Thursday, October 14, 2004

Famous quotes from Abe

Here are some quotes from one of my favorite Presidents of all time, Abe Lincoln. They should both educate and entertain you. If that doesn't work, enjoy the tomfoolery that I have written after the quote.

"I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea, and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficient Father who dwelleth in Heaven." (Proclamation of Thanksgiving, October 3, 1863)

Or we could all just eat too much and watch a bunch of lunkheads throw a football around. I hope Abe isn't watching!
"If destruction be our lot, we must ourselves be its author and finisher. As a nation of freemen, we must live through all time, or die by suicide." (Lyceum Address, January 27, 1838)

Hey wasn't this in Lord Of The Rings? Didn't the old guy say that to the dwarf? Hmmmm. Maybe not. Maybe Kevin Nash said this during one of his WCW interviews.
"You can not fail if you resolutely determine that you will not." (Letter to George Latham, July 22, 1862)

I will not fail to write SOMETHING funny after the next quote!
"Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other one thing." (Letter to Isham Reavis, November 5, 1855)

Ahhhh, now there is just too much pressure. I give up.
"Public sentiment is everything. With public sentiment, nothing can fail; without it, nothing can succeed." (Lincoln-Douglas Debate at Ottawa, Illinois, August 21, 1858)

Wait one hot minute! What if I resolutely determine that I will NOT fail, and then I bear my resolution to succeed in min, but the public sentiment is not on my side what then?
This is too confusing. I am starting to WISH these were Kevin Nash quotes.

"I have stepped out upon this platform that I may see you and that you may see me, and in the arrangement I have the best of the bargain." (Opening remarks at Painesville, Ohio, February 16, 1861)

See, that is because he was kinda ugly. That is a pretty funny joke. See, there is a moral to all this: You don't have to mention Kevin Nash to make people laugh, but it helps.

14 comments:

  1. Anonymous10/13/2004

    Lunkheads! Theres a word I have never been called before! LOL

    Football Player
    Cris Powell

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  2. Great stuff, I loved Lincoln's joke!

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  3. What the hell is this...Sweetie is now giving history lessons? Honest Abe was one of our finest presidents.....Freed the Slaves...finally picked Grant to run the union...and made being ugly a good thing. Heck if it wasnt for Abe...I dont think I would have ever married Mrs Yearly..who with enough alcohol
    eventually thought I was as handsome as Abe!!!

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  4. Sweetie,

    You forgot to mention that Abe Lincoln was the first Presidential candidate to bring up Dick Cheney's lesbian daughter Mary.

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  5. At least no one called her a lunkhead!

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  6. Pretty good stuff. love the pennies!

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  7. I thought his best quotes were "I Pity the Fool" and "Quit your Jibba-Jabba". Oh, wait this was supposed to responsed to the Mr. T. article. I can't work a computer! And also, I'm a complete idiot. So obviously I'm voting for Kerry/Edwards!!

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  8. Sweetie,

    How about an article featuring Hilary Duff's most famous quotes. You can start with, "I hate Avril Lavigne." Then move on to, "I may hate Avril Lavigne, but I REALLY hate Lindsay Lohan." Then, "I may hate Avril Lavigne and Lindsay Lohan, but that sound guy on Cheaper by the Dozen really ticked me off."

    Some really insightful stuff by Miss Duff.

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  9. My unique truth is that I am a lunkhead!

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