Friday, May 21, 2004

Happy Birthday Mr. T!!!!

On May 21, 1952 the man, who would one day be known to the world as Mr. T, was born.

Mr. T is my favorite celebrity, and often people ask me why, why Mr. T. Alright, two times people asked me, but anyway but it was still a valid question.

Here is why:

FAVORITE MOVIE ACTOR: Mr. T
I love Rocky III, but not just because of the scene where Rocky and Apollo hug on the beach - in slow motion - wearing socks pulled up to their thighs - while clapping. No, I love Rocky III because of Clubber Lang. This is really a tour-de-force performance (well, it is probably a tour-de force performance. I don't exactly know what that means.) Mr. T is downright scary in some of these scenes as he shoves Mickey against a wall, trains in a DUNGEON, and promises to CRUCIFY Rocky - 'real bad'.


FAVORITE TV ACTOR: Mr. T
The A-Team is great, but the show where Mr. T shines brightest is 'T And T' where he plays T.S. Turner. Picture Mr. T in a suit and tie wearing glasses. Picture him fighting crimes (one of which involved the Fat Boys.) Multiply that by 30 minutes and you have T And T.

FAVORITE MUSICIAN: Mr. T
Mr. T put out 2 albums in the 1980's: 'Be Somebody Or Be Somebody's Fool' and 'Mr. T's Commandments'. Mr. T's Commandments is the better of the two just because it features some of the most unique songs ever. If you haven't heard him rap 'The Toughest Man In The World', you haven't heard music. “The toughest man in the world is the one who know the right way to go / The toughest man in the world is strong inside he don’t ever hide”

FAVORITE AUTHOR: Mr. T
Yup, he wrote a book. Actually more than one. He co-authored a children's book called 'Be Somebody Or Be Somebody's Fool'. This was a companion piece to the aforementioned album, which was a companion piece to a video of the same name. He also has written a book called 'Cancer Saved My Life' that has yet to be published. His autobiography 'Mr. T:The Man With The Gold' did go to publication and is a truly fascinating read. It describes his journey from the rough ghettos to superstardom.

FAVORITE ATHLETE: Mr. T
I love pro wrestling. I find it exciting and fun. The outcome is predetermined: fun. Yup, pro wrestling gives the weather forecast a 90% chance of fun.
Allow me to start over. Mr. T was a pro wrestler. He appeared in Wrestlemania and Wrestlemania 2. I like Mr. T.

FAVORITE COUNTRY MUSIC SINGER: Conway Twitty
Conway once had an album called 'Mr. T.'

FAVORITE BREAKFAST CEREAL: Mr. T’s
O.K., it was just Cap'n Crunch shaped like the letter T, but it was cool. Also, you got free stickers and a comic on the back about cereal thieves.

FAVORITE CARTOON CHARACTER: Mister T
Yeah, Mister T. I am not sure why, but during the opening of the Mr. T cartoon series they spell out Mr. m-i-s-t-e-r. Perhaps they had extra animated cels in the studio from the failed 'Mister, Mister' cartoon series. It certainly was odd to spell his name out like that. It would be like titling the X-Men cartoon Echks-Men.
If you don't recall the cartoon, the premise is like this: Mr. T (uh Mister T?) leads a group of gymnast s around from event to event. Along the way they fight crime. Why was he with the gymnasts? Why did they spell his name out like that? How did he take off all that gold at night? One chain at a time or all at once? Who cares! It is a great cartoon!

FAVORITE CHILDHOOD TOY: Mr. T action figure
Yes, this was pretty cool. They made 2 Mr. T A-Team figures. One was the same size as the rest of the A-Team, but the other towered over them. He was over a foot tall and the rest of the team was about six inches. I used to have Mr. T carry the rest of the A-Team on his shoulders as he went around fighting crime. It was like they had their own Godzilla and he had a Mohawk.

FAVORITE COMIC BOOK: Mr. T and The T- Force
Yes, this 1993 comic series featured Mr. T fighting crime and wielding a video camera that looked like a gun. It featured positive messages like ‘don’t steal’ and ‘stay in school’ and ‘don’t lick the grill when it is on.’ Sadly I had to learn that last one the hard way.

So in closing it is easy to be a fan of Mr. T, because Mr. T is all things. Who can compare to the sheer merchandising madness that is Mr. T? Have you ever eaten Tom Cruise cereal? Nope. Did you ever see Johnny Depp step inside the wrestling ring? I haven’t. What about the Gordon Jump cartoon? Never existed!
Not even a three headed monster featuring the heads of Marilyn Monroe, Elvis Presley and Pope John Paul II could compete with the media saturation that is Mr. T. Never. However, I bet that monster would headline Wrestlemania.

UPDATE: July 11, 2004

I got a chance to meet Mr. T again at the XTRA Sports Winning Way Event in fabulous Anaheim California.
It was awesome. Mr. T spoke about his love for God and America. The event was a motivational speaking event. Mr. T was speaking along with Hulk Hogan and Goldberg.

Afterwards I spoke to Mr. T at the autograph session. Very, very cool.

5 comments:

  1. Happy B-Day, Mr. T! I can't imagine what my childhood would have been like had you not done things like The A-Team, Rocky 3 or DC Cab. Enjoy and best wishes for the coming year! I pity the fool who doesn't wish T a happy birthday!

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  2. First off, let me be the next person to wish Mr. T a happy birthday. He was outstanding in Rocky III, DC Cab, the A-team, and as a cohost on Jimmy Kimmell.

    That being said, I take issue with using such a happy occasion to bash Gordon Jump for never having a cartoon. In the Different Strokes episode where he played a child molestor, he gave the boys wine and showed them nudie pictures.

    Ah, but the problem is that Gordon Jump did that in 1982. Had he done that in 2002, he would be an international pop sensation and people everywhere would flock to have their kids spend the weekend in his bedroom at the "WKRP Ranch" near Malibu. The kids could play with the Bones of Venus Fly Trap.

    Gordon Jump would defniately have his own cartoon, much like the way Michael Jackson could have his own cartoon, if he demanded it. The problem was that Gordon, was playing characters ahead of his time and no one had the vision in 1982.

    For example, in 1988 Mr. Jump played the Maytag repair man. A guy who sits in a room by himself all day, hoping someone would call. If he did that in 1998, he would be Bill Clinton's Vice President.

    Lastly, he played a gym owner on Starsky & Hutch. Had he lived until now, he could have played a gym owner in the Starsky & Hutch movie. Ya see, he was always ahead of his time.

    Therefore, the 80s did not appreciate Mr. Jump. Had his career and roles taken off today, he surely would have had his own cartoon. Do NOT penalize Mr. Jump for being a star 20 years too early.

    -Jeff

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  3. I cannot agree with you more Freeze.

    Gordon Jump was ahead of his time. I heard that in 1984 when they first started production on Forrest Gump it was going to be called Gordon Jump. It was going to be all about his life, rather than the story it became.

    My name's Gordon, Gordon Jump. Would you like a chocolate?

    God Bless You Gordon Jump. Rest in peace.

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  4. A very belated birthday to Mr. T!

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  5. Mr. T is pretty cool fool, but not as cool as Bruce.

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