Wednesday, December 07, 2011

Fake Christmas Ornaments

I love Christmas Ornaments! Some effectively capture the mood of the season... like this holiday cow:

Others... not so much.

A few years ago I got this:

I don't get it. It came in a fancy ornament box and it was labeled as a "Christmas ornament" but why? Just because there is a hole for a hook on it? Would it kill them to put a Santa hat on him?

Same thing here. Why does Marilyn Monroe on a phone represent Christmas?

Well, rather than be eternally annoyed I embraced the "everything is an ornament" mentality.

In 2004 Pepsi released "Holiday Spice" which was basically Pepsi with a hint of cinnamon.

Now it's an ornament.

How about this:

Can you think of a reason why a 30 year old Gilligan's Island bath toy can't be an ornament? Well, keep it to yourself. He's on the tree now.

A Christian Hosoi skateboard? Why not?

How about a Rubix cube keychain? Yeah.

How about a Hannukah dreidel? You know there are 74 different ways to spell Hannukah? That isn't one of them.

How about a Garbage Pail Kid who is electrocuted at the touch of a button? Of course!

Nothing says Christmas like executing kids.

Actually, I think King Herod wanted the infant Jesus executed on the first Christmas. Wow. This article is now intellectual mumbo jumbo. It's all an allegory or something. Excuse me as I go grow a beard and buy a turtleneck.


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  2. My wife has a strict policy of all ornaments requiring some hint of Christmas but my "It's beginning to taste a lot like Christmas" shark causes an argument every year. He's got a present in his mouth and he's wearing a wreath. He deserves a spot on the tree.

    I think at this point I have enough rejected ornaments that I can decorate a second tree next year.

  3. Here is the shark.

    I didn't take any of the rejected ornaments since they are packed away. The majority of them are the Halmark Star Wars series ornaments.