Monday, March 14, 2005

Matthew Lesko

Whooo hoooo! I LOVE THIS GUY!

You may have seen this guy on TV late at night. He hosts an infomercial where he jumps around in The Riddler's costume screaming about how you can get money from the government.

He sells a series of books that can help you get government grants for unusual stuff. Here are some of the things he claims you can get out of his book.

$30K - go to school in Hawaii
$43K free - become a French chef
$100K - open a country inn
$30K - become a grizzly bear tagger

No kidding. I think I would be UNDERPAID if I had to tag GRIZZLY BEARS for just $30K!
That just sounds dangerous!
Could I get $30K for picking fights with ninjas? Or sharing a pillow with a death row inmate?
$70K free - study arts management
$50K - edit science magazines at home
$2K free - study storytelling

Study storytelling? Let us take a look at that class:

TEACHER: And the little pig went tritty trot trot. The End.
STUDENT: That was interesting.
TEACHER: What did your studying teach you.
STUDENT: I like ham.

$20K - produce a school TV show for kids
$75K - renovate an old house
$100K free - start a day care center
$5K grant to train your employees
$60K free - open an amusement center

I could try this!

Guy's Amusement Center
(Located in the El Segundo Mall)
Price list of amusing things:
$5 Guy will tickle you (this offer does not apply to Ed the Mall Security Guard. (You know why, Ed.)
$10 Guy will hit you in the face with a pie.
$100 We lock the doors and you are free to amuse yourself

$210K - work on your invention
$25K - start a consulting business
$5K - work with an artist $10K to read poetry
$25K free - start a messenger service
$260K - begin an exercise gym
$205K - start a car wash
$535K - open a motel

But it will cost you $50 to open a hotel and walk in on Matthew and Mrs. Lesko.
$67K free - start a cleaners
$65K - begin a weight loss business
$60K - open a billiard parlor
$125K - begin an auto repair shop
$100K free - found a pizza shop
$60K free - start a bakery
$12K - cut hair

What he DOESN'T tell you is that you will be cutting hair OFF LESKO'S BACK!
$300K - start a brewery
$30K free - make videos
$12K - make crafts
$25K - sell shirts
$100K free - create marble sculpture

Yeah, Matt is full of great deals.


Matthew's grew up in Wilkes Barre, Pennsylvania. He went to college in Milwaukee, then went to Vietnam. Yep. I can imagine the fear in the eyes of the Viet Cong as they were frantically greeted by Matthew Lesko. He then got a master's degree and became a management consultant.
He would help Fortune 500 companies uncover information. But then he had a BRILLIANT IDEA. He could make a suit out of question marks.

The rest was history.

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