN's for an intergovernmental organization concerned with international peace and security.
Like we said before, we rock hardcore
I'm DJ Run, I can scratch. I'm DMC, I can draw
And now we got the knack, to attract
Our rhyme's an aphrodisiac

Run is itchy, DMC can draw. Maybe he could make me a picture of the United Nations.
We'll reign on your brain and rock your knot
When it comes to rock, give it all we got

WHHHOOOAAAA! Stay away from my knot.
To be MC's, we got what it takes
Let the poppers pop and the breakers break
We're cool cool cats, it's like that
That's the way it is, so stay the hell back

Hey, take it easy! I thought you wanted to be friends!
We're causin hard times, for sucker MC's
Cause they don't make no songs like these
PERIOD!

There you have it, Run DMC's King Of Rock. I am not sure if we accomplished anything by analyzing it, but at least bunchojunk.com will be the top search result for people who type "Run DMC at United Nations" into Google.

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