myheritage.com

I know that people found many ways to waste time BEFORE the Internet, but I bet it wasn't as much fun.

I recently stumbled across "myheritage.com" and I learned so much about myself.

The site allows you to put in a photo of yourself and they find a bunch of celebrities that look like you.

They explain WHY and HOW this works on the website, but it seemed a bit boring, so I jumped right in and uploaded a photo.

I started out by sending them my head shot. About 45 seconds later they presented me with the results.



Not bad! A 64% match with superstar Matt Dillon. Let's see who else kinda looks like me:



WOW! That guy I always confuse with Jeff Pullman! Plus Dr. Alan Grant from Jurassic Park! Even matching David Arquette 62% is pretty damned cool.

Think about it. That means I could get into bed with Cortney Cox 48 TIMES BEFORE SHE NOTICED.

I think. I was never that great at math.

Here's the rest of my twins:


Let's see. Theres a guy who married a Spice Girl, one of the Brokeback Mountain guys, HOLY COW: Kurt friggin' Douglas! SPARTACUS, baby!

Wait a minute...

Rudy Giulaini?

Me, Heath, David and Kurt are deeply offended by the suggestion that we resemble Rudy.

We refuse to upload any of our photos anymore, myheritage.com.

So instead, here is Andre the Giant.



Hee hee hee! He looks like Kiefer!

How about an Andre ACTION FIGURE?


HA HA HA HA! Okay, myheritage.com, you have regained my love. Let's put the whole Giulaini thing behind us.

Here is one of my all time favorites: Me hanging out with Mr. T in August of 2005:


Mr. T looks like Bill Gates and I look like Wesley Snipes. You're mocking us, aren't you, myheritage.com?

HEY! Let me try Mr. T's head shot!

Oh, right. That was a big waste of 45 seconds.

I'll do just one more, a photo of Mr. T and I from back in 2002:



Alright, thats it. I hate you, myheritage.com.

I hate you so much.