Thursday, July 07, 2005

Dear Sweetie: The Chain Letter

Below you will find a silly email. The kind where you answer a bunch of random questions and then scroll down for some answers. I thought it would be one of those where there was some trick like it would say "You are thinking of a green hammer" or something. Instead it was just stupid.

1) Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.
2) Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, green, yellow?
3) Your first initial?
4) Your month of birth?
5) Which color do you like more, black or white
6) Name of a person of the same sex as yours.
7) Your favorite number?
8) Do you like California or Florida more?
9) Do you like the lake or the ocean more?
10) Write down a wish. (A realistic one).



ARE Y0U D0NE?iF S0 SCR0LL D0WN.(D0N'T CHEAT... iM WATCHiNG Y0U













THE ANSWERS
1. You are completely in love with this person.
2. If you choose:
Red - You are alert and your life is full of love.
Black - You are conservative and aggressive.
Green- Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.
Blue - You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you love.
Yellow- you are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down.
3. If your initial is:A-K You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.
L-R You try to enjoy your life to the maximum and your love life is soon to blossom.
S-Z You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.
4. If you were born in:Jan-Mar: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected.
April-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but the memories will last forever.
July-Sept: You will have a great year and will experience a major life changing experience for the good.
Oct-Dec: Your love life will not be too great,but eventually you will find your soul mate.
5. If you chose...Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.
White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you,but you may not realize it.
6. This person is your best friend.
7. This is how many close friends you have in your lifetime.
8. If you chose:California: You like adventure.
Florida: You are a laid back person.
9. If you chose:
Lake: You are loyal to your friends and to your love. And you are very reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.
10. This wish will come true only if you EMAIL THIS in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday!!



Here is what I learned:


1. I am "completely in love" with the cleaning lady who was emptying the trash as I read the email.
2. I am "spontaneous and love kisses and affection."
I hope she puts down the trash before hugging me, however.
3. "I will have a lot of love and friendships in my life." I hope me and the cleaning lady can have an 'open' relationship.
4. My love life "will not be too great, but eventually I will find my soul mate." I hope so!
I will start hanging around the dumpster.
5. My "life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time" I assume so. Especially communicating with my true love. Unless I learn Spanish. But I am really lazy.
6. My best friend is George Bush. We hang out whenever he is not busy presidenting. Maybe He, Laura, the cleaning lady and I can go to Camp David together.
7. I will have 3 friends including George Bush. Yay!
8. I "like adventure." I assumed I just hated hurricanes and humidity, but whatever.
9. I am "loyal to my friends and to my love." Mr. President, you have my complete support. So does the cleaning lady.
10. Before my birthday I shall take flying lessons and buy my own plane. I want George Bush and the cleaning lady to wave to me from the runway.

Of course this wont happen if you don't hurry and email this in one hour! Hurry! You can email it to presidentbush@whitehouse.gov, he's my best friend so I know he won't mind.

11 comments:

  1. I guess I must admit I cheated because I didn't KNOW the name of the cleaning lady, but she was the first woman to come to mind.

    I shall invite all of you to our wedding- all except Gene O'Hack. He is so cool that the invitations will send him.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Jim Shorts7/07/2005

    Foul! You can't write down a name if you don't knwo what it is! Foul

    ReplyDelete
  3. 1. I am "completely in love" with Wendi Richter
    2. I am "full of anger"
    3. "I will have a lot of love and friendships in my life." Fuji Style!
    4. My love life "will not be too great, but eventually I will find my soul mate." I would rather find a tag team partner for Don Muraco.
    5. My "life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time" Maybe I should book Don Muracco in the Roller Derby. Hmmmm?
    6. My best friend is referee Dave Hepner. Why doesn't he cut Don Muracco some slack?
    7. Six friends for Fuji-san.
    8. I "like adventure." I also like affordable trailer homes.
    9. I am "loyal to my friends and to my love."Wendi will never see it coming when I hit her with a chair. Fuji style!
    10. Wow! Don Muracco will defeat Hulk Hogan and become the star of his own VH1 reality series.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Mrs. Ashton Kutcher7/07/2005

    1. I am "completely in love" with Ashton.
    2. I am "spontaneous and love kisses and affection." Get ready for loving, Ashton.
    3. "I will have a lot of love and friendships in my life." All from Ashton!
    4. My love life "will not be too great, but eventually I will find my soul mate." A little late, I have found him.

    I realize I have no original joke here. I will go to the closet and cry.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Fuji is a riot! I really liked that!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Astro's Slugger Morgan Ensberg7/07/2005

    I was thinking of Carmen Electra! She is the love of my life!
    Woooo! I hit that one out of the park!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm confused. Should I be expecting a wedding invitation or Gene O'Hack to arrive in my mailbox?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Sweetie,

    I am not that cool. However, Gene Hackman is. He's so cool, that corrections and clarifications issue him!

    ReplyDelete
  9. 1. Robble Robble
    2. Robble Robble
    3. Robble
    4. Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble
    5. Robble
    6. Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble
    7. Robble Robble Robble Robble Robble
    8. Robble Robble
    9. Robble
    10. Robble Robble Robble Robble.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Guy Who Won't Stop Talking About Texas Hold 'em Poker7/08/2005

    Yeah, this was a stupid email! I answered with the name of one of the Queer Eye guys as my best freind! But that is only because the commercial was on as I read this. Of course I was watching Skippy from Family Ties holding a triple acer close to the line that night on Celebrity Poker Showdown. Poker is the new solitaire baby!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Racist Hal7/08/2005

    I won't watch Bravo. Too many damned eskimos on that channel.

    ReplyDelete