Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Katie: Pink Ranger

A bunchojunk.com children's story
Katie woke up to the sound of crackling bacon.

She reached over to her hi-fidelity, quadrophonic, auto-reverse karaoke machine and stopped the cassette.

The bacon sounds stopped.

She ejected the cassette and placed it in it's snug plastic case, labeled: Frank Sinatra Duets... and Bacon Noises.

Kate walked to the calendar on the door to see what day she had ahead of her.

"Oooh" she cooed "PINK DAY!"

SMACK! The door swung violently against her head. It was Emalio, her live-in housekeeper/blackjack dealer, standing there in his neatly pressed apron. The apron was embossed with the phrase "Kiss the Cook... and the housekeeper/blackjack dealer."

He looked behind the door at Katie's lifeless body and sang "Katie! Wake up your Fiddle Faddle is ready!"

Then Emalio jumped out the window, onto the lawn, to play with the possums.

Two hours later Katie regained conciousness. She smiled at the calendar and purred "Pink Day!"
Ten minutes later Katie stumbled down the steps clad in her pink Banana Republic Safari outfit, complete with pink khaki shorts, a pink bow tie and her pink, plastic, pretty plaid and polka dotted pith helmet.

She walked over to her pile of car keys on the dining room table and grabbed the one labeled "pink key."

NOTE: Be sure to pronounce this as TWO words; "Pink... key" as opposed to "Pinky" as in the small finger or the female ghost in Pac Man.

Then she got into her pink car and drove to the park where she worked as a ranger.


  1. Gene Hackman is so cool that pink keys turn him!!!!!

  2. Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble

  3. You know what would be AWESOME?? If Evel Knievel jumped over Katie in a pink motorcycle. And then he made a second jump in one of those crazy 1920s bicycles with the giant front wheel. Oh man that would be SSSSSSSWWWEEEEEEETTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!

  4. So I'm confused, was Katie the Pink Power Ranger after all?

  5. In the film adaptation of this story, Hilary Duff should star as Katie. I can see her doing the soundtrak. Perhaps Hilary can do a duet with Frank Sinatra, while bacon sizzles in the background. Imagine the possibilities.

  6. I think this story asks kids and important question and makes them think about something kids don't really think about. "The Fiddle Faddle may be ready for them, but are they ready for the Fiddle Faddle?"

    Very deep, Sweetie. Very deep.