Friday, October 29, 2004

The Monster M*A*S*H

I wanted to do a special article about the song Monster Mash.
There really wasn't much to do, the song is actually incredibly redundant, and except fot the part where Dracula whines about his "Translvania Twist," there isnt much to it.

So, insted I wrote a parody of Monster Mash about the TV show M*A*S*H and two of it's spin offs.

The spin off's included AfterMASH (where Klinger, Potter and Father Mulcahy work at a VA hospital) and W*A*L*T*E*R (where Walter 'Radar' O'Rielly becomes a police officer after the war.)

Let me apoligise in advance to Bobby "BORIS" Pickett (creator of the Monster Mash), Alan Alda, 'Weird Al' Yankovic, Jason (the kid I used to beat up in third grade) and ANYONE who decides to read the entire song parody.

The Monster M*A*S*H
I was watching M*A*S*H* late one night
When my eyes beheld an funny sight
from my funny bone, laughs began to rise
And suddenly to my surprise

It wasn't M*A*S*H*
It was AfterMASH
this AfterMASH
about a hospital staff
some guys from M*A*S*H*
were in this new cast
but it's not M*A*S*H*
It is After MASH

Colonel Potter had tried to start a new life
Retired from the Army spending time with his wife
But it got boring sitting around day after day
So he applied for a job- at the V.A.

Sorta like M*A*S*H*
but this was AfterMASH
The AfterMASH
Before the ratings crashed
It was like M*A*S*H
They called it AfterMASH
I prefer M*A*S*H
But, I'll watch AfterMASH

Klinger was stuck, spent time in jail
Potter came along and posted bail
offered him a job and Father Mulcahy, too
and soon enough their careers were through

Not from M*A*S*H
but from AfterMASH
because after M*A*S*H
was nothing but trash
They played the mash
It caught on in a flash
They played the mash
They played the monster mash

Around the country people started to shout
They didn't understand what AfterMASH was about
They looked at the screen and shook thier fists
And said, "Whatever happened to Alan Alda?"

He was on M*A*S*H*
but not on AfterMASH
Why not AfterMASH
He didn't need the cash
From AfterMASH
It went off the air in a flash
Not much else rhymes with M*A*S*H
So, I'll repeat AfterMASH

Soon it was over, AfterMASH was canned
but another spin off was about to land
this one too had ratings that would falter
it starred Gary Burghoff and was called W*A*L*T*E*R

Radar from M*A*S*H
This parody is redundant-mash
kind of stupid-mash
hasn't been funny for three stanzas-mash
should have stopped earlier-mash
oh God, make it stop-mash
what does this even have to do with Halloween-mash?
Hey, I warned you-mash