Friday, January 14, 2005

Chasing the blues away

What happened to all the good car chases?

Is it just me or is something missing on TV these days? A major staple on the tub is MIA, and it's not just that mean British lady from “The Weakest Link.”

Car chases.

Heck, just a good old fashioned car show would be great.

Remember in the 1980s every show had a car starring in it!

“Knight Rider” was probably the ultimate car show. KITT the talking car was as big a star as David Hasselhoff in every country except Germany. Of course in Germany, Hasselhoff’s mug appears on currency and the official flag.

Here is a transcript of the famous German talk show “Stuccum Chiekel”:

GERMAN MAN: Gutentag herr!
OTHER GERMAN MAN: Die etunder mistonde uster Hasselhoff.
GERMAN MAN: Des woof en Hasselhoff! Woof iz Hasselhoff!
OTHER GERMAN SHEPARD: Oh, in case you are wondering I am not a dog. I am real Shepard, the kind that tends to sheep.

KITT’s predecessor, The General Lee, was maybe even MORE. The General Lee was the orange Dodge Charger from “The Dukes of Hazzard. “

According to the “E! True Hollywood Story,” the General Lee got more fan mail than ANY of the shows human stars.

I find this hard to believe because I PERSONALLY sent a weekly fan letter to Boss Hogg. I also sent him a ham at Christmas time and on April Fools Day I would send him the following letter:

Dear Boss Hogg,
I am a big fan; I loved you in “Charlotte’s Web.” I thought your performance as Wilbur was awesome! I have just one question, what was the deal with Templeton? Was he supposed to be gay or what?
Your #1 fan,
Guy Hutchinson
P.S. APRIL FOOLS! I know that Wilbur was an actual pig, and you are just a fat guy! Have a great day.

Still, if you can’t trust the “E! True Hollywood Story,” who can you trust?
Even shows that did not STAR a car had a famous car and would use it in lots in chase after chase. Some of the best car chase shows focused on police officers. “T.J. Hooker," "CHiPs" and "Miami Vice" were all great shows BECAUSE of the car chases.

One of the best reasons to watch “Miami Vice” was the Ferrari Daytona Spider. It was such a cool car that it made every scene it was in even more exciting. Could you have imagined Crockett and Tubbs riding around in a Plymouth Duster? How about an AMC Gremlin? What if they were cruising in a LeCar?

That would have been awful.

Or imagine this: what if, instead being cops, they were traveling chiropractors and instead of wearing t-shirts under suit jackets, they wore t-shirts OVER their suit jackets.

That would have actually been pretty cool.

Take a look at the “A-Team,” every single episode would involve at least one high speed chase with the famous GMC Van. There would be entire episodes where the whole plot involved the van and what B.A. (Mr. T) would do to anyone who touched it.

Plus there was an episode where Murdock went on “Wheel of Fortune” and won a car. I am not sure how that ties in, but I loved that episode.

Magnum PI’s Ferrari was one of the coolest cars on TV, and I don’t mind saying that I asked people to call me GUY PI all through kindergarten just because I wanted to have that car.

And I wanted that mustache, but that wasn’t allowed. The kindergarten teacher insisted I shave before class.

In conclusion, I wish that “CSI” would have some car chases. I wish that “Desperate Housewives” would have a scene where Teri Hatcher is chasing bad guys screaming “nobody better touch my van!”

I also wish Boss Hogg would write back.


  1. Anonymous1/14/2005

    Interesting observation. Not just on TV, I noticed a lack of car chases in movies too! I remember even the Blues Brothers had about 20 car chases! I wish there were more. 

    Posted by Sweetie Fan

  2. Anonymous1/14/2005

    I used to love Knight Rider and The Dukes of Hazard. Like Sweetie Fan I was also going to comment about the lack of car chase movies as well. If only Burt Reynolds would return my calls about my new Smokey and the Bandit and Cannonball Run scripts. 

    Posted by cravipat

  3. Anonymous1/14/2005

    I too bemoan the lack of Burt in movies in general.
    Still, Cravipat, there is hope. Burt Reynold is going to play Boss Hogg in a Dukes of Hazard movie! It's on the IMDB!
    That should bring back the car chase and Burt all at once.
    I don't know how he will put the weight on ;) 

    Posted by I HATE SWEETIE

  4. Anonymous1/14/2005

    I forgot about how cool the Miami Vice car was! Very very cool stuff. 

    Posted by staplegun

  5. Anonymous1/17/2005

    The cop show that ABV had last year had car chases...for that matter just turn on real COPS...and you get screaming people on there too...a winning combination... 

    Posted by Nettie

  6. Anonymous1/21/2005

    That picture is so funny! 

    Posted by Sk8grrrl